


Family is More Than Blood

by Crossroads_Castiel



Series: Love, Friendship, and Feathers [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alive Mary Winchester, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, BAMF Castiel, Castiel Angst, Crowley Being Crowley, Dean Angst, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Injured Castiel, Lucifer is a Little Shit, M/M, Sam Ships It, Supportive Sam Winchester, Sweet Sam Winchester, Switch Castiel, Switch Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:59:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 59,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crossroads_Castiel/pseuds/Crossroads_Castiel
Summary: CONTAINS SEASON 12 SPOILERSDean is crushed when his mother leaves them and calls on Castiel to come home when he needs him most. This leads Dean and Castiel to explore what family and home mean to them and decide what is really important. Castiel and Dean make their feelings known to one another and they have to decide where to go from there. They must go up against Lucifer and their own insecurities to find out where they belong.





	1. Homeward Bound

**Author's Note:**

> This Fic is my first, and based off of Season 12. There will be eventual smut in due time. I have more written and will be uploading as I get it proofread and finalized.
> 
> YES. I use the shortened version, Cass vs. Cas, since it is the canonically written way. I understand not everyone likes or wants to read fics with it spelled that way, so fair warning XD

Dean’s hands shook in the dim light of the kitchen as he fiddled with his phone again. He sat propped up against the kitchen counter, two empty beer bottles lined up beside his right knee and a third half empty within arm’s reach. He rubbed his free hand along the scruff of his chin, shaving not a priority after the disastrous turn the evening had taken. His pointer finger mindlessly clicked on the contact tab and instantly to Favorites. That same traitorous finger hovered over the little icon with “Castiel” underneath it. He never could convince the guy to let him snap a picture for the icon, though he had tried. A deep sigh escaped his chest as he tapped on the icon and Message. Keep it simple Dean...  
“Mom left. She said she needs time..Whatever that means.”  
He hit send before he could change his mind, and then laid the phone down. There was no use expecting a quick reply since Cass was out doing who-knows-what, trying to catch friggin’ Lucifer. Dean knew Castiel had pushed that lead to be something so he could give the Winchester family time together. Crap lot of good that had done and now Cass was gone too. His head sagged back against the counter as his eyes drooped closed. Mechanically he reached for the open beer and pressed the familiar glass rim against his lips, barely wetting them before heaving a tired sigh and setting the bottle back down on the floor.  
\--------------------------------  
Castiel glanced briefly down at his phone as the screen lit up with an incoming text from Dean. His sky blue eyes glared at Crowley as the black-clad demon craned his neck to the left to see the phone as well. If looks could kill Cass thought wistfully. He dragged in a ragged breath as he read Dean’s succinct text away from Crowley’s eye line. He looked in his rear view and signaled he was pulling over before gently pulling onto the gravel roadside and putting the truck in park. Castiel’s slender fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel, the only sign of agitation he would allow the annoying demon beside him the pleasure of seeing.  
“Something wrong Cassie? Did little Deano fall down the well? Need to run home and save your master?” Crowley smirked and wiggled his eyebrows annoyingly. Everything about the Demon-who-would-be-King was annoying him of late.

“Shut up,” Castiel croaked out through clenched teeth. To commit any extra words to Crowley would be a waste of energy. “I need to return to the bunker…and to be clear; this is me not inviting you to follow along. You can get out here. I’ll call you when I am ready to pursue Lucifer again.” Castiel leaned across Crowley to open the passenger door and shove it open.

Crowley held his hands over his heart in mock hurt and gasped. “Really Castiel? I thought we had formed a bond, you and I. Maybe when you call next time I won’t answer. Now run along home to your boyfriend...” The scent of sulfur assaulted Castiel’s nose as Crowley poofed from the car. Cass leaned over to slam the door, picked up his phone, and tapped out a short reply that read “I’m heading your way. Be there as soon as I can.”

Castiel carefully merged back onto the highway and changed course for the bunker and his Winchesters.  
\------------------------------

Dean glanced down at his phone as it buzzed loudly against the kitchen tile. He snatched it up, not knowing if Sammy had gone to his room or was still in the library burying his face in a book. Sam didn’t need to know he had texted Cass like a brokenhearted teenager. He read Castiel’s text and immediately felt mutual guilt and relief; guilt that Cass was breaking off his search for Lucifer to come help Dean through his pathetic excuse for a family crisis, and relief that he was coming home. He briefly considered calling and telling him it wasn’t necessary, that he would be fine like always, however this time his own selfishness won out and he responded with a short message. 

“See you then. Drive safe.” 

It was a lame response and Dean knew it. He rolled his eyes at himself, knowing Castiel could walk away from the worst of any car accident but what else was there to say? They would talk more when he got here. Dean sighed and took another sip of his beer. He wanted to ask how far away he was, thank him for coming home to help, tell him to hurry. Instead, Dean used the counter to pull himself up and pressed his free hand to his lower back and stretched his stiff muscles. He then scooped up the empty bottles and gently placed them on the counter before swallowing the last of the third bottle and deciding to try to rest his eyes a bit. They felt dry and abused from the tears he had shed in private after Mom had walked out. He slowly made his way to the bathroom to prepare for bed and for a hopefully better tomorrow.  
\---------------------------------

Not being able to use his wings was becoming increasingly frustrating. Empty, early morning road stretched out before him but Cass didn’t dare speed much over the posted limit. It was always complicated when he got pulled over and couldn’t provide ID that didn’t have some silly last name Dean thought would be funny to give him. It seemed to always end with him having to render the officer unconscious and he had started to feel bad about how many times he had left an innocent officer passed out helplessly on the side of road. It was better to creep over the speed limit but he was gritting his teeth in frustration to be back at the bunker. He knew Dean and his “coping mechanisms”. There would be alcohol, self-loathing, maybe some bar hopping for a girl…or two. Something about that made Cass grip the wheel tighter and huff in frustration and lean his foot a bit heavier on the gas pedal. Almost there.


	2. Where do you belong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel makes it to the bunker but doesn't know what to expect of the heartbroken Winchesters. He reveals the talk he had with Mary, which does not sit well with Dean.

Castiel pulled the pickup truck into the bunker garage, far enough away from Dean’s Impala that it’s mere presence wouldn’t offend. Dean did seem to prefer this to his previous vehicle of choice, which pleased Castiel. He stepped out and ran his hands down his trench coat to smooth out the wrinkles from the drive as best he could. He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling..what? Was this nervousness? Yes. He took a deep breath and ventured into the bunker, not knowing what state he would find the Winchesters in. 

It was still early when he arrived but Sam was usually up by this time. Castiel scanned the library upon entering and he found the youngest Winchester asleep with his head on the table, a book open beside him. Sam’s hand was still clutching the edge of the book, like he fell asleep mid-sentence. The way the tall man was hunched uncomfortably on his chair was what made Cass decide to wake him. He had learned it was best not to startle a Winchester so he stood on the other side of the table and leaned over to speak to Sam loudly enough to, he hoped, awaken but not startle. 

“Sam. It’s Castiel. Why not go to your room to sleep? You don’t appear to be very comfortable in your current location.” Castiel’s voice came out a bit louder than he intended but it did the job. Sam lifted his head up from the table quickly and made eye contact with the Angel. He squinted at him, confused. He shoved hair out of his eyes.

“Cass..what are you doing here? I thought you were busy chasing Lucifer.” 

Castiel visually assessed the younger Winchester. His eyes seemed to be a bit bloodshot but he did not detect any hint of alcohol on his breath. He had a red mark on his face from where he had rested his face on the table as he slept but otherwise seemed fine. 

“Dean texted me last night. He told what happened with your mother, the abbreviated version. I came to help if I could. I know I’m not much help but…I felt I should be here.” Castiel stammered out while rubbing the back of his neck and not making eye contact with Sam. He knew the Winchesters called him a brother but he didn’t want to overstep his bounds or make them think he could in any way replace what they had lost. They called him family but he wasn’t sure.. He just didn’t know what else to say or do. Sam nodded his head to himself once then looked at Cass as he blinked the sleep from his eyes and stood up stiffly from his chair.  
“I’m glad he texted you..surprised..but glad. We didn’t talk at all after mom left last night. He..he took it hard, Cass. He wouldn’t even let her hug him goodbye. I’m..trying to understand. I know what it’s like to need space from your family, but she just got here. I doubt Dean will want to tell you this, but she said she missed the Heaven versions of us…as children. We can’t compete with ourselves, Cass." Sam sighed heavily and flinched at the stiffness in his neck. Castiel leaned over with an outstretched hand and lightly touched Sam’s shoulder and the stiffness blinked away.

“Thanks man. I’m sorry you got dragged into our family drama again,” Sam chuckled lightly, “but you ARE family so I guess you’re used to it by now. Thanks for being here..for both of us. I heard Dean go into his room last night so I guess he’s still there. I’m going to go take a shower.” Sam shuffled off, his usual demeanor somehow lessened, like he was folded in upon himself. Castiel took all of us this in within a moment and knew Sam was hiding his pain better than usual, but Cass could see it burning just beneath the surface. Eight years spent with these two taught him how to see when the brothers were REALLY in trouble. If Sam was this defeated, how was Dean going to be? Angry? Locked down? Pretending and throwing himself into all his distractions? Only one way to find out…  
\-------------------------------

Castiel walked down the hall to Dean’s room, where the door was open a crack. Soft light spilled out into the hall. Dean usually closed his door completely when he was sleeping. He nudged the door open lightly. Dean was stretched out on the bed with his arms behind his head but he was not asleep. His eyes immediately locked with Castiel’s and Cass could see the sadness brewing under the surface. He gave a lopsided smile and said his typical, “Hello Dean.”  
Dean sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed, still clad in his jeans and shirt from the day before, no motivation had come to him to dress for sleep he knew wouldn't come. He propped his elbows on his knees, his back slightly bowed, and rolled his head to the right to look at Cass. “Hey buddy…thanks for coming. “ 

Castiel smiled sadly at his friend. “I may not be as quick to arrive when you call me these days, but I will still always come when you call…or text. “ He cocked his head to the side and `stared for just a moment. Dean’s eyes met his before Dean coughed nervously and stood up. Castiel took two tentative steps forward and that put him within arm’s reach. Suddenly he had an arm full of Dean Winchester…hugging him. Cass shyly put his arms around Dean and hugged him back, knowing Dean would back peddle any moment and laugh it off as was his typical fashion. 

“She’ll come back Dean. She’ll come back to you,” Castiel said quietly as Dean clung to him like a frightened child. Dean’s reply was so soft that Cass almost missed it.

“How do you know?”

“Those that love you always return to you, one way or another. You and your brother earn the utmost devotion from those that know you. Your mom is no different and she will return in time,” Castiel hesitantly pulled away to look Dean in the eyes and make sure he was hearing him. “ She WILL come back. She’s just confused right now. She and I talked the night before I left…I..hoped me leaving and giving you family time would help. I’m sorry..”

Dean’s eyes fell to the floor after Castiel pulled away, blinking away the tears that were trying to escape. Castiel’s words fell weighted and heavy on him. His eyes shot back up from the floor when Cass said he had spoken to Mary. This was news to him.

“What did she say to you?! Did we do something wrong? I know she didn't understand a lot of what we did but we were trying...” Dean’s voice betrayed him and cracked with grief. Dean realized he was still gripping Cass’s arms when he felt him tense as he asked him about Mary. Castiel sighed and put both hands up to cup Dean’s face and make him look at him. He knew physical touch made Dean uncomfortable but he had to make sure he was going to hear what he had to say.

“Dean Winchester! You did NOTHING wrong! Your love and devotion to your mother is nothing if not awe inspiring, considering she was only here for four years of your life to earn it. She simply asked me how long it took for me to feel like I fit in here..like I belonged. I think she was looking for some reassurance as to her place on earth..instead of Heaven.” Castiel dropped his hands from Dean’s face and stepped away from him so Dean would release his arms he probably didn’t even realize he was still holding. He could feel Dean’s green eyes staring at him, though he would not meet them. Castiel fixed his crooked tie and fiddled with the hem of his coat as he said, “I don’t think I was the right person for her to confide her insecurities to.” He braved a glance at Dean’s face and saw Dean’s eyes slightly narrowed and focused on him, arms suddenly crossing his chest. 

“What was your answer Cass?” Dean said the words with heat behind them. Castiel ignored him and continued to fidget with his coat hem. “Damn it Cass! What did you say?” Castiel’s blue eyes suddenly shot up to meet Dean’s, newfound bravery in the truth. 

“I told her I still wasn’t sure I did belong, but I told her she DID! She’s your blood, of course she does!” Castiel’s voice was rising, trying to assure Dean he did everything he could to convince Mary she was where she belonged. He worried Dean would blame him for her departure and he wasn’t sure he could stand it. 

“What do you mean you’re not sure you belong here?!” Castiel’s eye widened at the loud exclamation from Dean. That was not what he had expected to get chastised for. He tilted his head in his typical way when something puzzled him and his forehead scrunched up. 

“I mean..Dean..let’s be honest. I’ve never fit here. I don’t get many of your references. I don’t understand your complicated social cues and rules, as you have pointed out time and again. I’m not Angel enough to belong in Heaven, if they’d even have me back, and I’m not human enough to belong on earth.." Castiel cleared his throat and stood rigidly." I didn’t come here to discuss this Dean. I came to try to be of help and it seems I’m doing the opposite. I should go.” Cass dropped his hands to his sides and made for the door. He knew thinking he could help with something like this was not going to end well. He just wasn’t any good at this kind of stuff. His back was to Dean when he heard a growl of a response. 

“So you’re just going to walk out too huh? Figures.” Cass froze. The despair and anger in Dean’s tone made him shudder and turn around. Dean had walked to the chair next to his bed and plopped down, his head held in his hands. 

“Dean..please. It’s not like that. I just seem to be making it worse. I don’t want to cause you more pain. I've done that enough.” Dean wouldn’t look at Cass at all so he stepped back into the room and sat down on the bed, as near to Dean as he dared. He leaned over and put a hand on Dean’s knee and squeezed lightly. “I’m not going anywhere if you don't want me to go. I’m here. As long as you need.” He went to remove his hand when Dean let go of his head and grasped his wrist. 

“Just…don’t walk out like that. I know you can’t stay here all the time but its home for you isn’t it? Have we not made it feel like your home? I thought after I asked you to leave that time I had made it clear…you belong with us. We're family right? Sam and me…we need you Cass. Neither of us is any good at talking to each other about all this crap but I can talk to you. I know Sam talks to you too. You get it, or you try…but I can’t deal with losing mom and worrying you’re gonna walk out that door one day and not come back because you don’t think you belong here. I mean...we gave you your own room.” Dean laughed a little. “I know you don’t sleep or anything but we thought you’d get the gesture. What it meant. I’m sorry we haven’t been clearer. Sam and me…we want you here, when you can be.... We’re tired of it just being he and I against the world. It doesn’t have to be that way anymore. I think we're both tired of that actually.” Dean seemed to come to a realization and nodded to himself. “ And we’ll keep mom’s room ready for when she’s able to be here too. Once she’s worked all her Winchester baggage out and decided to come home, we’ll be waiting for her too.” Dean hesitated before adding as he looked up into Castiel’s face, “and I...and Sam…we’re gonna help you work through all your Winchester baggage too. I mean, you have to be a Winchester. Your emotional baggage matches ours.” Dean snorted at his own cleverness and smirked at Cass. 

Castiel knew Dean could never understand what that conversation meant to him. Dean had called him family, again. Dean had actually asked him to make the bunker his home and called him a Winchester.It didn’t completely fill the emptiness he felt but it made him feel warm inside. Castiel hoped his face could even partially convey the thankfulness he felt at Dean’s surprisingly lengthy heart-to-heart. 

“Dean...thank you. It figures I come here to try to help you and you end up trying to help me. That’s just your way…” Cass shook his head warmly at Dean. Dean smiled and dropped Castiel’s wrist somewhat reluctantly. Castiel cleared his throat and clapped his hands together in a very human gesture of trying to shake off the awkwardness. “Now...what can I do to help you Dean? I can cook…well I can pretty much only make sandwiches but I can go get food for you both or find something on the Netflix for us to watch.” 

“Just stay with me a bit huh? I didn’t sleep much last night and I'm tired...but I don’t want to be alone. How about you tell me about how it goes on the hunt with Lucifer? Just don’t be offended if I fall asleep huh?” Dean toed off his shoes and socks and stretched out on the far side of the bed on the one pillow. Castiel prepared to sit in the chair and talk when Dean patted the empty spot beside him on the full bed then stammered out, “I mean I won’t be able to hear all your amazing exploits all the way over there, and I just don’t feel like being alone right now…I mean, if your okay with it. I promise not to make any sexual advances” Dean laughed loudly as he raised one eyebrow at Castiel’s slightly taken aback face. “And lose the shoes. I don’t need pickup truck crud on my sheets,” Dean added as an afterthought. 

Castiel stiffly removed his dress shoes but left his black socks on, then shrugged out of his trench coat and suit jacket and leaned against the headboard. There was a gap of space between them of about 6 inches as Castiel began to tell Dean about his hunt for Lucifer, being Agent Beyonce, and teaming up with Crowley. Dean laughed out loud at Agent Beyonce and swore he would write him out a list of Dean approved musical alias ASAP but he seemed to get moodier when Cass brought up Crowley. By the time Cass got to Rowena blasting Lucifer to the bottom on the ocean, he noticed Dean’s breathing pattern had changed. He looked over and Dean’s eyes were indeed closed and his face relaxed. Cass thought about getting up and at least going to the chair or checking on Sam, but decided against it and closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Deans breathing, which was as close to peaceful sleep as he had experienced since he was human in the bunker before Dean had told him to go. No. He wouldn’t dwell on that. He was here, watching over Dean and the Winchesters were going to be okay. He couldn’t ask for much more.


	3. It's OUR Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters and Castiel spend a day in the bunker relaxing. Dean and Sam convince Castiel to let them join the hunt for Lucifer while Castiel suspects they are hiding something from him.

The clock on the wall read at almost noon when Castiel felt Dean begin to stir beside him. Cass had enjoyed the quiet down time for reflection as he laid stone-still beside Dean. He remained still as Dean awoke so as not to startle him in case he had expected him to move to the chair once he fell asleep. Dean had rolled over on his right side, away from Cass, as he slept. He now rolled over onto his back and looked to his left at the Angel in his bed. Castiel had seen Dean awaken many times in the hotel rooms they shared or when he awoke him to alert him to some new threat, but today Dean was different. There was no pressing matters to attend to, no new threats, and Dean actually looked well rested. The constant shadows under his eyes were a bit diminished. 

“What time is it?” were the first words Dean spoke, a bit raspy still from sleep. He ran his fingers through his hair and glanced at the clock. “Damn! I haven’t slept that long in a while. Guess I was more tired than I thought. Thanks.... for staying.” Dean shifted awkwardly and threw his legs off the side of the bed and stretched. Castiel took the cue and threw his legs off the bed and stood up as well. He slipped back into his shoes and grabbed his jacket and trench. Dean looked over suspiciously. 

“ Going somewhere today? I didn’t snore or drool enough to scare you away already did I?” Dean joked but his face remained devoid of humor. Castiel sighed internally. Dean was always masking his true feelings with snarky comments. 

“No Dean. I thought I would spend a few days here before continuing my Lucifer hunt. I believe Crowley is still pursuing his leads and I will contact him today to see where he stands. I do not look forward to joining back up with him, but he is the “lesser of the evils” I suppose.” Castiel looked wistful as he said, “I can always smite him after we catch Lucifer..” and let a hint of a smile form as he heard Dean laugh loudly. He went to shrug on his jacket when Dean stopped him. 

“Dude…the layers. If your going to hang out here for a few days, why not dress it down a little? You know...live a little. Here..” Dean picked up the jacket and trench coat and hung them in his closet. “So they don’t get wrinkled. You can always get them before you head out again. I mean, “ Dean rubbed the back of neck then scratched his face before he continued. “ I know you said you don’t sweat and changing clothes isn’t really something you have to do but changing things up a little can be a good thing.”

Castiel wanted to say if it made Dean happy he would be glad to hang up the trench coat for a while, even if he felt naked without it. What he said instead was, “If you insist. I..um..probably should check in with Crowley and then we can do whatever you would like today.” 

“Sounds good. I think I’m gonna get a shower then fix us all something to eat if Sammy hasn’t beaten me to it.” He clapped Castiel on the back before grabbing some clothes out of his drawers and heading out toward the bathroom. Castiel pulled his phone from his pocket and took a deep, calming breath before dialing up Crowley, determined not to let him get under his skin.   
\---------------------------------------------------  
When Dean walked into the kitchen, fully dressed but barefoot with damp, tousled hair and the towel still draped around his neck, he couldn’t help but smile at the sheer domesticness of the sight before him. Sam and Cass were both leaned over what appeared to be a cookbook with the ingredients strewn about them on the counter. Sam didn’t look as bad as he had when they parted company the night before and he was actually laughing at something Castiel had said. Dean was immediately drawn to Cass’ face as he entered. Their eyes met for a moment, Cass’ having those crow’s feet he got when he smiled. That had been so few and far between lately.... Neither were what Dean would call good cooks so it was the blind leading the blind so Dean thought he better supervise. He padded over and threw an arm over each of them, the height difference making him stand a bit crooked even while his moose of a brother was leaned over. “What great masterpiece am I interrupting the production of?” 

Sam showed a bit of surprise on his face at Dean’s seemingly light hearted mood but then smiled softly and said, “We wanted to make a real pie. It was Cass’s idea..” Sam trailed off with a grin. “We were checking out ingredients before we decided what kind to make.”

Dean felt a big grin stretch across his face and said, “Well hell it’s a good thing you waited on me. I am the pie expert after all. Let’s start with a classic. Apple!” Dean rubbed his hands together happily like a kid on Christmas morning. “Man, never made my own pie before. This is awesome. We won’t even have to go to the store since Sammy here keeps such a good stock of rabbit food and fruit!”   
\---------------------------------------------------  
The three men were seated around the furniture of the tv room watching some cheesy horror movie on Netflix, empty plates with pie crumbs and forks placed on them, when Cass’ phone rang. He groaned when he looked at the screen and saw “Crowley” on the caller ID. He excused himself and stepped into the library so as not to disturb the movie. 

“What? Isn’t one obligatory phone call a day quite enough?” Castiel snapped irritably. He had been enjoying the movie even if it’s depiction of demon possession was way off the mark. 

“Oh Cassie are you on your lady days? Calm down. I’ll make it quick. There’s been no public sightings posted today but I’ve got mother working on a spell to at least narrow down what part of the bloody ocean she cast him to. Once she is successful I’ll need back up, if you’ll be done playing house by then. Since you ARE the one responsible for letting Lucifer out, I expect you to be my back up. I’ll contact you tomorrow.” Click. Castiel glared at the phone like it was the one who was offensive to him and slid it back in his pocket. He made his way back to the tv room, his mood a bit diminished thinking about having to leave in a day or two. As he walked in, Sam and Dean quickly began talking loudly about the movie and leaning away from one another. Had they been talking about him? Castiel raised an eyebrow and placed himself back on the small couch next to Dean. Dean was definitely closer to Castiel’s side of the couch than he had been when he left, not scooting completely back to his side when Cass had interrupted them. Their arms brushed against one another but neither pulled away. It was not an unpleasant sensation for Cass and without his coat and jacket in the way, he could feel the heat of Dean’s arm against his own. 

Without prompting Cas explained, “That was Crowley. He has Rowena trying to nail down Lucifer’s location. Once they have it, they will need my assistance once again..” Cas could feel Dean lean away as he said the words. “I am the one that set Lucifer free..I have to do my part to put him back, Dean.” Castiel's voice begged for Dean to understand. 

Dean and Sam both looked at each other and Sam nodded encouragingly toward Dean, bidding him to speak. After a moment of glaring at one another, Dean spoke. “Yeah, we get that Cass. Totally. However, who said you had to do it alone?” He choked on the next word just a moment before continuing, “Mo…Mom’s not here in need of watching over, and we don’t have an active case to work on. Why not let us help? Family remember? Family helps each other. We want to help.” Dean put his hand on Cass’ shoulder and squeezed lightly, the weight of his words being given emphasis.

Castiel looked from Sam to Dean. He thought out his words before he spoke. “I..I know you want to help. It would be a breath of fresh air after having to be stuck with Crowley…but it’s my mess, and if either of you were seriously hurt because of my mess…”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Dude. It’s not your mess. Yes, you let Lucifer out this time but why was he out? To stop the Darkness. Why was the Darkness let out? Because I had to go and get that stupid Mark of Cain without asking about the consequences, and Sam is the one who coerced you into helping remove it in the first place. It’s OUR mess. Winchesters remember? We work as a team. We watch out for each other.” Sam didn’t say anything but nodded his head along with Dean’s argument. Castiel shot a long look at Sam. For Sam to agree to pursue Lucifer was one of the braver things he had done. Cass knew more than anyone what Lucifer had done to Sam’s head. He would never understand where his Winchesters got their bravery from. He shook his head in resignation and said, “Very well. I will text Crowley that our hunting party has grown. Not sure how he’s going to feel about it….but I really, really don’t care.”  
\---------------------------  
After the credits rolled on the movie and Cass had had a heated text debate with Crowley on Sam and Dean joining the hunt, Sam suddenly decided he was going out to get some supplies. Cass offered to go with him but both brothers said , “No!” at the same time. Castiel gave them a suspicious glare but shrugged it away. Dean grabbed Cass’ wrist and drug him toward the kitchen.

“You guys did such a good job on the pie, I think I need to teach you to really cook. We’ll start with something easy that I know you liked before. Hamburgers!” Castiel watched Sam scurry away as he was led to the kitchen and commanded to wash his hands before they got started. Castiel smiled happily just to be included and did as he was told.   
\---------------------------  
About two hours later, Dean and Castiel were in the tv room when Cass heard Sam come in through the bunker door. He sounded loaded down with bags but Dean insisted Sam could haul his own loads. Two empty plates were on the table in front of the couch. Dean was complaining about having the meat sweats, which after eating two burgers and two beers, seemed justified to Cass. Castiel had enjoyed his one burger and beer even if it didn’t taste as good as when he was human. He did enjoy the social aspect of eating with humans, especially his friends. He and Dean were watching another mindless movie again, this time a comedy about a zombie apocalypse. Castiel had commented upon many of the inaccuracies until Dean nudged him and reminded him it was a comedy, not a documentary. Cass could hear Sam banging around in the bedroom area but Dean assured him he was fine and to watch the movie. His phone had been blessedly silent so he did just as Dean asked and did find himself laughing at the movie once he got past the ridiculousness of it. If there was one thing he could thank Metatron for it was the popular culture "injection" as Dean had called it. He actually got some of these jokes. He caught Dean glancing over at him every time he laughed out loud, his eyes lighting up at Cass’ reactions. Sam did eventually come back to join them with one of the burgers they had left for him that he had heated up. Castiel noticed a conspiritual nod between the two and his eyes darted between them. There was no telling what those two were up to.


	4. A Place to Lay My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam surprise Castiel. One surprise leads to another as Dean and Castiel find themselves in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut yet...but I promise it's coming! The first kiss is finally here!

Dean and Sam both were fading fast. Both were stretching and yawning as soon as the credits rolled on the last movie. Castiel got all the dishes balanced in one hand and scooped up the necks of the beer bottles in the other and took them to the kitchen. When he came back, both brothers were up from their seats and exchanging a few words. Dean clapped Sam on the shoulder and brought him in for a quick, one armed hug. Castiel knew they had been discussing their mother from the snippets he heard as he walked in. Castiel was pleased at their progress. The fact that the two were actually discussing their problems instead of hiding it in a bottle or a book was very good progress indeed. Sam said his goodnights and shuffled off to prepare for bed. 

“So,um, goodnight Dean. I will probably just do some reading in the library or maybe continue some Netflix..” Castiel stood awkwardly, wishing he had his trenchcoat to hide his nervous posture. 

“Oh…” Dean looked into Cass’ face then looked at the floor, slight disappointment flashing across his face. “I mean, I’d be okay with you coming and talking to me some more…I mean you’ve been around so long…You’ve got to have some interesting stories. I can’t believe you’ve never told me any. I mean…if you want.” Dean shuffled from foot to foot and stuffed his hands in his pockets nervously. Castiel smiled shyly. 

“If you want me to Dean. I do have some interesting stories about the Neanderthals.”

They walked together toward Dean’s room. Dean grabbed some navy blue pajama pants and his favorite grey t-shirt to sleep in and ducked out of the room to change in the bathroom and brush his teeth. Castiel glanced between the bed and the chair, not knowing whether to resume their previous nights' arrangement. He did not want to be presumptuous. He slipped off his shoes, loosened his tie for something to do with his hands, and was sitting on the edge of the bed when Dean came back in. He was changed for bed with another pillow in his hand. Dean held the pillow out like an offering, no words needed as he shrugged nonchalantly. Castiel took it from his outstretched hands and put it on the empty spot on "his" the bed before lying back against it and crossing his arms behind his head. Dean padded over to the other side of the bed and laid at the edge of his side, but lying on his left side so he could look at Castiel. 

“ Sam and I…we really like having you here buddy. You know..we laugh more when you’re here. It’s more fun. Like a real family, one we never got to have... you know what I mean. Thanks for that.” Castiel smiled warmly at Dean, flashing his pearly white teeth. 

“I feel the same sentiment Dean. Being here makes me feel almost…human, but in a good way. Thank you for giving me a home…both of you. It’s been so long since I felt I had somewhere I belonged..was accepted instead of reviled.' Cas hung the last word and pinched his mouth tight for a moment. "An Angel cannot walk with one foot in Heaven and one foot on Earth I have been told..and I've been trying to do that I suppose....” Cass trailed off of that thought and cleared his throat, “So…the Neanderthals. I’ve mentioned how beautiful their poetry was, but let me tell you about…”

Sam walked by Dean’s room as Cass was talking about home. He smiled to himself and made his way down the hall to a much unused bedroom, holding a bundle in his arms. A few minutes later he left and went to bed himself, feeling lighter and happier than he had in a while.  
\-------------------------------------------------  
The next morning was less awkward than the morning before. Dean had stayed facing Cass as he droned on about Neanderthal poetry and art. Castiel had tugged the coverlet over Dean’s shoulders after that he had fallen asleep. Cass tried not to stare, he really did. However, you know what they say about old habits. Dean had mumbled in his sleep after he had been out for about two hours. Most was not coherent but one word was “mom”…and another had been Castiel’s name. It hadn’t been said in an abnormal way. As a matter of fact he looked over at Dean because it sounded just the way he said it all the time. “Cass…” and then nothing. He didn’t know what to think about that but he was certainly not going to bring it up. 

Dean’s eyes fluttered open and he smiled as he and Cass’ eyes met. “Mornin…” Dean sat up and propped against the head board. He ran his hand through his bedhead and took in Castiel's pristine hair and unwrinkled clothes, like he had not moved all night. 

“You know I never asked you. Do you miss sleeping...and ,you know, dreaming? I know you had to when you were human. It can’t be very interesting sitting still for 6 hours waiting on me to wake up.” Dean crossed his legs indian-style and looked expectantly at Cass. 

“Well yes and no….Since I was…in unfamiliar places...being hunted... I didn’t like letting my guard down to sleep. I didn’t feel safe. It was always very difficult for me to fall asleep.” Castiel sighed as Dean cast his eyes down, once again blaming himself for kicking Cass out of the bunker. Castiel leaned his head down to try to get Dean to look at him. Blue eyes met green. Dean looked up tensely as Cass continued talking. “However, I did enjoy the times I had good dreams. It’s almost like Heaven, where I could get a break from the world and my human troubles. Angels really have nothing of equal measure to dreams. You can be whoever you want, do whatever you please, in dreams. I do miss that. I think I would enjoy sleeping and dreaming now if I was here at home, with you..”Cass’ words were rewarded with a grin from Dean. 

“Do you dream much Dean?” Cass asked nervously, since Dean had broached the subject first. 

Dean’s smile diminished just slightly and he said, “Yeah every night but I never remember what it was about. I guess in one ear and out the othere. Hah.” Dean shrugged and got up, pulled his sleep shirt over his head and basketball shot it into the hamper, shooting a grin at Cass as it made it in, before grabbing a new set of clothes and heading to change. Castiel could not help but let his eyes linger just a moment on Dean’s back as he shot the shirt into the hamper, then he practically jumped off the bed, slipped his shoes on, and almost ran for the kitchen. He literally ran into Sam in the doorway as he was hit with a face full of flannel. 

“Oof! Morning Cass.” Sam chuckled. “I was just about to make some coffee and us some breakfast. Let Dean be a 12 year old and eat his sugar cereal. You and I…we’re cooking bacon!” Sam smiled conspiritually at Cass and as if the smile was contagious, Cass smiled fondly back. 

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Still can’t believe you jerks didn’t save me any bacon. “ Dean was still grumbling an hour after they had finished breakfast. 

“Well if you didn’t spend so long making your hair spike just so in the mirror maybe there would have been some left,” Sam taunted back before winking at Cass. 

"it was an interesting texture. I am sure it would be quite delicious if I was human. I hear people talk so much about bacon," Castiel added as an afterthought, gripping his hands around his now lukewarm coffee and looking from one brother to another as they bantered. He was feeling much like one of those tennis balls in the matches he watched in the early mornings. As the banter came to an end, Sam stood up and said he had to go take care of a few chores and would be back in a bit. Dean gestured with his chin for Cass to follow him to the tv room and Dean plopped down lazily on the couch while Cass perched on the edge. 

“So have you heard from Crowley about when this Easter Egg Hunt from Hell starts?” Dean asked as he leaned back and sipped at his cup of coffee that Cass couldn’t help but notice was the same striking green as his eyes. He shook his head away from those distracting thoughts. 

“ Not yet today. Rowena must not have yet nailed down the location. I am more than sure that Crowley will call me as soon as he has something to tell. He seems to take great joy in annoying me.”

“ Man, don’t you see it? Crowley’s jealous. He’s ostrasized from Hell, his own mother hates him, and he’s got no friends. Not that I feel sorry for him I mean... he’s hurt too many of the people I care about for me to feel very bad for him, but I get it. He sees you, someone in a similar position, except you got us. He might have even hoped you could be friends…” Dean trailed off and gripped his mug a little tighter.

“ I am an Angel of the Lord…even a poor excuse of one doesn’t befriend a demon.” Castiel said with a bit more venom in his tone than he intended. He then glanced at Dean when he realized how Dean might take that. Dean's eyes narrowed minutely but Castiel saw it. “Dean..I didn’t mean you. You couldn’t help what happened to you….and…your different. I would make an exception for you in all things.” Dean and Cass locked eyes and their hands inched toward one another without their knowledge until a throat clearing in the doorway broke them from their trance. 

“Hey guys…umm..if I’m not interrupting anything, Dean and I have something to show you Cass. Come with me.” Sam smiled warmly and looked between the two before heading down the bedroom wing of the bunker. Castiel followed along behind Dean, confused but intrigued. They walked past Sam’s door, then Dean’s, onto what had been dubbed Cass’ room though he had rarely ever used it. He took a breath as he looked at the door and instead of the Men Of Letters symbol that was on Sam and Dean’s doors, a small plaque with CASTIEL engraved in Enochian and a pair of wings was placed on his door. He ran his hands over it, enjoying seeing something so familiar to him. He looked over at the two brothers and smiled. Sam and Dean matched his smile, like the cats that ate the canary.

“No chick flick moments…now open the door you idiot.” Dean smirked at him. Castiel turned the knob to his room and he could not believe the change. Before this room looked more like a storage room with a bed shoved in it. There had been stacks of boxed files and old books everywhere. Now it looked like..home. The bed had been made with a sky blue comforter and two pillows. The desk was cleaned off and had a desk lamp letting out a soft glow with several of Cass’ favorite books from the library scattered on it. The nightstand had a cd player and stacks of cds with a pair of headphones. In the open doors to the closet he saw his jacket and trench coat. He walked over and ran his hands over the other clothes in the closet. A small but eeemingly versatile collection of different colored dress shirts and pants hung there. There were several ties of varying colorrs hanging from a tie rack. Out of curiosity he opened a dresser drawer, and it had pajama pants, sleep shirts, and boxers. The last thing Cass saw was little toy harp on the dresser top. He rolled his eyes and looked straight at Dean. 

“Really? A harp?” Cass cracked a lopsided smile and rolled his eyes. 

“I mean…you kept saying you didn’t have one. I figured I’d get you one.” Dean winked at him and laughed loudly. “Look, Sam and I talked and we know you don’t need any of this stuff..but..we want this to be your home. I don’t mind you bunking in my room, but on burrito nights you might need a safe haven.” Sam nodded grimly at Cass before breaking into a grin as well. 

“Cass,you’ve done so much for us over all these years,and we want you to be happy here. You’re family. Our family.” Sam clapped Cass on the shoulder and Castiel surprised him by hugging him. He then released Sam and hugged Dean as well. Their hug lingered a bit longer than his and Sam’s did but broke up when Cass asked..”Who picked out the music collection?” 

Dean smiled proudly. “Me of course. Sammy’s taste sucks. You’ll learn to love it, if it kills me. Sammy did!” Sam groaned and left the room to seek solitude before shooting Cass an apologetic look. Cass sat on the bed and flipped through the cds. Dean took that cue to sit closely beside him and tell him about each artist, their best song, and when he first remembered hearing his dad play them in the impala. Castiel smiled over at Dean as he talked about each band and let his eyes linger there. Dean caught his eye and laughed.

“What? If I can listen to you talk about dead guy poetry, you should be able to listen to me talk about old school rock! It’s…not that different I guess huh. Kind of funny.” Dean looked thoughtful for a moment then looked back at Cass,who was staring intently at a cd in his hand. "What? Is that one you don't like?" 

Castiel laid the cd case aside and gave Dean a close mouthed smile. “No, it’s just….I’m just…happy.. I guess is the word.” He shrugged before glancing back shyly at Dean. “I can’t remember the last time I felt so at peace. Even with Lucifer being out looming ahead of me, I haven’t felt this peace in a long time. Thank you Dean…thank you both.” 

Dean wrapped his left arm around Cass’ shoulder. “We feel the same way, Sammy and I. We miss mom, but we both know she’ll be back, when she's ready to be part of our family. There’s no new Big Bad showing it’s face. Used to I would have hated the down time, would have been scouring the papers for a case. I still do...every morning…but lately I’ve been okay with calling in other hunters to check it out.” Dean dropped his arm from around Cass and brought his hands to his lap to fiddle with a speck of dirt under his thumbnail. “I mean, retirements not really in the cards for a hunter but maybe you, Sam, and I can enjoy ourselves once in a while. Maybe it doesn’t have to be dire peril all the time. Or maybe I’m just getting old.” Dean glanced over at Cass after he was done, nervous that his lengthy confession would not be taken well. 

Castiel lightly held Dean’s right hand is both of his as he spoke again. “Dean, there is nothing wrong with being willing to let other people do the job sometimes. You and Sam, you’ve been doing this since you were children. You deserve the chance to do things that bring you joy and peace….and you most certainly don’t look old to me.” Castiel let go of Dean’s hand and placed his own on the older Winchesters face, barely moving this thumb against the light layer of scruff on Dean’s cheek. “When I look at you I still see the same face as the angry man who stabbed me in a barn after I told him I saved him from Hell. “ Dean huffed indignantly at the reminder and leaned his face into Castiel’s hand a fraction. “The only difference I see is that same man, he’s not as angry as he used to be, and that makes me feel happy too.” Their eyes locked and it felt as if both were standing on a ledge and deciding who would jump first. Dean leaned toward Cass, never breaking eye contact.

“Well, your sorta to blame for a lot of that you know. Always there for me. My guardian Angel” Dean brought his right hand up to mimick Castiel’s hand on his own face and placed it on the other man’s cheek. Dean’s breathing quickened and Cass froze, afraid to do something wrong and break up this moment. He all but held his breath as Dean leaned in further and his eyes slid closed. He breathed a small kiss on Castiel’s lips then placed one on his forehead before leaning back. Dean looked nervously at Cass but didn’t run away. “Was…was that okay? I didn’t mean..I wasn’t…” Dean stuttered out, suddenly finding the floor very interesting and his ears turning bright red. 

Castiel's heart felt as if it were beating out of his chest, which was a medical impossibility. He understood the description now though.“Dean...please..look at me…” Dean glanced up nervously, waiting for Castiel to reject him like it seemed everyone did eventually. “I had hoped to do that for so long. I never wanted to push you or make you uncomfortable, but I have felt that type of affection for you for some time now.” Dean’s eyes looked sad as Cass spoke. “Don’t you dare look unhappy Dean. Without any of this,” He gestured to them sitting beside one another, “you have been the best friend I could ever have asked for. I never knew what true friendship, loyalty, or family meant till I met you...and Sam. You have both helped save me over and over. You stayed in purgatory to find me….I..I thought it was purely selfish of me to even want more of you. Now..to have you here with me, allowing this “ His hand lightly cupped Dean’s face again. “Is more than I thought I even deserved. I still don't think I do. I couldn’t ask more of you.” Dean smiled slyly then looked at the door. Sammy had closed it behind him when he left. Sneaky bastard. 

“That’s the thing Cass. You’re not the one asking…I..I want to try something. This is new territory for me so..” Dean trailed off as he leaned toward Cass again, as he had before their chaste kiss. As soon as Dean’s lips touched his, Castiel’s eyes slid closed. He felt Dean’s hands come up to cup his face on either side and his hot tongue slide against the part of his lips, pushing him open. Cass sighed into him and parted his lips without resistance, following Dean’s lead. When Dean’s tongue slid into his mouth, he saw stars behind his eyelids. He tentatively rubbed his tongue against Dean’s own and he was startled by Dean moaning into his mouth. Something about that noise drove all logic from Castiel’s brain and he brought his free hand to lightly grip Dean’s hair. He mimicked his movements by sliding his tongue into Dean’s parted mouth. They were both panting, sighing, and softly moaning into the lengthening kiss when there was knock at the door. They froze, comically wrapped around one another and their eyes darted to the door like Sam might could see through it. Sam’s muffled voice came from behind the door. 

“Umm you guys have been in there a while. Do I need to call search and rescue? I’m going to start on lunch in a while, unless you want to help. I can let you know when it’s ready. It will be a good while before it's ready...” Sam chuckled from behind the door as Dean replied, “Handle it Sammy. Bought time you pulled your own weight around here!” Dean chuckled at the shocked look on Castiel’s face when they had parted. He noted the lust-blown pupils and puffy lips. Castiel looked like he had been electrocuted. “Just holler when it’s ready Sam. You cook, we’ll do the clean up!” Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Cass as Sam walked away. 

"Sam was always a buzz kill," Dean smirked under his breath then ran a hand through his as he blushed a little. He again took in the sight before him. Castiel was looking at him with a bit of shock still prevalent on his face. However, the blue of his eyes was diminished by the lust blown pupils and those damned lips...Dean's thoughts trailed off as he blinked absently at his angel, lost in thought. 

"Dean?" Cass said nervously, his voice sounding far more insecure than it had any right to. 

Dean let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Cass said his name like that. It had always driven him crazy the way Cass said his name, like it was the most important word in the world. He quickly brought his hand back to Castiel's lower back to push him into him and he dipped back in to kiss him again. This time, knowing it wasn't a fluke, Castiel kissed back more urgently. Hands roamed on faces, in hair, cupped lightly stubbled chins. They panted against one another, whispering each other's names. The first time Dean whispered, "Castiel" in his ear right before he nipped at it, Cass' eyes rolled back in his head. When Castiel gripped Dean's shoulder right where his hand print had been years ago, Dean moaned obscenely. They were both fully clothed still. Not a stitch had been removed, but they were like horny teenagers kissing for the first time. They were all hands and lips and teeth and tongues. They swallowed each other's moans in open mouthed kisses and would have continued that way for who-knows how long if not for Sam's overly loud knock on the door signaling lunch was ready. 

Cass and Dean looked one another over, waiting for their pulses to slow before they dared venture out of the bedroom to supper. Dean smoothed Cass' hair down to a less ravaged hair style, and gingerly slid his finger over a love bite he had left a bit too conspicuously. He shrugged before grinning sheepishly at Cass. "Well Sammy was gonna find out eventually...that's okay right? For Sammy to know? Whatever.." He gestured wildly, "This is. Hell I'm not even sure I know...but damn if I'm not going to try to analyze it now." 

Castiel's smile was like the sun breaking through the clouds it was so bright. "Yes Dean. I would be proud for Sam to know. Though I suspect he's been our own personal cheering section for some time now.."

Dean chuckled then looked down. "Yeah I'm pretty sure your right." he stood up and smoothed a hand down his disheveled clothes before clapping a hand on Castiel's back. "Well time to face the music."

" I don't understand what kissing has to do with music Dean..." Castiel said as he cocked his head to the side, confused. Dean moaned and grabbed the other man's hand to pull him up off the bed. "Don't...don't do the head tilt man. It's too much right now. I can't deal with that and go sit at a table with my brother. Come on." They walked out of the bedroom hand in hand.


	5. Call me Old Fashioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean breaks the news to a very unsurprised Sam. Castiel makes plans to continue his pursuit of Lucifer with Crowley and tempts Dean unintentionally, and enjoying every moment of it.

They parted their hands at the kitchen door, out of sheer need to make it through the door. Dean inhaled appreciatively and looked around for what Sam had cooked up.  
"It's nothing special. Just spaghetti. I didn't feel like being Gordon Ramsey today."

Cass beamed. "I know that reference! You are in no way similar to the chef that makes people cry Sam." Dean laughed and sat down on the opposite side of the table as Sam and he jerked his head at Cass to sit beside him. Sam raised his eyebrows and looked between the two. As he handed out the plates to Dean and Cass his eye caught a red mark on Castiel's neck, at his jaw line below his ear. It looked like a love bite or hickey to him. He didn't dare say anything but he grinned like the Cheshire Cat when his back was turned. He made his own plate then sat down to eat across from Dean, who was already slurping at his spaghetti like he was starved. Sam shook his head in mock disgust and dug in. 

Castiel kept stealing glances at Dean as he nibbled politely at the spaghetti. He really didn't feel the need to eat, but it seemed to please both of the brothers so he made a show of it most of the time. Dean noticed Castiel's glances and grinned after wiping his mouth with a napkin. Dean smiled sinisterly and joked, "Not hungry? Or you want to Lady and the Tramp this?" He winked wickedly with the eye Sam couldn't see. He was rewarded with Sam choking on his spaghetti and Castiel firing back after the surprise of it. "If you are insinuating turning this into a kissing type situation, I would have to ask who you think would be the "Lady" and who the "Tramp"? Strictly for infortmational purposes of course." 

Dean fired back without any hesitation. "Hands down, I'm the tramp. Your way too good for me," and laughed as Sam leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Alright. I see you finally figured it out. About time." Sam said through a lopsided grin. 

"Yeah. Yeah. I’m a repressed moron, but what’s new. How long have YOU known Sammy? Cass has a theory that it's been a while." Dean said as he leaned back in his chair and mindlessly put his free hand on the back of Castiel's chair.

"I saw it about the same time Cass figured it out for himself...and years before you. You were running a friggin' marathon of denial Dean. It would have been almost impressive if it hadn’t been so frustrating to watch." 

Dean looked a bit crestfallen at that statement and Castiel shot a lightly accusing look at Sam for upsetting Dean. "No man, you're right. I drug this out a lot longer than I had to and made us all a lot more miserable than I had to for this long, but I've made a decision." Dean clapped the palm of his hands on the table. I'm going to be happy. I've even decided to text mom. Tell her to take the time she needs and come back when she's ready. I'm going to be mature as shit about this."

Sam and Castiel both laughed at the irony of Dean's heartfelt statement and they finished their supper, conversation peppered with laughter that had been missing for some time.  
While Dean helped clean up from supper, Castiel went to his room and reluctantly called Crowley after he got a surly text message formally requesting him to call. The voice on the other end was just as surly as the text had been. 

"Nice to hear from you princess. Be ready tomorrow afternoon. We have a location but mother needs time to gather some supplies for the spell to send him back to the cage. She really DID send him to the bottom of the friggin ocean. That rules out her help up close and are you still insisting those denim clad nightmares join the fight? You know they will just get in the way, maybe even get hurt. Mostly though, they will be useless and annoying to me. It’s not like they can follow us to the ocean floor. Only human remember?"

Castiel answered back tersely. "I don't insist. They do, and we're...we're family. Family sticks together. They're coming. You can meet us outside the bunker and take us to the closest spot where Dean and Sam can be. I'm sure Rowena has a spot scoped out for herself and she can keep them apprised of the situation. Do we know what shape his vessel is in?"

"Your sentiment is going to get you all killed one day, and this time for good...No. Mother can't tell if her spell has remained effective or not...this might only be a reconnaissance mission but we've got to see what we're dealing with."

"Agreed. Meet us away from the bunker at 5 tomorrow." Castiel hit end on the call before he would have to hear another witty retort. He padded down the hall and heard Dean and Sam still in the kitchen, discussing who would call mom and what they would say. He didn't want to interrupt so he went back to his room and stood there awkwardly till he noticed one of his dresser drawers that he had not closed completely earlier. It was the pajama pants drawer. He opened it and ran his hands across the soft material, noting how much softer to the touch it was than his typical dress pants. He picked up a pair he liked the color of, a stormy grey, and plucked up a green t-shirt that reminded him of Dean's eyes. Last he grabbed a pair of black boxers and made a split second decision to take a shower while Dean was busy. He was feeling a bit stressed about tomorrow and a bit nervous about sharing a bed again with Dean tonight. Human feelings trapped in an Angel brain. There really was a flaw in his Angel DNA wasn't there? He shook that thought aside for now. He'd always heard a warm shower was relaxing for nerves. He'd enjoyed the feel of them the few times he'd been able to do so as a human. He laid his phone down on the dresser and headed for the bathroom.

Cass had slipped on the boxers and pajama pants and was just rubbing the towel through his head one last time when he heard Dean calling for him. He opened the bathroom door, letting much of the pleasing steam escape out into the hall. "In here Dean!" He heard Dean change direction and head his way. Dean was anxious to tell Cass about the phone call with his mom when he stepped in the doorway of the bathroom and sucked in a breath. Castiel was freshly showered and nude from the waist up. A few water droplets still clung to his chest....Huh...He had never been jealous of water before. His brain felt staticky all of a sudden. Cass' hair was tussled and messy from the towel drying he must have just been doing, and Chuck help him, he was wearing some of the pajama pants Sam and Dean had bought him. They were a little big in the waist, enough that Dean could see the black band of his boxers peeking out. Dean stepped into the bathroom, closed the door, locked it, and leaned against it. Castiel's eyes widened as he took in Dean's state of mind. He reminded him of one of those lions on that documentary he had watched, right before they pounced a gazelle...Oh. Ohhhh..He was the gazelle in this scenario. He decided to have a bit of fun with it and ran the towel through his hair again, watching Dean's eyes follow his every move. Cass valiantly ignored him and opened the medicine cabinet to grab a new toothbrush, still in the packaging. He opened the packaging and tilted his head to the side and looked at Dean innocently, "Something wrong?" and proceeded to brush his teeth. 

Dean's hands danced at his side, hungry to touch Cass' back. He clenched his hands into tight fists and was tempted to bite his knuckles. He couldn't remember a time he had touched Castiel's skin when he wasn't injured. How had he not noticed how the man before him was only slighter smaller than himself, with muscle definition that almost equaled his own as well. He had always made fun of Cass and called him little. Oh how wrong he had been. He laid his right hand tentatively on Cass back as the other man went about his grooming routine. Dean felt him tense a little beneath his touch and he smirked to himself. Faker. He took his left hand and laid it lightly against Cass' left hip, right below where his Enochian tattoo was. He remembered the first time Castiel had proudly shown off his ingenuity and shown Dean the tattoo. Dean remembered little about the tattoo as he had been distracted by the little trail of dark hair that had began right below Cass' belly button. Oh yeah. He'd been in denial alright. 

He leaned against Cass and reached around to grab his own toothbrush and the toothpaste, making sure to press his groin against Castiel's thinly clad backside. Castiel hissed through his teeth like he had been burned, but grabbed the water cup beside the sink and proceeded to rinse and spit. Dean still had him pinned to the sink so Castiel placed his hands on the sink edge and looked at Dean through the mirror. He had a smile of smug satisfaction on his face as he mimicked Cass' earlier teeth brushing and rinsing. He made a point to grind Cass against the sink as he put the cup down. Castiel groaned silently and glanced down only briefly enough to know his pajama pants were going to betray him. He felt himself growing hard beneath the thin fabric and the sink. He thought he could prolong this game a little longer though. As soon as Dean was done, Cass squirmed around so that he was face to face with him, eye contact only slightly off by their minimal height difference. He could have broken away from Dean's hold at any time of course, angel strength and all. However, what would the fun be in that? He watched Dean skim his eyes across Cass’ bare, muscular chest before trailing down to the point of interest in the room. Dean's tongue ran over his now dry lips as he saw what Cass had been hiding. The angel's eyes swimmed with want as he saw Dean's bravado falter and a sliver of insecurity shine through.

He saw his chance and gripped Dean tight and grinded against his denim front. Dean's head fell back and then shot back up and he glared. "Bastard."

"Oh. I didn't know you were going to be a dirty talker Dean. Should have figured though. " Cass smiled what he hoped looked calmly, while inside he was having snarly, animalistic thoughts of taking Dean right here. Cass shrugged then pushed Dean against the wall and gripped both his hands. "I can be one if you want me to." Dean's eyes grew wide and his pupils dilated at feeling that strength Cass so often hid. He couldn't move if he wanted to...but he really, really didn't want to. Dean swallowed hard and locked eyes with Castiel as the other man nipped at his exposed throat with his teeth, a deep chuckle escaping Castiel's lips that made goose bumps go up his arms. Cass pulled back like nothing had happened and with what had to have been angel mojo dropped his hands quickly and picked up his clothes from the floor. "I refuse to let our first time be in a bathroom. Call me old-fashioned…I AM very, very old." 

“Those types of comments…not helpful to my self-acceptance Castiel, “ Dean smirked. “And it also makes you a pervert.”

He then looked over his shoulder at Dean. “Not denying it. By human definitions I suppose I am. I do lust after a much younger man after all...Your place or mine?" He was rewarded with a shocked gasp from Dean before he was able to compose himself and answer as he gulped hard.

"Mine. I've got more supplies. We didn't stock your room with EVERYTHING after all." Dean winked and they both peeked their heads out of the bathroom door like something out of a comedy, Dean's head appearing a fraction of an inch above Castiel's. They both peered up and down the hall, making sure it was clear of Sam. Dean's issues were mostly hidden by his jeans but Cass, in those damn pajama pants, was broadcasting what they had been doing to friggin Mars. Cass noticed Dean glancing down at him and he clutched the handful of clothes he had to his waist, disguising his current situation. They darted down the hall like cat burglars to Dean's room without incident and were both laughing so hard by the time they got the door closed that the previous heated mood had been a bit diminished. 

Dean was still laughing even as he clicked the lock shut on his door, He turned around and the sheer joy in his face took Castiel's breath away. He beamed right back at Dean, still carrying his pile of clothes in his hands. Having remembered them, he tossed them into Dean's hamper. Dean couldn't believe his luck. He had an honest-to-chuck Angel half-naked and eager in his room. He must have done something right with his life, or very wrong, considering what he was about to do.


	6. I'm Definitely Going to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel discuss the moral implications of their relationship. Castiel tries to reassure Dean and they take the next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut Smut Smut. More to come but there has to be Story line sometimes too!

He leaned hard against the door and spoke his worries out loud. “Didn’t some people in the Bible get smited for trying to have sex with angels? ” Dean cast a slightly nervous glance at Cass, who had laid himself on the bed, lounging against the pillows and seeming at complete ease. 

“ Oh. Sodom and Gomorrah.” Castiel shrugged as if he was bored. “I was there…If I am even remembering correctly. Naomi messed with that memory some as well. Apparently I didn't follow orders well then either...Dean, they were trying to rape angels…and you really don’t have to worry about that part.” Castiel’s piercing blue eyes bored holes into what felt like Dean’s soul. “Ask it Dean. I know there is something else about this that bothers you.”

“Damn it Cass..don’t make me say it. It makes me sound….” Dean gestured his hands in front of him helplessly then sighed before he pushed off the door and sat down on the bed next to his angel. “It’s just....I’ve been to Hell. Obviously you know that..I mean…don’t you think sex with an angel would be a big No No on God’s Big List of Things you Shouldn’t Do. I mean, not even bearing in mind the whole lying with another man thing.” Dean blushed and cast his eyes toward Castiel, angry with himself for messing up the mood. 

Castiel sighed at how lost Dean suddenly looked. He got on his knees and scooted toward Dean on the bed. “Okay. First of all your’ mainly talking Old Testament here. I’m pretty sure Chuck is pretty unconcerned with sexual orientation at this point. I know I am….Also, I’m not really a man nor a woman. I’m a celestial being without a gender.” Castiel laughed softly as Dean got an even more conflicted look on his face. “That may not make you feel any better about this.. I know this vessel…” Castiel gestured at his body, “may not be your usual preference but if my vessel bothers you that much, we don’t have to do anything. I would be content to be allowed to hold your hand and spend time with you. I would never want to do anything you were uncomfortable with. However,” and Castiel’s eyes hardened and he gripped Dean’s chin roughly before he spoke, “if you are just afraid of going to Hell for being with me…know I would raise you from perdition a thousand times if that was required of me, wings or no wings. I will not let you burn for any reason, let alone for being with me.” Castiel had almost used the word love but he knew that would scare Dean. He watched Dean’s eyes soften and he leaned his head on Cass’ shoulder. 

“Thank you for not freaking out at my insecurities. I wasn’t brought up in the most accepting of homes you know. This is all so new to me. I’m glad it’s you here with me now though. I’ve wanted this for so long but I was scared. I’m...I'm not running anymore.” He scooted onto the bed and mimicked Castiel’s position on his knees. He cupped the angel’s face with both his hands, leaned his forehead against Cass' forehead and closed his eyes. Castiel put his hands on Dean’s shoulders and waited patiently for the other man to decide for himself what he wanted. His hands were a comforting weight on Dean's shoulders as he warred with himself. 

“Dean…it’s okay.” Castiel’s gravelly tone pushed Dean over the edge. He leaned forward and pressed his lips so hard against Cass that he felt the press of teeth against his lips. He heard the sharp intake of breath of the angel and felt Cass open up and reciprocate the kiss. Castiel was too damned good for him. He would never force him into this and had waited so patiently. Well, damn it, he was tired of fighting it. To hell with Hell. Castiel really would come for him if he had to. He believed him. He trusted Castiel with his eternal soul. Couldn’t he trust him with this? That thought drove him harder into the other man’s arms, which were now wrapped around Dean’s back. Dean slid his hands into his dark, thick hair and gripped a bit tighter than he intended. He was rewarded with a sharp hiss from Cass and his lips moving from Dean’s to explore his throat. 

Castiel was drowning in the essence of Dean Winchester. He had long imagined this but never dared to hope, and now he was in bed with him and his hands…ohhh...pulling his hair and though he knew it should hurt, it made things low in his body jerk and he hissed out a ragged breath. He began ravaging more kisses and nips on Dean’s exposed throat. He really wanted to see more of Dean but he had decided with himself to let Dean set the pace. Castiel had very little experience after all and also knew Dean was having the most moral dilemma with it. He would be patient. He had been patient. He…was suddeny getting very distracted as Dean’s tongue slid into his ear and again made his lower region begin to pay attention to what was going on. Castiel slid his tanned hands up Dean’s shirt and ran them over his stomach. He…was not being very patient. He began chanting Enochian verses in his mind to keep him from pushing Dean too fast. 

Dean meanwhile was tracing Cass’ Adams apple with his tongue. When Cass slid his hands under Dean’s shirt, he realized how overdressed he was. He knew when the clothes started coming off, there would be no going back. If Castiel said stop he would, but with the glazed over look in the Angel’s eyes, he didn’t see a no escaping those full, wet lips. Dean leaned away from Cass and extricated himself from his arms. He leaned back on his heels, breathing hard. He pulled off his long sleeve blue flannel and was about to pull his t-shirt over his head when he noticed the faraway look in Cass’ eyes.

“Where are you man? If you want to stop we can.” Castiel’s slightly hysterical laugh threw Dean for a loop and he raised his eyebrows at him.

“Dean, I’m having to chant Enochian poetry in my head to keep from speeding these events up. I am most definitely in the here and now. Can I help?” Castiel gestured at Dean’s shirt and Dean gave a slight nod of the head. The angels’ hands slithered under his shirt again and pushed his hands up, dragging the shirt up with it. Once it reached Dean’s armpits, he raised his arms and Cass yanked it over his head. They both immediately put their hands on the others’ chest. Cass traced his fingers along the anti-possession tattoo while Dean traced the strong points of Cass’ collar bone. Castiel leaned forward and planted one chaste kiss over Dean’s heart, looking up at him as he did it. Dean came undone. Cass could see the hard line of Dean’s erection pressed against his jeans and Cass already knew what his own condition was. 

Dean’s hands were trembling like it was his first time and the DAMN button of his jeans was not cooperating. It didn’t help that his hardness was making there be a bit less loose fabric than normal. Nibble fingers reached out to his pants and Dean said a silent thank you with his eyes as Cass unsnapped the button with magically steady hands. Dean could take it from there but Cass continued by sliding the zipper down excruciatingly slow. He didn’t know if he was teasing him or giving him more one chance to back out. In case Castiel needed any reassurance, Dean put his thumbs at the pants waist and slid them down his hips till they were pooled at his knees. There was no sexy way to do this next part. Dean clumsily yanked the pants legs off and threw them, annoyed, to the floor. Dean was now on the bed wearing only a pair of red boxers, that did not hide how hard he was like the jeans did. He had never felt this insecure in bed with a woman...but this was Castiel. Speaking of Cass, the angel was now sliding his pajama pants deliciously slowly off his hips and damn it if he didn’t even slide them down his legs like sex itself. Had to be Angel Mojo. No one could take their pants off that smoothly. It looked like Castiel was only going to give as good as Dean gave. They were going to pace one another.

Dean laid down next to Cass and he mirrored Dean and stretched out as well. They went back to kissing soft and slow, learning each other’s mouths. It was all very unhurried and slow until Dean nipped at Cass’ ear and that caused the other man to jerk his hips forward, their hardness sliding against one another’s thin boxers. That caused a chain reaction of both men throwing their heads back and Dean rolling over on top of him. Dean’s breath was ragged and his eyes were wild as he held his torso above the angel with his arms and grinded his pelvis against his. He watched Cass’ eyes flutter closed and heaven help him, he moaned Dean’s name. 

“Dean!” Cass moaned out as he ground their hardness together. He felt Dean’s thumbs grip the elastic band of his boxers and slide them off. Castiel laid there, completely revealed to his hunter. His hard cock curved toward his belly button and he again went with Dean’s lead and put his hands on Dean’s waist, waiting a moment before locking eyes with Dean and sliding them down and off him. He finally had Dean skin to skin with him. He couldn’t help but let his eyes sweep over his entirety. He was pleased to see they were pretty easily matched as far as size, and he was beautiful all over, as Cass had known he would be. 

It was Dean’s turn to chant in his head. It turned out to be excorcisms in Latin that did the trick. He was far too tempted to take Castiel now but he had to go slow, angel or not. They were now without any physical barrier between them and that alone had almost seen Dean come unraveled. He hovered above Castiel, appreciating the two strong bodies laid out so vulnerably for each other. He began to shower kisses on Castiel’s chest, moving lower and lower, enjoying the little gasps and moans coming from his mouth. Dean was kissing those mouth watering pelvic bones when Castiel spoke.

“Crowley is coming here at 5pm tomorrow to take us to Lucifer!” He all but yelled in his signature gravelly tone. Dean, stunned, rolled his eyes up to look at Cass. Castiel’s eyes looked a bit wild and Dean spoke against his skin, his hot breath tempting Cass to swear out loud. “Good to know…but couldn’t you have found a more opportune time to bring this up?” He laid another kiss underneath Cass’ belly button. 

“There had not been a time to tell you and I was afraid I might forget later….” Cass trailed off.

Dean hummed thoughtfully against Cass’ thigh.“Hmm…That settles it. I can’t let you go up against Lucifer a virgin.”

“But Dean I’m not..” Castiel began to argue but Dean’s eyes narrowed and his sentence fell flat. 

“That reaper bitch did not count. She tricked you, tortured you, and killed you. I refuse to count that and neither should you. Never would have happened if I had kept you safe…..My fault. Should have been me.” Dean grumbled but never stopped kissing Cass, moving now to his thighs, parting them with his hands. 

“Oh…OOOh…Okay Dean. If you insist. Whatever you say!” Dean chuckled and kept in mind how easy that argument was to win when he had his mouth near Cass’ thighs. He slid his tongue up the shaft of Castiel’s hard cock and was rewarded with Cass clutching the sheets and throwing a wild look his way. He began to lay kisses all over his hardness, enjoying Castiel coming completely undone. He was doing that to an Angel of the Lord. That made his own cock jerk underneath him and he slid his torso up to hover over Cass’,face to face. This left their hard cocks rubbing against one another with an intense velvet heat. 

“Shit!” Dean froze as Castiel swore beneath him. He…he had never heard Cass swear, other than the unfortunate assbutt comment. He grinned down at him. “Oh naughty angel does have a potty mouth. I thought you were just teasing me about that earlier.”Dean grinded against Castiel again with a smile that could only be described as wicked as Cass bit his lip. 

“Screw you Dean Winchester,” Castiel glared up at Dean in a playful but slightly menacing way. Dean chuckled darkly and said, “Next time angel. Tonight it’s my turn.” He ran his hand down Castiel’s chest and glided his hand down to draw lazy circles on the other man’s inner thighs. “I’ve never actually done this before I’ll admit, but I did do some research on it once. You have to tell me if it hurts or you need me to stop okay?” Dean’s tone turned serious. 

Dean’s words had Castiel ready to swear his undying devotion, pledge servitude, anything to get this to its inevitable end. He gazed with adoration at this man who, even consumed with lust, was concerned about hurting him. Castiel nodded firmly but could not speak. He made his consent clear by parting his muscular legs to gain Dean better access. Dean leaned across him to open his nightstand and grab a bottle of lubricant. Cass gave Dean a questioning look and watched Dean blush slightly. “Sometimes even I need a little help you know? Stress relief? There hasn't ever been anyone else in this bed with me but you...Well I mean Charlie did lay on the bed once.."

'Stop talking Dean.." Castiel growled out as he watched Dean snap open the cap of the bottle and drizzle some lube on two of his fingers then rub them together. His heart skipped a beat when he felt Dean run a finger lightly over the puckered hole and he sucked in a breath when he gently slid a finger in. He caught a breath in his throat and his eyes fluttered shut for a moment before coming back to look down at Dean, whose eyes were consumed with lust. 

Dean could think of nothing but burying himself inside the man laid out before him. He knew he was an angel and he couldn’t really hurt him but he refused to make their first time anything but pleasant for either one of them. He would make this good for Castiel. He slid the one finger in and out until he felt little resistance then he carefully added a second. Cass was staring at him in that piercing way he could, which was not helping Dean’s need. 

“Ca..Cass. Unless you want me to cum on the sheets before we ever get to the fun part, I’m going to need you to tone down your soulful stare.” Dean stated with a shaky breath. He was rewarded with a moan and a chuckle. “Ooo. My apologizes Dean.” Cass laid his head back on his pillow and murmured. Castiel was able to still make coherent sentences. Dean saw that as a personal failure and began to pump his two fingers faster into Cass. That did it and he panted against his leg as Cass threw his head back against the pillow and arched his back off the bed like a cat. Dean couldn’t hold out much longer and slid in a third finger, working him open and adding more lube as he felt the friction increase. 

“Dean! Need you…now!” Castiel moaned out as the third finger was added and pumped into him until he was stretched. “Damn it, you’re not going to break me now fuck me already!” He couldn’t even believe he had said that. He was possessed with blind lust, wantonly grinding into Dean’s fingers. “Please Dean!” 

Dean couldn’t wait any longer. His angel was cussing like a sailor and hell if that didn’t flick his bick. He was even begging. He had reduced an angel to begging for his cock. Who was he to refuse? He lined himself up with Castiel’s slick hole and slid in, not facing much resistance thanks to his previous ministrations. They both froze for a moment, lost in the fact that this was actually happening. Dean gripped Castiel's hips but did not move. He waited to give Cass time to adjust until he moved against him with a horny moan. That did it. Dean began pumping into him in a steady rhythm, propping his arms up so he could watch Castiel. He started slow, sliding out but leaving the tip in. He glided in and out deliciously slow. Suddenly those torturously blue eyes of his found Dean's and stayed there. Dean bent down and began kissing him deeply, matching the thrusts of his tongue to the thrusts lower. They were one being made of heat and hands. The headboard thumped hard against the wall and Castiel’s fingers were gripping Dean’s upper arms hard enough he could feel that bruises would form. He just didn’t have the capacity to care. He leaned up and was sharing some deep and soulful eye sex when Castiel smirked and knocked him on his ass and then straddled his lap, guiding his cock back in his tight hole and riding him. 

“….The Hell Cass!” Dean groaned as he wrapped his arms around him and they were pressed face to face, Castiel’s forgotten hardness pressed between their stomachs. They were wrapped around one another, Castiel leading the charge now. The wicked grin that played across his face made Dean’s eyes widen as he rolled his hips against Dean, “Oooh Fuck! You’re going to be the death of me.” He chuckled. He gasped out and began pumping hard up into Cass. A sheen of sweat had formed on his skin. He could feel the pressure building but knew Cass was still not getting any attention on his forgotten cock. Dean continued to pump into his tightness, but wrapped his hand around Castiel’s member, pumping him in rhythm, kissing his neck as Cass threw his head back and left it exposed. He pumped his hand with more urgency as he felt his own climax rushing closer. As he felt Castiel falter and his tight channel begin to squeeze Dean’s cock he leaned over and whispered, “Castiel, come for me.” 

His angel gasped out, “DEAN!” before clapping hands over Dean’s eyes and coming between their stomachs. As Dean felt hot seed spill onto his stomach he came hard into Cass with the angel’s hands still clasped tightly over his eyes. He felt warm and tingly and when his climax finally ended he peeled Castiel’s hands away from his eyes. He did not know what to think when he was able to see again and Cass looked feral. His hair was all askew, his eyes wild, and he was searching Dean’s face frantically.

“Cass? You okay there?” Dean leaned back on his arms but did not try to move away from him. 

“You’re…you’re not hurt are you? I wasn’t sure…I didn’t know..” Castiel’s hands ran across Dean’s face and eyelids then he relaxed noticeably. It quickly clicked with Dean what had happened.

“You’re….you’re true form comes through when you orgasm? That...that’s weird man. I really am going to Hell.” Dean laughed happily. 

“It’s not funny Dean. I...didn’t know that would happen. I have no experience having intercourse as an angel…remember the only other time...” He trailed off as Dean glared at him for bringing up the reaper again. “Okay...so I’m not sure if that will happen every time or not…there’s no one I can ask. I could have blinded you!” Castiel began to pull away but Dean gripped him tight. 

“Uh uh. You’re not going to do the whole freak out thing on me. That’s my job and I’m not freaking out so you’re not allowed to either.” Dean leaned their foreheads together and kissed Cass softly. “We’ll figure it all out as we go. I promise. It will be fine.” Castiel sighed into Dean’s kiss and relaxed against him until they both became a bit uncomfortable as they became sticky from fluid and lubricant, and Dean's legs began to fall asleep. They reluctantly parted themselves. 

“Damn if we’re not going to need another shower,” Dean said but as soon as the words left his lips he saw Castiel snap his fingers and they were clean. “Did…did you just use angel mojo to clean up after sex? Oh yeah..I’m definitely, DEFINITELY going to hell.”

“And I will be right there to yank you back out and make love to you again.” Castiel all but purred at Dean. Even though Dean was thoroughly spent that statement made his eyes flutter closed. He hobbled over to the dresser on wobbly legs and grabbed out a pair of pajama pants very similar to those Cass had been wearing earlier and slipped those over the red boxers he had rescued from the floor. He watched Castiel do the same before they both slid back onto the bed, this time under the comforter. They lay facing one other, fingers laced together under the cover. 

“Well…you’re definitely not going to die a virgin now,” Dean smiled as he laid a soft kiss on Castiel’s forehead. 

“Hmm...true by one definition. We will have to clear the other hurdle another day.” Castiel smiled at the shy look Dean gave him back and said, “I’d like that. Doing that..with you.” 

Castiel sat up in the bed and propped his back against the head board. Dean, Chuck help him, snuggled into him and laid his head over Cass’ heart. Cass absently slid his fingers through Dean’s hair and hummed a tune that had been stuck in his head all day. Ear worms weren't they called? A wholly unpleasant turn of phrase. He felt Dean relaxing and knew he was preparing to fall asleep, even though it was early afternoon. Castiel was not opposed to sharing an afternoon nap with his new lover. “Dean?” the rumble of Castiel’s voice in his chest had Dean’s attention. “Hmm?” he mumbled, practically oozing satisfaction. “Do…Can…is this going to be common knowledge, you know…outside of the bunker? Or would you rather...you know…pretend we aren’t..” Castiel’s thoughts trailed off but Dean knew what he was asking. He propped himself up on one arm and looked him in the eye. “You want to know how you’re supposed to act tomorrow in front of Crowley and Rowena don’t you?” Castiel tilted his head and gave him a noncommittal shrug, trying not to sway Dean’s answer. Dean thought for a moment. He really did. He knew this was important to answer right. 

“Crowley’s going to figure it out anyway. He’s known how I felt longer than I have I think. He’s always teased both of us about it…I think…I think we just be ourselves. Tomorrow is going to be stressful enough without trying to pretend and lie on top of that. I’m going to be worried sick while you’re gone and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be pretty obvious so…yeah…” Dean chewed his lip mindlessly. Better to get it over with. He wasn’t ashamed of Castiel. How could he be? However, he knew how cruel the world could be to those who were different and he didn’t want that for Cass, but as long as they were together they could handle whatever came their way. He hoped.


	7. We Don't Talk About That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley calls early and finds out that Dean and Castiel are together. This revelation sparks jealously in Castiel that Dean is happy to help with work thruogh. Castiel gives Dean a very hard lesson about Angels and Demons...*smirk* Sam is amazingly understanding and supportive as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite chapters to write. I love for Top Castiel moments! Smut warning ahead!

Early the next morning Castiel’s phone was buzzing on the nightstand. Dean was asleep on his chest but he was able to stretch enough to grab it. Of course it was Crowley. 

“I do not recall requesting a wake up call,” Cass hissed into the phone, hoping not to wake Dean but feeling him begin to stir beside him. 

“Oh Cassie, we are not creatures for sleeping. I have been courteous enough to book a room for the Brother’s Winn under the name Demone at a hotel directly adjacent to the location we will be exploring. Mother will be there as well.”

Dean was beginning to stir more and mumbled, “Cass what time is it?” Castiel cringed but ignored the damning silence on the other end of the phone and spoke to Dean casually.   
“It’s very early. I’m sorry I woke you. I will be done momentarily.” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair with his free hand and Dean nodded, nuzzling back in closer. He really was very endearing when he was sleepy, Cass thought to himself. He was much more open with his affections when he was partially unconscious. 

“Ahem. Still here. Was that our dear Dean I heard on the other end of the phone? Oh my. How deliciously scandalous. Tsk Tsk my boy. How the Holy have fallen. Do tell Squirrel I said hello. I know he can be quite cranky when he first wakes up...” Crowley let that sentence fade out intentionally while Castiel tightened his grip on the phone and thought hard about tossing it across the room. 

“Was there anything else at all you needed Crowley? If not, we will see you at 5pm.”

There was a pregnant silence on the other end of the phone. “You’re not even going to deny your bedding him are you? Well you’re really not going to be any fun to tease anymore.“   
Castiel growled into the phone, “Crowley!”

“Noo…nothing else of import I suppose. Sweet dreams Cassie…” Castiel hung up even as Crowley cackled on the other end of the phone. Castiel huffed quietly and laid the phone on the nightstand, using all his restraint not to slam it down and smash it. 

Dean, who Cass thought had gone back to sleep, mumbled into his chest. “That was Crowley huh? Good thing we decided not to keep this,” and he rubbed his hands along Cass’ chest, “a secret. He’s going to be completely insufferable today you know.” Castiel felt Dean smile against his chest, knowing he must not have heard the entire conversation. 

“Insufferable is the nicest thing I think he is going to be today. He will be lucky to return from the hunt. If Lucifer does not kill him I will smite him myself. It would be my superb pleasure.” Castiel huffed angrily and Dean rolled over onto his back so he could look at him. Dean’s eyes were sharp, even this early in the morning. Years of running from things that wanted to kill you had taken awaken the luxury of letting sleep linger. 

“Cass, you shouldn’t let Crowley get under your skin so easily. I mean I know he’s done awful things to us and he’s not our friend.” Dean shrunk away a little at the glare Castiel shot him. “But…and hear me out. He’s not the worst thing out there and he’s a decent ally when we need that type of help. If you let him see he’s getting to you, he will just try to find ways to take it up a notch. Just own it and ignore him. That’s always worked pretty well for me. Remember, I did spend some time with him before…” 

Castiel’s eyes narrowed and he shot a look to Dean that would have set lesser demons aflame. “Remember the rule about not talking about the reaper? We aren’t going to discuss that time with Crowley either. It was a very bad time for me, Dean…not knowing where you were. Thinking you were dead or lost to me.” Castiel suddenly rolled over on top of Dean, holding his chest up above Dean with his arms and looking down at him, anger brewing just below the surface. “Then finding out you were with Crowley. "Bromancing" as I heard him call it. I was furious. ” Castiel dipped his head down and bit lightly on Dean’s neck.” I was insufferably jealous, even considering you might...be...with him and never with me.” He kissed down Dean’s chest and flicked his warm tongue across the nub of Dean’s left nipple and bit down lightly. Dean was squirming underneath him and tried to reach up to grip his shoulders. Castiel grabbed both of Dean’s hands and held them above his head, switching his grip to hold them both in one hand before continuing to kiss and nip the skin at Dean’s collarbone. “But even when I came to Sam’s call and found you trying to kill him, with those damned black eyes, I still wanted you.” Castiel actually bit down on Dean’s shoulder and felt him growing hard, pressed against his own cock that was very interested, even this early in the morning. 

“Cass..” Dean gasped out but his words were swallowed up by Cass’mouth on his. 

“I’m not done talking Dean.” Dean’s eyes widened at the commanding tone Castiel’s voice had taken and he stared up with suddenly wide, lust filled eyes and nodded. “Good..now as I was saying.” Castiel slid his hands down Dean’s side to slide his boxers off. He pulled the covers back and Dean gasped at the rush of cool air hitting him. Cass released Dean to grab for the lube bottle they had put back in the nightstand and came back to kneel between Dean’s legs. He lubed up two fingers, eyes smoldering at Dean and smirking as Dean spread himself for him. Castiel slowly teased Dean’s hole with the tip of one finger until he felt it was sufficiently lubricated then he slid in one finger very slowly. He looked up at Dean, who had his hands gripping the sheets. He raised one eyebrow at Dean in question and Dean nodded his head, that he was okay, unable to speak. He was taking deep breaths, his chest heaving up and down. 

“I don’t think you really understand Dean. About Demons and Angels.” Castiel spoke as he moved his finger in and out of Dean faster. He let silence fall and the only sound in the room was Dean's panting, and the occasional moan that snaked past his lips. Castiel pulled his fingers out, delighting in the whimper that Dean let loose. "One moment." Castiel slid back in with two fingers and Dean froze up for a moment. Cass waited silently for Dean to relax before continuing. When he saw Dean’s muscles soften he began to move his fingers again, watching his lover arch his back. “Angels and Demons, We are timeless enemies.” He was soon adding a third and his own cock was hard enough to cut diamond, a fact he kept secret from Dean. “We are programmed from creation to hate,fight, and fear one another.” Castiel flicked his fingers across Dean's prostate and his eyes became heavy lidded as Dean bucked off the bed, trempling. "Cass! Shit! Please!"

"I'm still talking Dean." Castiel chided but his patience was waning. He got the lubricant bottle and coated his cock in the cool substance, slicking himself up and letting Dean watch him do it. Dean’s eyes were glued to what Cass was doing and he swallowed hard, nodding his head and begging with his eyes. Cass lined himself up with Dean’s hole and slowly sunk himself in. Dean moaned sinfully and gasped Cass’ name. Castiel’s eyes rolled back in his head at how hot and tight Dean was for him. He knew from Dean's reactions that he had never let another person do this to him, and Castiel planned to stake his claim. He buried himself completely in Dean’s hole and waited, gripping his hips tightly. Dean laid there a moment, trembling and tense. Soon they locked eyes and Dean moved beneath him. Castiel took the signal and began to move inside Dean, slowly and gently at first. 

“Dean, as much as I loathe demons, when I saw you with your black eyes, when you were trying to kill your own brother for fun…” Castiel began to move a little faster, watching Dean come undone underneath him, wrapping his arms around Castiel's neck and then pulling him in closer by wrapping his legs around his hips. This slid Cass in even deeper into Dean. They both shuddered but Castiel recovered first. “I would have still had you if you had offered any part of yourself to me. I despise demons and my instincts tell me to spite them on sight, Dean.” 

Castiel began pumping more roughly into Dean as he felt it was safe to do so. He then enunciated each word with a hard thrust into Dean. “I. Am. An. Angel. Of. The. Lord,” Dean whined wantonly beneath him and dug his nails into Cass' shoulders as he pumped into him at a punishing pace. “Yet I wanted nothing more than to kiss you, a demon Knight of Hell, and take you right there in front of Sam. When I wrapped my arms around you in that hall to stop you from killing Sam, all I could think about was slamming you into the wall and fucking you.” Dean’s cock was hard and seeping between their stomachs and Cass began to pump it with one of his hands while he easily held up his weight with the other and continued fucking harder into Dean. “You were supposed to be everything I hated but even then I wanted you in the most sinful of ways. You have tamed me without even trying, Dean Winchester.” 

At those words Dean pumped his release from Castiel’s tight hold on him. “Cover your eyes Dean.” Cass panted out. Dean, even through his fog of release, threw his hands over his eyes even as he gasped and moaned with every thrust. Castiel’s momentum suddenly faltered and he slammed his hands over Dean’s as he came, spilling into him and claiming him as his own. While dean lay there panting and covered in a light sheen of sweat, Castiel removed above him, perfectly still. A few moments later Castiel pulled his hands away, and Dean shakily removed his own and looked up at Cass. Castiel was looking at him with a look of sheer possession. It made Dean's stomach tighten and he shuddered as Cass slid out of him slowly. 

“So…duly noted.” Dean panted out with his first deep breath and he wiped some sweat from his forehead. “I will definitely not bring up my time with…”Cas glared down, a bit of grace still shining from his eyes. “Yeah that…but can’t say I regret that decision.” Dean chuckled softly then scooted into a sitting position, hissing a tiny bit at the soreness he knew would intensify later. He ran his hands up his arms to ward off the sudden chill from the lack of body contact and noticed the light bruises on his arms from the evening before. “Well that’s going to be a conversation starter at breakfast. “ 

The possessive, dirty talking Angel suddenly evaporated before Dean's very eyes and his insecure, doting Angel seemed to resurface. “I’ve hurt you. Please..” Castiel leaned over with two fingers outstretched and made to heal him but Dean leaned away. Cass froze in surprise. 

“There are some bruises that don’t need healing Cass. Same with being sore. I’ve always kinda liked the reminder of it. It’s like my own little secret that I don’t have to share with anyone, except you of course.” Dean glanced down and rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, that was amazing. I wasn't sure how I would feel being..you know..."

Castiel tilted his head to the side. " You're saying you enjoyed being the "bottom" as I have seen it called in those movies..." Dean squirmed uncomfortably but nodded.

"But you know...not all the time. I don't think I'd be able to walk if we did that all the time. I guess..you know..we can take turns? Do people do that?" Dean asked nervously, feeling very out his depth and feeling foolish for asking an Angel about sex terms.

"Yes Dean. I believe they call them Switches." It was Castiel's turn to look uncomfortable. "I mean, from my studying I have learned that term..."

Dean and Cass both chuckled lightly at how ridiculous it all was before Dean remembered to ask. "How did it go with you not blinding me by the way? Was it any easier to control?” 

Castiel all but scoffed as Dean asked. “Easier? You give yourself far too little credit. I’m afraid it may take some time before I am…adjusted…to intercourse with you. We will just have to be very careful...I could not live with myself if I caused you real pain due to my Hedonistic ways.”

“Cass, lighten up buddy. I’m fine. Everything is going to go fine today, and we will back here in this bed before you know it. You said yourself you needed to get adjusted to sex with me...practice makes perfect.” He clicked his tongue and winked at the pouting angel, which caused him to crack a smile. “Now..I feel a pressing matter I need to attend to in the bathroom. I’ll be back.” Dean scooped up his boxers and quickly flung them on before disappearing down the hall. Castiel snapped his fingers to remove the traces of lubricant on the bed and fixed the sheets so Dean could easily slide in when he came back. Luckily he was covered from the waist down because what he didn’t expect was for Sam to walk past the door Dean had so carelessly left open. It was still early, but they both knew Sam was an early riser. 

Sam faltered as he walked by the door. He was wearing the clothes he normally wore to go running in. They made just slightly uncomfortable eye contact but when Sam saw Castiel was alone he leaned against the door frame briefly enough to say, “You two can go in on a pair of noise cancelling headphones for me for Christmas. For my sanity.” Sam laughed and walked off, stretching his arms and legs in preparation for his run.

“My apologizes Sam!” Castiel broadcast down the hallway after the younger Winchester. He smiled softly to himself, happy that Sam was okay with this. He would never want to do anything to bring strife between the brothers. 

“Sam’s up already? Perky, early-morning bastard,” Dean grumbled as he slid back into the warmth of the bed. The sleep was definitely gone from his eyes but he lay on his left side, facing Castiel and propped up on his arm. “What were you apologizing for?”

“Oh.” Castiel actually blushed just slightly but it was dim enough in the room that Dean could not see it. “Sam apparently…heard a bit of our copulation noises. He asked for noise cancelling headphones for Christmas.” Dean laughed out loud and fiddled with Castiel’s sex-ruffled hair. 

“Deal. I’ll get online today and we can all have a very Merry Christmas. “His eyes warmed as his laugh became a soft smile. “You know what I love the most about you Cass? You can go from giving me the best sex I've ever had while calling yourself an Angel of the Lord to using words like Hedonism and copulation. You’re one of a kind.” Dean laid his head back on his pillow and closed his eyes. Castiel sighed at the sentiment in Dean’s tone. He knew they would have to get out of bed soon and face the uncertainty of the day ahead but for now they lied side by side, soaking in the warmth and companionship.  
\------------------------------------   
When they arose for the day, Dean stated that they both needed a shower. However, Cass countered that they would get far too distracted to share. Dean’s stomach growling cemented Castiel’s argument that now was not the time. Before he left for his room to gather what clothes he would wear for the day he hesitated in the doorway. 

“Dean…I think you need to let your mother know where you will be today and what’s going to happen. She needs to know where you and Sam will be in case she needed you. It would also be a very good chance to open up a “dialogue” between you all, if you do not mind me saying so.” Castiel gave him the soulful stare Dean could rarely say no to and he nodded. 

“You’re right. I’ll call her while you shower then I’ll get in after you. Don’t use all the hot water. That’s a dick move. Ask Sam. I do retaliate.” Dean clapped Cass on the shoulder as they parted and smiled.   
\------------------------------------  
The day went pleasantly enough for what was looming ahead. They had a cheerful breakfast that Dean and Sam worked on together while Castiel laughed at their bickering. No one brought up runaway mothers or Lucifer. When breakfast was over, they all decided to watch Netflix and spend a bit of the day just relaxing. There would be time enough for action later. Dean and Castiel shared the couch and tried very hard to keep the touching toned down for Sam’s sake. Castiel gripped Dean’s hand while they watched and Dean occasionally ran his thumb along Castiel’s fingers. Dean’s relaxed state caused him to fall asleep toward the end of the movie, his head on Cass’ shoulder. 

“Well he did have a very early morning.” Castiel noted. “Crowley called very early and then he couldn’t go back to sleep. Then we had sexual relations. It was a very busy morning” Cass ran his hands through Dean’s hair absently with the hand he had wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't even see hear Sam's coughing fit. He stared, memorizing the planes of his face and every freckle. He was more hesitant about tonight than he would ever let on. Now that he had Dean, someone he had yearned for for years, he was loathe to risk losing him. Duty was duty though and he would fulfill his mission. 

Sam felt almost as if he was intruding, watching Castiel gaze at Dean. He had hoped this day would finally come where Dean could stop being so damn stubborn and let himself be loved. Dean deserved to be loved and Castiel loved him with everything he had. Sam had seen it for years and had dropped hints for just as long, but until Dean had been ready to let him in, it would have always fallen on deaf ears. Mom leaving was one of the worst experiences of their lives, but this, this balanced the scales a bit, for all of them. Sam loved Castiel too, as a true brother. Castiel had earned that title again and again. Today they would follow him to his own mission and help if they could, because that’s what family did, but he really had to teach him what the term Too Much Information meant. He added that to the list for another day.


	8. TIme to Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters and Castiel meet up with Crowley and Rowena to enact the not-so-brilliant plan. Castiel is warring with jealousy while Dean worries about the safety of the one he loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just...freaking love writing Crowley. That is all.

The Winchester brothers and Castiel had to walk about a mile away from the bunker to meet Crowley. With the wards in place again, Crowley could not zap himself into the bunker and they were all three unwilling to drop the warding, much to Crowley’s eternal grumpiness. They could have driven Baby to meet him, but didn’t want to leave her on the side of the road. Walking it was then. All three men carried a duffel bag with them in case this took longer than expected, better to be safe. Castiel was dressed in street clothes so as to draw less attention to themselves at the hotel and abroad. A man walking down the beach in a full trench coat and suit might draw attention they didn’t need, as Castiel had learned over the years. Instead, and much to Dean’s delight and dismay, Cass was clad in blue jeans and a white t-shirt from his dresser. He had thrown over a black long sleeve and had rolled the sleeves up to just below his elbows. Castiel was even wearing black sneakers that he had found in Dean’s closet. Dean couldn’t breathe. When Cass had asked if he looked okay, Dean had been tempted to fall to his knees and cling to this adorable, insecure, sexual deviant of an Angel and beg him to take him then and there but had only croaked out, "Oh yeah." 

He covertly walked behind him on the way to Crowley so he could watch the way his angel moved in jeans. This was a heretofore unknown sight. It was truly sinful that he had covered himself in the baggy clothes for so long. The trench coat and tie had to stay long term. They were part of who Cass was, but damn, he liked a little change once in a while. He was practically salivating but tried desperately to be cool about it, especially since they were about to meet up with Crowley. Castiel seemed to sense Dean’s eyes on him and he leaned back to look at him and…shit…winked. Who knew the little nerdy angel was hiding a flirtatious sex machine too? I mean, WHO would have called that one?! Dean realized that so much of the angel’s awkwardness and sadness had just been him waiting on Dean to see he loved him. This new, joyful, optimistic Castiel didn’t surface until Dean had realized that he loved him back. Whoa. He did love Castiel. Dean stopped in his tracks for a moment, a few feet behind his brother and Cass. 

Castiel looked back at Dean with worry etched on his face as he saw Dean freeze. He tilted his head to the side as the worry lines etched deeper in his forehead the longer Dean stood there staring at the ground. Castiel held up one finger to Sam and walked back to Dean, his feet kicking up small clouds of dust in the dirt. He knew Crowley could see them from the tree he was leaned against in the distance so he would try not to give him any kind of show. He dropped his duffel on the ground and put one hand on Dean’s left shoulder. He tilted Dean's chin up with his other hand. 

“What’s wrong Dean?” Castiel gazed into Dean’s downcast eyes until he looked up from the ground, his forehead scrunched and a confused look in his eye. 

“It’s nothing Cass. I’m fine, really. Just a thought I had, and now really isn’t the time.” Dean tried to shake the heaviness of the realization away to get his head back in the hunt. 

“If it’s got you this distracted it’s better to discuss it now before we have to deal with Crowley and Rowena. I need to be focused and it…bothers me when you are distraught.” Castiel could feel Crowley and Sam’s eyes on them from afar. He glanced behind him to confirm his suspicions and yes, Crowley was making some type of smart remark to Sam, who had walked ahead when Castiel came back for Dean and who was saying something very terse back. 

Dean seemed to be warring with himself over what to do. Cass could see the conflict behind his eyes. “Come on Dean. You can trust me,with any and all things. We don’t have much time..Crowley’s waiting and he won’t be this respectful of our space much longer. Tell me, what is it?”

“Castiel, I just realized something. It’s just so dumb to say I just realized it after everything this week, or just allowed myself to think it. I…love you...I Guess... Guess I have for a while…You..you know it’s hard for me to say but I just realized it myself.” Dean gave Cass a lopsided, shy smile and his face turned a little pink. “I...think you already knew that but I needed to say it out loud I guess.” Dean watched Castiel’s worried expression transform simultaneously from one of worry to one of tenderness. Castiel’s hand slid from Dean’s shoulder to hold his face in his hands. 

“Oh Dean....Yes. I knew without you having to say it, but it’s amazing to hear. I knew you’d say it in your own time but I have infinite patience, at least when it comes to you. I love you too.” Castiel leaned his forehead against Deans and mumbled close to his mouth so Crowley couldn’t read his lips or Dean’s. “You would pick this moment, outdoors, and surrounded by your dear brother and a demon to confess your love for me. You do not play fair Dean Winchester, but when we return from this I’m going to do something about the way you’ve been staring at my butt since we left. It’s driving me senseless….You okay to go now?” He laid a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips as he nodded."I would very mich like to kiss you properly but, alas, now is not the time." Dean nodded his agreement and picked up his duffel and gripped Castiel's hand in his. Castiel picked up his own duffel and he and Dean walked hand in hand to the waiting two. Crowley was standing under an old oak tree, a few steps from Sam, who towered over the demon. He smirked as Castiel and Dean walked over together. 

“All done wasting my time with your little lover’s quarrel? We are on a schedule! Can’t say I miss the attention grabbing trench coat but you’re looking a little Boy Band these days Cassie.” All of Crowley’s verbal venom was cast at Castiel. He was a bit surprised at how civil Crowley was being, for Crowley, after finding out about him and Dean. He glanced over at Sam and quirked an eyebrow, guessing Sam had something to do with that. Sam gave a closed lipped smile and rocked back on his heels, doing his best to look innocent while twirling the demon knife between his fingers. Castiel owed Sam for that one and he knew it. He wanted nothing to upset Dean after he was doing so well with his self-acceptance these days.

“Shut it Crowley. Stow your baggage for another day.” Dean snarked back in typical Dean fashion, before letting go of Cass’ hand to shove the sleeves of his red flannel shirt to his elbows and then grip Castiel’s hand again. “We’re ready. How do we do this?” 

Crowley glowered a little. “We’ll have to all be…touching for it to work." Crowley wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Too bad your angel’s wings are Kentucky fried. I’m sure you’d prefer his mode of travel.” Crowley hesitated before laying a hand on Sam’s shoulder and Sam reached out to touch Dean’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t let go if I were you. I might have….lost…a few passengers over the years. Mostly accidental…mostly.” Dean, Castiel, and Sam rolled their eyes in unison and Crowley sent them all off. If there had been anyone around to see it, they would have seen them blink away as one and leave nothing behind but a kick up of dust from the dry road and a small puff of grey smoke.  
\----------------------------------------------  
They appeared almost seconds of leaving Lebanon inside a hotel room. It was laid out like every hotel in every part of the country except the crappy art on the wall was beach themed and the hotel colors were muted pastels. The walls were white with little baskets of seashells sitting around as décor. It was gaggingly beach themed and everyone wrinkled their noses at it as they stepped apart from one another. 

“It was the closest hotel to the location Castiel and I will be venturing to. I don’t much approve of the décor either. Far too cheerful. Good thing we don’t intend to stay long. Mother’s room is adjoining yours.” As Crowley spoke her name, Rowena stalked through the adjoining door, smoldering with anger. Her red hair was cascading around her like a fiery cape. 

“Fergus, I swear as soon as we get Lucifer back in the bloody cage I pray to ALL the God’s I never have to see you again! And now you’ve brought the damned witch killing Winchesters to bunk with me! What could go wrong? I’m not at your beck and call. I offered to help once you got him cornered, and THIS is not cornered. It will not end well, mark my words.” She whirled around after casting them all a dirty look and slammed her door.

“Good to see you too Rowena!” Dean yelled as she stalked out. “We’re counting on her to keep Sam and me in on what’s happening? I don’t see her being very much in the sharing mood.” Dean sat down on the edge of one of the pastel blue comfortered beds and propped his elbows on his knees. He laced the fingers of his hands together and looked over at Castiel. “So what is your genius plan to not get killed?” Castiel looked to Crowley as Crowley glanced at him and they both shrugged. 

“Boy, that’s instilling lots of confidence in me.” Dean muttered before standing up and pacing the room. 

“This visit is most likely going to be a fact finding mission more than anything. We need to know if his vessel is still damaged from mother’s spell, if he’s incapacitated, or even coherent at this point. We know he has no access to new vessels unless one of us decides to invite him in again...”Crowley glared at Castiel as Cass sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, in a very human gesture.

“I’d tell you I was sorry for how you were treated while I was Lucifer’s vessel…but you know you had it coming. I’m just sorry I had to be witness to some of it.” Castiel's eyes narrowed just a fraction and his mouth turned in a cruel smile before said, "However, when he had you cleaning the floors with your tongue...I got a good laugh about that one." Castiel snipped back as Crowley turned to argue with him some more. Dean was shocked at Castiel's words. He had never seen his angel treat anyone like that. He was jealous of Crowley. Dean flushed at the memory of the last time that jealousy had sprung up.

“HEY!” Sam yelled as he stepped between them,shaking everyone out of their own thoughts. “Stow your crap and let’s get this over with. We can all have some terrific group therapy as soon as this is over. I bet we could get a movie deal out of it.” Sam stayed between the angel and the demon until they stepped back. 

“Shall we Cassie?” Crowley held out his hand, while he words oozed annoyance. 

Castiel looked over at Dean, who was looking out the hotel window. He could see the rigidness with which he stood. “One moment. Can you give us two minutes of privacy?” Castiel gestured toward Dean.

“Is two minutes all it takes for you? Oh alright. Hurry it up! Come along Moose.” Crowley and Sam walked into the adjoining room and shut the door. 

“Dean, come here.” Castiel took two steps toward Dean and Dean whirled around and filled the space between them. Cass wrapped Dean in a hug, feeling how tense the man was. “I’m sorry to put you through this. I know how frustrating it is to be the one left behind. I’d say I wish you could go with me, but I feel better knowing you are here in this…unsettling upbeat hotel room. I will be back very soon. Then we can choose where we go. No more missions unless we choose them. No more Crowley.” Castiel brushed his lips to Dean’s and they kissed urgently. 

“I love you Castiel. You better come back to me in one piece you idiot.” Dean whispered in his ear as they parted. 

“ I love you too Dean. I’ll see you soon…Crowley! I’m ready.” Crowley stalked back in and left the door open between the rooms. Rowena followed them and sat sulkily on the bed with a gem in her hand. Sam saw Dean look toward the gem. 

“ That will help us know what is going on.” Sam explained quietly to Dean. They all looked to Castiel and Crowley as Castiel clapped his hand on the shorter man’s shoulders begrudgingly, locked eyes with Dean, and then they were gone.

Dean immediately sat down as close to Rowena as he dared and looked her straight in the eye. She could see the pain and fear there. Her eyes moved form his face to the space Castiel had just occupied. She patted his hand, in the most mothering way a 300 year old which can, then gazed at the gem in her hand.


	9. Well, that didn't go as planned.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something goes wrong during Castiel and Crowley's scouting mission and Cass comes back bleeding. Dean and Sam put him back together and high tale it back to the bunker to be able to take better care of their injured friend.

They all knew something had gone wrong before Castiel and Crowley ever appeared back in their pastel spewed hotel room. Rowena had been able to give them a vague idea of the goings on right up until the gem glowed a bright red and then dimmed. Dean was on his feet as soon as the two forms appeared back in their room, Castiel soaking wet and Crowley bone dry. Dean expected Crowley to step away from Castiel but tensed when he saw the shorter man guide the Angel to the nearest bed. Cass was clutching his side with blood dripping down his face. Dean remained as calm as he could and darted over to grab Castiel’s other arm and helped lay him down gently on the bed with Crowley’s help. 

Castiel smiled a soft smile, weaker than Dean wanted to see. “Dean. I told you I’d be back soon.” Cass continued to press his hands to a spot on his left side Dean had not seen yet. He noted with relief that the blood on Cass’ face appeared to be from a forehead cut, and Dean knew those were not life-threatening, but bled like a bitch. “Why haven’t you healed Cass? What’s wrong? Let me see your side.” Dean pulled the angel’s hands away from his left side and gently peeled up his wet, blood soaked shirt, stifling a wave of panic that tried to wash over him. He revealed a deep cut in Cass’ side. Why it wasn’t healing he didn’t know. 

“Crowley what the hell happened?” Sam yelled, gesturing toward Castiel as Dean sat beside his wet, shivering form on the bed. 

“He got the drop on us. He IS weakened but he’s still an archangel, and he isn’t helpless. If he hadn't been in a weakened state I would have brought you back a dead angel..." Dean shot his head up to glare harshly at Crowley's words. "He and I won’t be enough to contain him, even in this state. We will need more help before we try again. Lucifer's not going anywhere though, and is not a real threat at this time..” Dean huffed at the statement, “unless he is provoked, Squirrel. We need to keep potential vessels as far away as possible from him. He skewered our dear Cassie as soon as he turned down Lucifer's request for Possession Round 2. He's no interest in possessing a demon so I wasn’t worth the effort. Quite the bigot huh?" Sam rolled his eyes. "Mother, you and I need to work out a way to keep all watercraft, scuba divers, or anything remotely appealing as a vessel warded away from this area until we can get more help.” Crowley glanced at Dean and Cass before adding in a softer tone. “He will heal. Healing wounds from another angel can be draining on a fully charged angel. Healing archangel wounds with the amount of grace Castiel has will take time. He's a tough one though. I'm sure he will heal just fine with some Winchester tender, loving, care." Crowley let that last bit have more snark in it. " Would you rather get him dry and cleaned up here or your bunker? Remember you have a walk back when you get there.”

“We’ll get him cleaned and stitched up here first. We’ll let you know when we’re ready to head back.” Sam walked the two out of the room and latched the door. “Dean, let me help.” Sam walked over to the bed and the two brothers gently sat Cass up against the headboard. To his credit, Cass barely let a hiss of pain escape his lips,which were a concerning light shade of blue. “I’ll get some towels from the bathroom while you get him out of the wet clothes. If his grace is low, he’s practically human right now. We don't need to let his body temperature drop too low while he’s bleeding or he could go into shock or become hypothermic.” Sam walked fast the bathroom and began opening the cabinets for towels.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I was careless and now you’re upset.” Castiel croaked out as Dean began to peel Castiel’ssoaked outer shirt off him, flinching every time Cass winced in pain.   
Dean peeled the wet t-shirt off of his angel next, trying to ignore the blood that dripped from the end of it and ran down Cass’ chest during the removal. “It’s okay Cass. You’ll be okay. I’m just glad you came back. You’re not going down there again, not until you have more help, you hear me?” Sam came back with towels and Dean gently tousled Castiel’s hair dry and wiped the blood from his face. The forehead wound was still oozing blood but he knew it wasn’t life threatening . Sam nudged Dean out of the way to begin working on the side wound which was of their utmost concern. “Get the wet pants off Dean. If he doesn’t have any pajama pants grab a pair of mine. We need to get him warm and he can’t have a shirt till I’m done stitching this.”Sam took another dry towel and put around Cass' shoulders to catch any of the drips off his hair. 

Dean knew Sam was trying to keep him busy, which he was thankful for. Sam already had their little emergency first aid kit they took everywhere with them and had out the needle, thread, and lighter to sterilize the needle. Sam poured alcohol on a cotton pad and wiped the wound clean, for the first time seeing the extent of it. Dean paused while still gripping the edges of Castiel’s pants legs when he saw it . It was at least 4 inches long, and deep. Dean could see the meat that made up Castiel’s vessel glistening inside the wound. He breathed through his mouth, knowing Cass would not die from it, but it made his gut wrench to know the pain he was in. He looked up at the Angel and their eyes met. Cass’ were mere slits from the pain of Sam’s medical care but Dean could see he was strong enough to handle it. He had been through worse. They all had.

He continued removing the wet jeans, which was quite the difficult task. With the wet jeans came the boxers and Sam, being ever the professional and the only level headed Winchester in the room right now, instructed Dean to dry him off then get him in dry clothes. Dean did as he was told just as he saw Sam drag the needle through Cass’ skin for the first time. He wanted to hold Cass’ hand but knew he needed to deal with this first. He dug through Cass’ bag and found a pair of boxers and pajama pants and waited for Sam to be between stitches to suggest moving Castiel off of the now soaking wet comforter to the other bed in the room. Sam helped him to stand up while Dean helped him get into the clean, dry clothes. Sam propped the shorter man up while Dean ran over and threw the comforter back and then came back to help Sam lay him down. Dean pulled the comforter up to Cass' waist. Once Cass was covered in that area, Dean waited impatiently for Sam to finish his stitches. He held a gauze pad to the oozing wound on Cass’ forehead and gazed down into those ice blue eyes. He bent down and laid a kiss on the angel’s cheek and was rewarded with a sigh from Cass before he reached up and took Dean’s free hand in his own. 

When Sam put the last stitch into Castiel’s side, they switched sides so Sam could put a couple of stitches in Castiel’s forehead cut. It had oozed blood the whole time Sam was working so they decided it was best to put a couple in. Dean grabbed the comforter and pulled it up to Cass’ shoulders as soon as Sam was done. He has noticed Castiel shivering slightly harder for the last few minutes. 

“Dean, the shivering is making it hard for me to put the stitches in. Stop being a prude and get under the cover with him. It will get him warm faster. I swear it won’t bother me. Just keep your clothes on and your hands above the waist. I need to get this forehead cut stitched so we can get home sooner than later.” Sam sighed out in frustration and worry as Cass was wracked with another shiver. “Dean. Come on. I would do it myself if I wasn’t stitching. You know I’m faster.”

Dean gave a helpless look at Cass at the last shiver and kicked off his shoes before climbing in beside him and wrapping his arms around him, willing his body to warm up. He put his warm hands on Castiel’s frighteningly cold chest and felt Cass nuzzle into him. It wasn’t immediately noticeable but the shivers did subside a tiny bit and Sam was able to get the last stitch in. Sam stood, stretched his arms and went to his bag to get one of his oversized flannel shirts and tossed it to Dean. “Get this on him. I’m going to get us packed back up and get Crowley to get us out of here. We can take better care of him back at the bunker."

After Dean helped Castiel get the warm, thick shirt on, he had huddled tightly into Dean. He was so tired. His forehead throbbed and his side felt like he was being torn open. He was so cold too. He tucked his icy fingers underneath Dean’s shirt to warm them and Dean hissed.

“Damn it Cass! You’re freezing!” Dean, to his infinite credit, did not remove his icy digits.

“I’m sorry Dean. I’m just so cold. I didn’t have enough grace left to maintain my vessel’s core temperature or dry myself. The ocean floor is quite cold and can only maintain a temperature of between 28.4 to 36 degrees." 

"Thank you Mr. Wizard...and I'm sorry you got hurt." Dean nuzzled his face in Castiel's neck. 

I’m sorry for worrying you so much. I’m just so…sleepy. My grace will be back to normal in a few days I’m sure. It’s just so draining to heal Angel inflicted wounds. I was careless to allow Lucifer to get that close. A few days of rest and I’ll be fine. Really.” Dean wanted to believe his words but Castiel’ body was again wracked with shivers again and his teeth chattered.

“Just rest Angel. We’ll get you home soon. Just rest.” Dean wanted to pull him onto his chest but that would put weight on his injured side. He encouraged Castiel to lie on his right side so Dean could curl up against his back and share his body heat as he wrapped his arms around him. He whispered promises in his ear for only Castiel to hear. Promises of things they would do and places they would see together as soon as he was healed enough to do so. 

Sam came back in and started throwing stuff in their duffel bags and grabbed up the emergency kit. Crowley and Rowena followed in behind them. Sam threw Dean a pair of socks to put on Cass’ bare feet. To their credit, neither said a single comment about them huddled in the bed together. Dean glowered at Crowley over Castiel’s head enough as a warning to keep his mouth shut that he must have finally grown some control over that smart mouth. 

“Crowley is going to take us back first, then come back for Rowena. He’s going to get us as close as he can to the bunker without the wardings interfering.” Sam came over and got one of Cas’ arms and threw it over his shoulder. He stooped so he wouldn’t pull his arm too far up. Dean scrambled out of the bed and helped slip the socks on Cass’ feet before grabbing his other arm. Crowley, damn good of him ,Dean hated to admit, picked up their duffels and put them on his own shoulder before touching Dean’s shoulder. The last thing Dean saw before they were back on that dirt road near the bunker was Rowena tilting her head curiously at them and they were gone.   
\-----------------------------------  
Crowley did a theatrical bow before dropping the duffel bags and poofing without a word. Dean swore.

“It would be easier for me to help Cass and you to carry the duffels. You’re too tall. I got this.” Dean threw the arm of Castiel’s good right side around his neck and Sam threw the straps of all three duffel bags over his shoulder and they made a slow but steady pace back to the bunker. Castiel toughed it out and bit his lip to keep from crying out. As they neared the bunker Cass felt himself get dizzy and he swayed on his feet. Dean looked over, alarmed, as he felt Cass go dead weight for a moment. The bunker was very close now, so Dean made the split second decision to scoop Castiel up in this arms and get them there faster. He staggered a moment, not having realized quite how substantial Castiel actually was. Dean knew he could do this for a short time however and he yelled to Sam to run ahead and open the bunker door. He kept his pace fast. He didn’t have the ability to look at Cass and focus on walking but he glanced down once to see Castiel looking at him, but he didn’t look totally aware. He pushed himself till he got to the bunker door and he was huffing like he had run a marathon. Sam was waiting by the door, arms open to receive Castiel and he walked briskly down the hall with him in his arms and walked past his and Dean’s rooms to push open the door to Cass’ room with his booted foot. Dean ran past him and pulled the blue comforter back so Sam could put him down easier. Dean yanked the comforter back up to Castiel’s shoulders then sat on the edge of the bed, looking down in concern. 

“hey man, you back in the land of the living?” Dean tried to smile but it came out a hard line of his mouth and his forehead scrunched in worry. He heard Sam turn and leave but did not look back. 

Castiel stared up warmly at Dean, his face still much paler than Dean liked. “I got a bit dizzy. I’m sorry for being such a burden Dean.” He turned his face away, ashamed of being so weak. “I’m an angel but it seems like I’m only ever bleeding or broken.” Castiel was wracked with another prolonged shiver. 

“I’ll take you bleeding and broken over not here at all. I’m going to take care of you buddy.” Dean ran a hand lightly through his dark hair, being careful to avoid the fresh stitches on his hairline. “You’re my angel, broken or not.” Sam walked up behind him as he said it. He had a glass of water and several pills in his hand.

“Cass, I’m going to assume since your grace is low that human medicine will work on you, at least for now. I’ve got pain killers and antibiotics. You probably need to take these until you can heal yourself, just to be safe. I’d hate to see you get an infection before you got your grace reboot.” Dean helped Castiel sit up to drink the water and take the pills. It was then that Cass’ stomach growled, betraying another symptom of how weak he actually was.

“Are…you are hungry? That’s not a good thing is it? I…I’ll go get you something from the kitchen.” Dean darted up and walked briskly out of the room. He hurried to the kitchen and dug for anything he could grab quickly. He snatched up some cheese puffs he had bought after hearing Castiel talk about eating them as a human.

Meanwhile, Castiel was looking up at Sam, trying to speak through chattering teeth. “Th...thank you for your help today Sam. I..know Dean could have stitched me up but I appreciate you taking that burden from him…..He is s..s..so strong, but sometimes I think life has done you both a disservice never giving either of you the time to w…worry. Despite that, you have both become remarkable, compassionate p....people. “ Castiel had not intended to make such a lengthy thank you but he rarely got to speak to Sam alone and he wanted him to know what his friendship and acceptance meant. 

Dean hovered by the door, listening to the conversation before clearing his throat and walking in holding the bag of cheese puffs. “I grabbed the first thing I could think that you liked when you were human. It’s no meal but should fill your stomach.” Dean gripped the bag and pulled until the air puffed out. He sat the open bag on the nightstand, within Cass’ reach. "You probably need some hot tea."

“I'll bring him some tea then I'm going to try to get some sleep. I’ll be right down the hall if you guys need me. Try to get some sleep Cass.” Sam walked out and pulled the door to. Sam gestured for Dean to follow him into the hall. “Dean, he needs to stay warm. I know you’re going to stay with him but come get me if he gets worse. It’s a long drive to the nearest hospital if he needs to go.” Dean nodded and looked back in the room to Cass. He thanked his brother and walked back into the room.

Dean shucked off his jeans, socks, and shoes and kicked them into the corner since Cass’ room didn’t have a hamper yet. He made a mental note to get him one next time they went to town. He pulled off his top flannel shirt, leaving him in black boxers and his grey t-shirt. He got into bed on the right side, so he wouldn’t press up against his injured side and he crawled under the cover. Castiel tried to snuggle into him but Dean huffed and shook his head no. 

“Eat first. I don’t care if it’s just a handful but you gotta eat something. I promise I’ll make you a proper breakfast in the morning.” Castiel complied by pulling the bag of puffs into his comforter glad lap and ate until his stomach stopped grumbling. Sam had brought in the hot tea a few minutes later and Cass had sipped on it, his hand shaking so that a few drops of the tea ended up on the comforter The trembling in the angel’s hands did not go unnoticed by Den but he smiled as Cass licked the cheese powder off his fingers, sipped the last of the tea, and wiggled into the pillow. He looked over at Dean and smiled a sleepy smile. He found Dean’s hand under the cover and gripped it tight before his eyes fluttered shut. Dean panicked for a moment, laying his other hand over Cass’ heart. He felt the satisfying thump of his heart beneath his hand. He had only fallen asleep. Dean gingerly laid his head on Castiel’s chest so he could hear the reassuring sound of it beating strong. He listened for quite a while, the sound lulling him into sleep alongside his lover. Right before he fell asleep he whispered, “I love you,” in Castiel’s ear even though he was fast asleep.


	10. Counting My Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel gets sicker overnight, worrying Dean and Sam. They discover one of Castiel's biggest fears. Cass is not a very good human and Dean gets to see the grumpy, impatient person that Castiel can be. Dean enacts Plan: Cheer Cass the Hell Up

It was the middle of the night but the light on the desk continued to shed a warm glow in the room. Dean had decided to leave it on in case he needed to move quickly in the night. Dean was awoken when he felt Castiel shift beside him and moan in pain. He sat straight up and his hands hovered helplessly over Castiel's body, wanting to help in some way. Cass looked over at Dean, his breathing faster than Dean liked. He tried to smile at Dean reassuringly but that made the forehead stitches pull and he winced instead. That made Dean moan in frustration. "Damn it Cass. What can I do?"

"I'm okay Dean. I just hurt and it's cold. I forget sometimes how fragile human forms are." He tried to smirk, but even that came out as a bit of a grimace. "Even ones as attractive as yours is." 

Dean shook his head. " I KNOW you are not trying to flirt right now. You must be delusional."

"I have heard that some people believe humor can help lessen pain. As of now, I cannot validate that statement." Castiel laid his head back in the pillow and tried to shift to get a bit more comfortable. "I do not like this feeling Dean. My stitches are pulling and they itch. My head aches and my tongue is very dry. I feel the oncoming need to urinate and my stomach feels weird. My fingertips ache. Being human is very uncomfortable. "

"Yeah it is. I would have thought you'd have gotten the hang of it from the last time..." Dean leaned over and got the glass of water that was still half full from when Cass took his medicine and handed it to him. "You seemed to do okay then."

"I...I thought we were not to discuss that time." Castiel said quietly with his eyes closed, as if he was too tired to hold his eyes open even when he was awake.

Dean kept talking. It helped his nervousness. Hell he was rambling at this point. "Well...just the part with the reaper. I know I've never asked you much about it. I think I just felt so guilty for...kicking you out.... that I didn't want to know, but I do...want to know. I want to know everything about you that I've taken for granted I knew. I know there’s a lot you don't tell Sam and me from before, stuff we don’t even know to ask you." Dean shrugged. "I mean, you know me better than I know myself most of the time. I'd like to know you like that, when you're ready and stronger." Castiel opened his eyes and nodded softly. Dean squeeze Castiel’s hand…then felt how chill Castiel’s hand still was. He put his hand to his forehead, then pulled it away and ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll be right back.” Dean stood up purposely, threw on pajama pants from Cass’ drawer, and walked off to retrieve Sam. 

Sam sat down beside Castiel on the bed. “Castiel, need to take your temperature. Can you sit up for me?” 

“Of course Sam,” but he struggled to sit up slowly as it pulled the stitches in his side. By the time he was sitting up his face was pale and he was panting. “I’m sorry. I am not accustomed to this type of pain, at least not for extended periods.” Dean stood behind Sam with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pajama pants, staring intently at Castiel.  
“It’s okay Cass. Stomach wounds are really painful since you use your abdominal muscles for everything. I would be more worried if it wasn’t painful to you. That might mean you were in shock. Here, hold his under your tongue until it beeps.” Castiel opened his mouth and allowed the thermometer to be placed under his tongue. 

Dean could not help but feel that Cass looked so small in the bed now, injured and crestfallen. Castiel was not a small man, but with Sam leaning over him, he looked almost childlike. Dean could not imagine what it was like to go from being a warrior of God one moment to almost human the next, or how disorienting it must be. He began to realize just how helpless Castiel must have felt when Metatron stole his grace, and how lost and alone he must have felt. Dean felt a knot forming in his stomach. He felt almost physically ill. He had turned him out on the street at his most vulnerable with a little cash and a good luck. He didn’t consider where he would sleep, how he would earn money without an ID…God he had been so self-involved. Cass had DIED because of Dean, because he had trusted someone else to help him when Dean wouldn’t. Castiel could say it was okay as much as he wanted but it didn’t erase facts. Dean looked up as the thermometer beeped, tears burning under his eyelids that he would NOT let fall, not now. Sam removed the thermometer then glanced at Dean. Sam stood up with the thermometer in hand, patting Castiel’s and encouraging him to close his eyes and rest a bit. He tucked the comforter back around his shoulders before coming to Dean.

“Dean, his temperature is too low. I was worried about infection but the chills, faintness, the temp. It all points to Hypothermia. He’s too cold. He may need to go to the hospital.” 

“NO! No hospitals! They won’t let me leave once I’m there! They won’t ever let me come home!” Castiel sat straight up, ignoring his stitches. His face was a mask of panic. His eyes were wild. “Please Dean! You can both take care of me here. I’ll be fine!” Dean rushed over and sat down on the bed, shushing Cass like a frightened child. 

“Shhh, Cass it’s okay. We wouldn’t take you to that kind of hospital. You may need a doctor, though.” Dean tried to gently nudge Cass to lie down but he fought Dean’s arms with more strength than he would have thought he had at that moment. 

“NO! You left me there once. I deserved my fate then but I won’t go back!” Dean pulled back as if he had been burned. Shit. The look in Castiel’s eyes was NOT a coherent one. He looked at Sam.

“Yeah confusion’s another symptom. Dean…” Sam bit his lip and wrung his hands together.

Dean pulled Castiel into his arms and whispered hurriedly in his ear. “Castiel, it’s okay. I’m not leaving you anywhere. I’m right here with you. It’s okay. It’s okay. Not going anywhere without you.” He patted his hair at the base of his neck and whispered reassurances to him till he felt the other man calm beneath his hands. He pulled back from him and hoped to see more coherency in his eyes. He was met with a look of confusion and fear. 

“Dean? What’s happening? I feel very strange. I don’t want to go to a hospital though. I know you and Sam can help me here. Please…please Dean. Don’t. I promise I’ll feel better soon. My grace just needs time to recharge.” Castiel was pleading with him and it was breaking his heart. Dean knew what hospital Castiel had in mind when he asked them not to leave him. That damned mental ward. The knot in his stomach got bigger as he was reminded of yet another time he had abandoned his friend. The rational part of Dean’s brain knew Castiel had betrayed him first, but all he could see in his head was walking out of that place and not looking back, even when Sam tried to tell him it was wrong. Damn it. This was turning out to be his greatest hits of failing Castiel evening. He swore to himself he would find a way to make all of it right. 

“Okay Cass. Okay. We’ll try helping you here, but if you get worse we have to get you help, okay?” Castiel nodded his head like a scolded child and pulled the covers back to his shoulders, making a show of bundling up. 

“I’m going to get you another shirt and another pair of socks. Hold on.” Dean ran to his room and grabbed an oversized sweatshirt he had tucked in the back of his closet and a pair of socks. He and Sam got both the new articles of clothes on him and Sam offered to go make him some warm tea. Dean knew from the tone in Sam’s offer that he did not approve of not going to the hospital. Truth be told, neither did Dean, but Hell he knew he’d fight being taken there too if their roles were reversed. Dean crawled back in the bed with Cass, propped himself up on the pillow and gently guided Cass to cradle in his arm and lean against his chest. 

“Dean I am very tired.” Castiel mumbled quietly. 

“I know babe. I know. Just let Sam get here with the tea and drink some and we can let you get back to sleep.” Dean hoped that would allow Castiel to settle but he started to fidget next to Dean slightly. 

“Dean..this is embarrassing but I believe I need to urinate…I..I will be right back.” Castiel slowly tried to sit up on his own and made it as far as throwing his legs over the side of the bed before he was panting. “Okay. Maybe I will require…some assistance.” Dean jumped out of bed and ran over to get arms around him and help him up. Castiel swayed on his feet but Dean kept a steady arm around him. 

The trip down the hall was agonizing to them both. Castiel tried to hide the pain every foot step caused his stomach wound but Dean heard every ragged breath. They had to make an agonizingly slow pace to keep Cass from falling but when they made it, Castiel’s pride returned and he insisted upon going on his own. 

“I am at least capable of such a minute task as urinating on my own Dean…” Castiel did allow Dean to leave the door open and stay in the doorway with his back to him. Castiel slowly turned the handle of the sink to wash his hands when he was done and shakily dried his hands on the hand towel. He and Dean then made their way back at a slightly, but not by much, quicker pace. Sam was waiting on them when they got back in, cup of tea in hand. Dean got Castiel settled back into bed before crawling back in himself and insisting Cass drink it all before he could go back to sleep. Castiel shot him a very pissy look that Dean valiantly ignored and kissed his forehead instead. 

Sam settled himself in the arm chair they had placed in the corner of Castiel’s room for reading and stretched his legs out in front of him. “I guess we’re all bunking together the rest of the evening.”

Dean started to argue but Sam cut him off with a withering glare. “Neither of you will agree he needs to go to the hospital so I’m going to stay here and make sure he doesn’t get any worse. If he does, we’re going, if I have to drag you both there to do it. End of story.” 

Dean and Castiel both gave Sam a look at that but Dean nodded his head minutely to Sam in agreement. When Castiel had finished his tea, Dean leaned over and placed the cup on the nightstand and tucked the comforter up to Cass’ chin, kissed him on his chilly lips and told him to rest. Castiel murmured “Love you Dean” against his lips before burrowing into the cover and Dean’s arms and letting his eyes finally close. 

Dean and Sam looked at one another and Dean rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand before giving a silent salute to Sam and closing his eyes, once again lulled into sleep by Castiel’s breathing. He just didn’t like that it was faster than the first time he had fallen asleep. Unbeknownst to Dean or Castiel, Sam stayed awake, reading old texts from the library, occasionally quietly walking over to feel Castiel’s forehead. 

Several hours later the sun was coming up outside the bunker. Sam decided he had waited long enough and he woke Castiel to take his temperature again. He was pleased to see coherency in the angel’s eyes and a bit more color to his face. Dean awoke as soon as Sam called Cass’ name, fearing something had happened while he slept. Sam was only instructing Castiel to let him take his temperature again. They all waited tensely for the reading, which appeared moments later. Sam looked at it with a blank face, then sighed in relief.

“It’s a bit better. I don’t think we’re in the clear but we can avoid the hospital at this point, but he still needs to rest and stay warm. Don’t push yourself Cass. If your grace doesn’t restore in a couple of days we’ll have to worry about infection from your stomach wound." Sam pressed his lower back his hands. “I think I’m going to try get a little rest while I can. Dean, Cass needs to eat something soon. Come get me if you need anything.” 

“Thanks Sammy.” Dean said quietly as Sam walked out of the room. 

“Anything for my brothers.” Sam said without looking back. Dean smiled softly as Castiel looked up at him warmly and kissed his head again. He was pleased that the previous chill was dissipating and he could begin to feel a soft warmth. “You need to eat Cass. I’ll go make you something real quick.” 

Castiel was tempted to cling to Dean’s arm but didn’t want to be needy and the gnawing in his stomach was growing annoying. He was just happy the chill had left his insides. He laid back and closed his eyes to await Dean’s return. Before he knew it he felt Dean gently nudging him awake. His eyes came into focus to Dean holding a plate that smelled delicious. His stomach growled in agreeance and Castiel was rewarded with a smile from his hunter, the first genuine one since he had been hurt. Cass gently sat up, still wincing from pain. Dean sat the plate on his lap and he looked down to see scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. 

“Sorry it’s nothing fancy but I didn’t want to leave you back here alone for too long. You know… I only make breakfast in bed for the hot angels.” Dean smirked. 

“My internal temperature is not running hot Dean. It is actually quite the opposite.” Castiel had tilted his head like he did when he didn’t get one of Dean's jokes then his mouth fell open in a small o shape. “Oh. Was that a compliment on my physical appearance?”

Dean shook his head and chuckled. “Yes, you dork. Now, eat something. We didn’t have a tv to put in here but I’m going to get Sam’s out of his room today. We can watch whatever you want.”

Castiel picked up the fork and took a tentative bite of the eggs before chewing appreciatively and taking a sip of the warm tea Dean had brought as well and put on the night stand. “It’s very good Dean. I’m sorry I’m such a burden. I will make it up to you and Sam both somehow.” Castiel took a bite of the bacon and closed his eyes while he chewed. “Mmm. I forgot how good food tastes as the sum of its parts. It’s much preferable to experiencing it on a molecular level. That is one thing I miss from being human, one of the few things.” Cass took another bite and let a soft moan escape his lips. He blushed slightly as Dean raised an eyebrow at his reaction. “It’s just so…delicious..the grease and the crunch and the decadence of it. I think I like bacon very much Dean.”

“I can tell that. I think I might be jealous.” Dean broke off a small piece of the bacon and playfully held it up to Cass’ lips, teasing. Castiel smiled and put his mouth over Dean’s fingers, sliding his warm tongue over his fingertips, then sliding his mouth off his fingers and licking his tea moistened lips as he ate the small piece, looking innocently at Dean. 

“Son of a bitch.” Dean cursed, his pupils dilating as Castiel watched with satisfaction written all over his face. “You are completely impossible. You are literally bedridden, held together with stitches and prayers, and you’re performing oral on my fingers. You are either a sadist or just like to see me squirm.” 

“Cannot it not be both?” Castiel cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

Dean closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath. “Castiel, my Angel of the Lord, you are treading on dangerous ground.” He opened his eyes narrowly. “You know damn well I can’t do anything with you until you are healed. You’re a damned tease.”

“Apparently other parts of my anatomy are not aware that I am an invalid.” Castiel smiled sheepishly and adjusted the comforter to hide his meaning. “I am very aware that I am in no physical shape to crave sexual relations, but as I have learned, humans do not always have their priorities in line and I am, at least temporarily, only human.” Castiel shrugged apologetically and took another bite of the bacon, locking eyes with Dean as he did so. Dean shifted his seated position and Castiel could see his words did not fall on deaf ears, as he could see the line of Dean’s dick pressing against the thin pajama pants. “And apparently so are you.”

Dean gave Castiel a very heated look before breaking off another piece of bacon and holding it out to him with his thumb and pointer finger as he had earlier. Castiel tilted his head and quirked an eyebrow. “Go on Cass.” Dean said as he licked his lips slowly and palmed himself through his pants. Castiel quickly got the idea and slid his mouth over Dean’s fingers again, sliding his tongue between them and gliding off slowly , then quickly eating the piece of bacon. He made a show of moaning at the taste. They repeated this game several times, Dean not allowing Castiel to lean forward lest he hurt his stitches but continuing to rub himself through his pants. 

“Dean I can help..” Castiel said softly. 

“No Cass. No strenuous activity for you. I’ll…I’ll just go and…” Dean pointed a thumb at the door and mumbled.

“Let me watch.” Castiel said with a commanding tone than he had not heard since Cass was injured. Dean’s pulse raced at the order. He nodded silently then got up and closed and locked the bedroom door before returning. He slid off his pants and let them puddle to the floor. He climbed onto the bed in his t-shirt and black boxers and lied beside Cass. He swallowed hard and rolled his head to the left and let his eyes meet Castiel’s as he slid his boxers below his hips. He gripped his hard dick in his right hand and began to pump it, letting his eyes roam freely over Castiel’s face. He watched he other man's eyes fill with frustration and longing. 

“Babe, I promise, as soon as you are better, I’m going to have you all to myself. “ Dean gasped out. Castiel leaned over gingerly, and nipped at Dean’s ear, making Dean moan as he continued to pump himself.

“I’m taking you at your word there. This is the most frustrating feeling I have.” Castiel sighed against Dean’s neck and whispered, “Come for me. That would make me feel so much better Dean.”

Dean gasped and his eyes rolled back in his head at Castiel’s words and he pumped faster, moaning out Cass’ name in heated whispers. The Angel watched in rapt fascination, memorizing how he liked to touch himself and storing it away for future reference. He noted Dean’s movements, how he slid his thumb over his tip every few strokes. He saw Dean was close so he leaned over and said only, “Come Dean,” in a gravelly whisper, and watched with pleasure as Dean spilled his seed all over his own chest. It was fascinating to watch and before Castiel could think what he was doing, he leaned over Dean’s panting body and licked a small trail of Dean’s essence into his mouth. Dean looked stunned as Castiel smiled. 

“Molecules remember? I knew I might not get another chance as a human. I was….curious…as to what you taste like, and I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity,” Castiel explained to the stunned face of his hunter.

Dean looked wildly at Cass before leaning over and kissing him hard on the mouth, forcing his tongue passed Castiel’s teeth, dipping to taste himself on the angel’s tongue. “You are just chock full of wicked ideas Cass.” Dean spoke softly against his lips. “I’m looking forward to finding out what else is going on in that head of yours. The sooner, the better.” Dean looked down and frowned that the plate of food was still quite full. “Now I’ve gone and distracted you from your breakfast. You eat. I’m going to go clean up. I’ll be back shortly.” Dean cupped Castiel’s face in his and gave him one more deep kiss before heading off to the bathroom. Castiel began to eat the rest of the food and sip his tea as Dean exited the room.  
\---------------------------------------  
Dean had decided to take a quick shower instead of just cleaning up. He needed to clear his head for a few minutes and Castiel was doing well enough to be away from for that long. He ran the warm water through his hair, rinsing out the shampoo. He then rinsed off the soap bubbles from his chest and stood under the steamy water for a while. This had been a weird week to say the least. Dean didn't feel like he had had time to catch a breath between everything that had gone down. From his mother walking out to he and Castiel falling into bed together to him playing nursemaid to his invalid now-lover and actually really enjoying doting upon someone he cared about. He knew a psychologist would love to get his hands on Dean's life. He turned off the water, stepped out on the mat, and wrapped one fluffy white towel around his waist while running another towel through his hair.

He slid the flat of his hand through the fogged mirror surface and ran his other hand over the scruff of his chin. He really needed to shave but he didn’t want to be gone from Cass too long. That thought startled him. He felt a raw need to be near him now that he had allowed himself what they had together. He was starved for affection from him that he had denied himself for years. He wanted to be able to go back in time and yell at himself to really look, see what you could have if you would just stop fucking it up. If he had stopped pushing Castiel away and paid attention, so much of their huge problems could have been avoided. Dean clenched his fist and punched the counter. What an idiot he had been and all because he had been afraid. He had been afraid of what he felt. He had been afraid of being called gay.

He didn’t even know what he actually was…He had been with a lot of women, and enjoyed it. No denying that. He had never been with another man though. He appreciated an attractive man if he saw one in passing but he had never thought to take a man to bed, until he met Cass. As Cass had tried to comfort him by saying, Dean understood he wasn’t really a man. If Dean was being totally honest with himself, which he was at this moment, he knew that it wasn’t the package Dean had initially been attracted to. It was the very essence of who Castiel was. He was brave, selfless, courageous, loyal, and had gone to war with Dean, even for Dean, so many times. Cass had followed him to literal Hell and back and every realm in between. Dean didn’t deserve such devotion but he was just selfish enough to accept it, and he would not fuck it up this time. Hell, he’d just call himself CasSexual and stop trying to label himself for today. It was making his head hurt. He wrapped the damp towel around his shoulders and opened the door to head back to Castiel’s room, practically aching to be near his angel again. 

Castiel smiled proudly at Dean and gestured toward the empty plate when Dean walked back in the room. The meal seemed to have done him good as he looked stronger even from afar. His face was no longer so pale. He did look a bit disgruntled though when he realized Dean was wearing nothing but a towel. The would-be-Angel actually crossed his arms and huffed. 

“You are an asshole Dean Winchester.” Castiel grated out. Dean held his hands out in a questioning gesture. 

“What the hell did I do?” Dean asked, exasperated but trying not to smile at the annoyed look Castiel had. He was actually enjoying Castiel’s human reactions.

“After just telling me we can’t have sexual relations until I am healed you parade yourself into my room in nothing but a towel. I stand by my statement. Asshole.” Cass explained as he closed his eyes to nothing but slits; angry, hypnotically blue slits that Dean was falling sway to.

“It wasn’t intentional Mr. Grumpy. I decided to take a shower instead of just wiping off. I thought you could use a break from my wit and good looks…” Dean was trying now to get even a fraction of a smile out of Castiel. 

“Dean, I’m stitched together like something out of one of those horror movies you like, my stomach still hurts, I need to go to the bathroom again, and I feel pungent from not having showered. With the stitches in, I can’t shower. I’m craving sexual intercourse and you say I can’t have that either. Human emotions are spiraling around in my brain. I can’t focus on one task without getting distracted by another thought first. Grumpy would be a very accurate descriptor.” Castiel sighed, followed it with a frustrated huff, and worked to put his legs over the edge of the bed. Dean recognized he was trying to stand up and went over to help. 

“Dean I can do it myself. Put some damn pants on and let me go to the bathroom. I love you Dean...but I am very…grumpy..right now. I am not a very good companion at this moment in time.” Dean rolled his eyes at the stubborn angel but did as he asked and grabbed some dark green boxer briefs and clean pajama pants out of the drawer as Castiel slowly stood up and was working on the least painful way to walk without pulling his stitches. He dropped the towel and was sliding the boxer briefs on when he felt it. He could almost feel Castiel’s eyes on him. He looked back at him, whose eyes were filled with lust and frustration. Dean definitely knew Castiel was not immune to horniness when he was full angel but realizing Cass was almost human right now, his emotions were probably going nuts. Dean had a wave of sympathy wash over him as he watched his frustrated angel try to hobble to the bathroom. 

“Damn it Cass, let me help.” Dean pleaded as he slipped the pajama pants on and walked over and forcefully took Cas by the arm. 

Castiel sighed and put some of his weight on Dean as they made their way to the bathroom. “I now acknowledge I suffer from the sin of pride, Dean. Add it to the list of ways I fail as an Angel. Four out of Seven.” Dean frowned. Apparently while he had been having a self-realization in the shower, Castiel had been having a bit of a pity party, a very human thing to do. Dean would have to do something to help shake the bad mood off him..

When they got to the bathroom, Dean again turned his head and leaned against the bathroom door until he was done. When he could tell Cass was done he turned back and said. “How about I help you get cleaned up a little? That’ll make you feel a little better.” Castiel nodded his consent. “Here. I can wash your hair in the sink.” Dean went and grabbed the shampoo out of the shower, a large waterproof bandage, and two towels. He leaned one towel against the edge of the sink so Cass could lean on it without digging into his stomach wound and hung the other on the rack beside him. He gently applied the bandage over Castiel’s head stitches to help avoid getting them wet. 

He turned on the water and tweaked it until it felt the hot side of warm. He gently bent Castiel over the sink, but stood to the side so as not to tease or frustrate him further. He guided his dark hair under the water and worked his fingers through to make sure it was all saturated, then he worked the shampoo through, smiling when he heard Castiel hum with pleasure. Dean massaged Castiel’s scalp with his fingertips, working the shampoo in, then rinsing it all out, working his fingertips through his hair and kneading his scalp until he was satisfied his hair was squeaky clean. After he turned off the water he scooped up the towel and gently patted Cass hair till it wouldn’t drip on him and then wrapped the towel around Castiel’s shoulders. He gently helped Cass stand straight again and Dean was rewarded with angel eyes that looked almost drunk. 

“That was very enjoyable Dean. Thank you.” Dean was happy he was helping negate his angel’s bad mood. He had another idea that might help..

“I’m glad Angel. Let’s get back to the room. I’ll get the tv from Sam’s room and we can watch something.” Dean watched happily as Castiel moved a bit better going back to the room. Was he healing? Dean didn’t want to broach the subject just when Cass was getting cheered up, so he didn’t. 

Dean got Castiel back into bed and went to get Sam’s help setting up the tv. Sam was not opposed since he could watch anything in the tv room he wanted while Cass was bedridden. Together, Sam and Dean walked back into Castiel’s room with a small tv, controller, and the cables. They placed it on Castiel’s dresser and worked to hook it up.

“Thanks Sammy. We’ll move it back as soon as Cass can get out of bed easier.” 

“No problem Dean. I’m going to go into town for groceries. Text me anything you guys want.” Dean thanked him and crawled back into bed with Cass as Sam closed the door.  
Dean took the controller and started scrolling through Netflix. “Anything you want to watch?”

Castiel was snuggled next to Dean, lying on Dean’s left arm. He shrugged, “Nothing in particular. Anything is fine.” Dean found a mindless comedy he hoped Cass might enjoy and waited a few more minutes before enacting plan: Cheer Cass the Hell Up. 

Castiel was decently engrossed in the show when Dean gently tugged his arm out from under him. The angel frowned. Damn if he wasn’t needy as a human, and Dean didn’t mind at all really. It felt good to be needed for once. He leaned over and whispered, “Be good and I’ll help you feel better. You can’t do anything to pull those stitches though.” He pulled back and smiled at Castiel’s wide eyes and he slid down the bed, dragging the comforter with him. He kneeled between Cass’ legs and laid his right hand on his boxer clad dick. To his delight Castiel was already growing under his hand. Dean leaned down and gripped the elastic band of Cass’ boxers with his teeth and pulled them down, Castiel helping by gently lifting his hips up to let the boxers slide over his ass. 

“This is new territory for me. I’ve only ever received before….” Dean decided he better shut up now, remembering the last time he had brought up a similar topic that made Cass jealous. Dean laid a kiss on Cass’ now hard dick and heard Castiel whisper something. “Huh Cass?”

“Lust and Envy Dean. I’m counting my sins.” Castiel looked at him with those same lust blown eyes, gazing at him with complete devotion. Dean swallowed hard.

“Just hold on Cass. I’m going to help.” Dean was intimidated by this because he had never done this ever. However, he was mesmerized by the idea of it. He knew Castiel had never experienced this before either and he wanted to give this to him. He slid his tongue from base to tip of Cass and was rewarded by a loud moan. This urged Dean on and he experimentally took the tip in his mouth, giving it soft licks before moving his tongue along the slit. 

“Damn it Dean!” Dean smirked around Castiel’s tip and slowly slid him in his mouth. He felt Cass tense and glanced at him. He was gripping the sheets but was determinedly not moving. He looked down at Dean and laid one hand lovingly on Dean’s head before lying his head back on the pillow. Dean slid him down as far as he dared without making himself gag, then slid up again, running his tongue up as he went. He put his right hand at the base of Cass and began taking the remainder of him in his mouth, moving him in and out, flicking his tongue in new ways. He made mental notes of what made Castiel squirm and gasp the most. He felt him panting above him. 

He stopped momentarily to ask, “You okay love?” 

Castiel gazed down at Dean. “Heavens’ yes. Please don’t stop.” 

Hearing those words spurned Dean on. He began sucking him off with more earnest, getting more confident as he went. When he needed a moment to breath he pumped his hand up and down Cass’ seeping cock. He was pretty sure Castiel was close. “Cass…”No Response from his lust drowned angel. “Castiel, is it safe to keep my eyes open? I mean, no grace means no burning eyeballs right? I..I want to see you come.” Dean blushed but pumped Cass’ cock as he waited for his answer. Castiel looked at him like a drowning man, trying to find words.

“Yes. Yes Dean. I feel utterly human.” Castiel grunted as Dean put his mouth back on his dick, “but if I DO tell you to close your eyes, do it immediately! I will be able to tell if…Oh Dean, I’m so close!” Dean continued to move his mouth up and down on Cass but angled himself so that he could watch. This might be Dean’s only chance to see this without his eyeballs melting and he was determined to see it. Castiel locked eyes with Dean just in time to see Cass' eyes shine a very, very faint blue, like a bulb that was about to spark and go dark. Dean almost turned away but just as he was about to, Castiel came, hot and wet down Dean’s throat. The look in Castiel’s eyes was mesmerizing, and though Dean knew his true form could not show, there was a flicker of a moment he saw him. It was like when a picture was overlaid on another, and it was only for the briefest of seconds. It was so faint Dean wasn’t sure he saw it at all before he was distracted by the taste of Castiel on his tongue. Dean thought he would not enjoy this part but something about it being Cass, he swallowed it down, letting some lie on his tongue as he finished and crawled back up and kissed the other man, letting his tongue dip into his mouth, making sure the angel could taste his own essence on Dean’s tongue. Dean pulled the cover back up to Castiel’s shoulders then laid his head on his pillow and looked over at Cass, who was the picture of satisfaction and contentment. 

“That was very enjoyable Dean. I feel much better now.”

“Glad to be of service Angel….Now we better get you dressed before Sam gets home and things get awkward.”


	11. Humor Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam realized that Castiel is healing and suggests they get a bit of fresh air. Dean makes Cass let him dress him and Castiel wants to do know what this thing between them is called.

When Sam came back from the store, he peeked in on his brother and their angel. The door was open so he thought it should be safe to enter. He leaned against the door frame and looked in unnoticed because the tv had them both distracted and looking away from the door. Dean and Castiel were wrapped around one another as they watched. Sam recognized the show, a silly comedy Dean liked. Cass was lying on his uninjured right side, his head resting on Dean’s outstretched arm. Cass had his left hand lying on Dean’s bare chest in a casually possessive way, right over Dean’s heart. Dean’s left arm might have been trapped under Castiel’s head but his left hand was lightly gripping the angel’s shoulder, his pointer finger dragging lazy lines. The tension that Sam had always felt coming off them in waves was gone. In its wake was left, what appeared to Sam as an outsider, was two people who channeled all that past tension into constant touch. He had noticed since the fateful day Dean decided to stop being a repressed asshole that he initiated much of the touches. He was always near Cass, if not outright touching him in some way. Around Sam they had been innocent enough, thank Chuck. Sam was still haunted by the memories of Dean Past where he had walked in at very, very awkward times. For his sake, he was very grateful the two seemed to be…mostly discrete. Sam smiled softly and cleared his throat to alert the two he was there. 

Dean and Castiel both jumped comically as Sam made them aware of his presence. To Dean’s eternal credit and proof of his maturity, he didn’t pull away or stop touching Cass. In the past Castiel would have been half thrown across the room in Dean’s effort to hide it from Sam. Good on Dean, Sam thought. “Just wanted to let you guys know I was back. Cass I probably need to look at your stitches and see how they’re holding up. Have you felt like your grace is returning yet?”

“I feel stronger today Sam, but I still feel very human. I believe that would conclude my grace has still not returned.” Castiel looked over as he felt Dean tense at his side. “But it will return, Dean. It has taken significant time before but it was from more significant injuries. I expect it should return within a day or two.” Dean unconsciously crinkled his forehead with worry and looked at Sam. Sam walked over and sat gingerly on the edge of bed. 

“ Cass can I see your side wound?” Castiel nodded but frowned as Dean pulled his arm out from under him to sit up so he could see as well. Dean had intentionally ignored looking closely at the wound. It made his gut twist in weird ways to see that crooked line of stitches above Castiel’s tattoo. Sam, however, could look at it in a more clinical way. Sam pulled the comforter back and laid a hand at the top of the wound and put a finger on either side of his stitches. He tugged the skin very gently, feeling Dean’s watchful eyes on him. “Cass, you are healing, and not human slow either. If this was me or Dean, the wound would still be open if not for the stitches. Yours appears to be almost closed. You may not be feeling your grace returning because it’s channeling itself into healing you. Are you still really painful?” 

“I still hurt Sam but the pain is not as overwhelming as it was. Dean still had to help me to the bathroom earlier but I felt I moved easier than the evening before.” Castiel then looked to Dean for confirmation. Dean nodded his agreeance, but his eyes were lost in thought. Sam did not recognize the look on his face, so he thought it best not to ask. 

“We might need to get these stitches out soon. If your’ healing, I don’t want them to grow into your skin. I bet the forehead stitches can come out now. That wound was not nearly as bad as this one. Are they itching Cass?” Sam started poking and prodding at Castiel’s forehead and seemed please.

“They itch very much. I have dutifully not scratched at them, as Dean told me it would bring infection.” Cass gingerly touched them as Sam was looking at them. “I would like them removed if at all possible.”

Sam studied the stitches, pushing Castiel's skin this way and that and then nodded to himself. "They can come out. I'll get our suture scissors out of the kit." Sam stood up and walked out purposefully. 

Now that Castiel knew the stitches were coming out, he began mindlessly rubbing his fingers along them. "How many times have you had stitches Dean?" Castiel asked.

Dean snorted and scratched behind his ear. "More times than I can keep track of Cass. Before you came along and started being able to heal us, we seemed to always get some kind of injury that required em. The worst is on the back. You can’t find a comfortable way to sleep because everything makes them pull on your skin." Dean lifted his shirt and turned his back to Cass, gesturing to an area on his back that had a six inch long scar that was very faint. "Damn poltergeist threw me into a glass table. Stung like a bitch for a couple of weeks." 

Castiel slid his fingers along the faint scar, watching as goose bumps covered Dean's back. "Are you cold Dean?" Castiel's tone was dry and humorless. He really didn't know the effect he had on him.

Dean took a deep, steadying breath and let it out. “No Cass. Not cold.” He settled his shirt back on and turned back around. Castiel was looking at him again like he could see his soul, hell maybe he could when he was full power…He’d never asked. Dean was about to ask him just that when Sam came back in with the suture scissors. 

“Okay Cass. This shouldn’t hurt at all but it might tickle a little as we take them out. Sam nudged Dean over, rolled his eyes, and leaned over to whisper to Castiel like Dean wasn’t sitting right there. “Cass, I’ve never seen my brother so clingy. Your good for him.” Sam elbowed Dean like he was still in his way and began to snip the stitches. Castiel locked eyes with Dean while they were removed, his face remaining mostly blank. Sam’s fingers moved nimbly over the few stitches. “Done! If you are healing, the stitch marks should fade soon.” Sam stood up and looked at the clock on the wall. “Cass, since your healing…how would you like to go out to eat? You could get more choice of food, and since you can actually taste it, thought you might like to pick something you’ve never had. If you or Dean thinks it would be too much for you….”

Castiel would have leapt out of the bed if he could have. “Oh! That would be wonderful. I am feeling…restless. I believe Dean may be feeling the same being stuck in this room with me.I have been somewhat bad-tempered today…” Castiel looked over and Dean smiled warmly. 

“If you would enjoy it Cass, let’s go. I can help you get dressed. A little fresh air would do us all some good. Be up in a few Sammy.” Dean clapped Sam on the shoulder, walked him out of the room, and shut the door. “Alright Ken Doll, I get to dress you up. Humor me.” Castiel looked nervously at Dean then at the closet. 

“Dean….” Castiel croaked out nervously. 

“Don’t be that way Angel. I’ll keep your stitches in mind. Humor me.” Dean kissed Cass on the forehead and he told Cass he’d be right back and left the room. Castiel sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Dean to return. He gingerly poked at his stitches while he waited, noting that Sam was correct that it was healing faster than human pace. Castiel huffed impatiently. The sooner the better. Being an invalid, urinating, being required to eat; it was all just so taxing. Being human also brought back painful memories to the forefront of his mind that he preferred to leave back. He happily shook those thoughts aside as Dean came back, lopsided, cheesy grin plastered on his face. He had something behind his back as he stepped forward. 

“I…I found this shirt a while back and I told Sammy I bought it because it’s Zepellin but really..it reminded me of you.” Dean held out a navy blue t-shirt with symbols on the front that Castiel did not recognize. Dean flipped it around to the back and it had a verse written in white, surrounded by…angel wings. The verse read “If My Wings Should Fail Me Lord, Please Meet Me With Another Pair.” 

“I..I didn’t ever show it to you..I wanted to give it you after I bought it but didn’t know how. I know you miss your wings, and I can’t do anything to fix that for you. But I thought..I can give you wings…I know they are only symbolic but you know…you’re still my Angel, wings or not…It was this or suggest wing tattoos…Still not opposed to that though. That Enochian tattoo really gets me going.” Dean laughed nervously to relieve his tension, while still holding out the t-shirt to a silent Castiel. Finally Castiel moved, right into Dean’s arms, squashing the t-shirt between them. He wrapped Dean in a hug, pressing on his stitches and hissing in pain. 

“Damn it Cass. Stitches!” Dean chided him but hugged him back tightly. 

Castiel pulled back from Dean, only slight pain showing on his face. He snatched up the tshirt and stared for just a moment before quickly removing his other shirts and sliding it on over his head and pulling it into place. Dean stared appreciatively then went and snatched up a pair of jeans from Castiel’s drawer. It was actually an older pair of Dean’s that he had donated to Castiel’s wardrobe. He tossed the jeans and the other man slid off his pajama pants, not nearly a smoothly as he had done using his Angel mojo only days before. Dean could not think of a way Castiel could take his pants off that would not leave him wanting to applaud however. He stood mesmerized, staring as Cass slid the pants up his leg, snapping the button, and dragging the zipper into place. The pants hit below the stomach wound so it would not interfere, Dean noted happily. Dean loved that his pants fit Castiel in all the right places. Dean grabbed some tennis shoes from the floor of Cass' closet and encouraged him to sit on the bed while he helped change his socks and tie his shoes. Bending over to tie shoes would have been a nightmare on Cass' stomach. Dean kneeled at Cass' feet, tying the laces tight. He looked up from the floor and ran his hands from Castiel's ankles up to his thighs and gave him a mind-melting, smoldering look. 

"When those stitches come out, whether your human or Angel, we're going to get some alone time somewhere, and do whatever we want." Dean spoke slyly. 

"I would enjoy that very much Dean. I feel very frustrated to be denied time with you just when we've.." Castiel trailed off and looked at Dean thoughtfully,a curious look in his eye. "What is this we are doing Dean? I know there are different names for different types of relationships but I would like to know which one this is defined as on human terms..Since my understanding of human relationships is not vast, of course. My inquiry is based simply on my desire to better understand human relationships of course. Purely for academic purposes..."Castiel looked at the floor, pretending to smooth the hem of his shirt. 

Dean swallowed hard and used his hand to prop up to get up off the floor. He held a hand out to Cass to signal for him to let him help him get off the bed. Castiel gripped his hand and Dean pulled him up and used his forward momentum to pull him into his arms. "Well Cass, that is a complicated question, and I'm not very good with labels. Hell, I don't even know what this thing between us makes me, let alone what to call it. Let's let that be a topic for another time. Sam I'm sure is waiting on us." 

"Very well, Dean."

Dean could have sworn that was an edge of annoyance in his Angel's tone but he shrugged it off and they went to meet Sam, hand in hand.


	12. Just Desserts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Cass go out to get some fresh air and eat. Dean gets jealous and decides it's best to define their relationship. Castiel's Grace returns, as does someone else.

They had to drive about an hour out to find a good diner. Living in the middle of nowhere definitely had it's drawbacks. It was a small town diner but looked very promising from the road. The three handsome men walking in together definitely got the attention of the locals. The Winchesters and the Angel all tried to blend in, they really did. However, they just didn't fit. Sam nonchalantly went over to an empty booth and flopped down. Castiel slid in on the opposite side and Dean slid in beside Cass. A pretty waitress with curly, shoulder length red hair came over to their table, clutching her notepad and pen. Dean noticed the other two waitresses behind the counter glaring at her. They must have fought over the table. Hah. 

The waitress handed menus out to all three men before getting their drink orders and nervously tucking her hair behind her ears. She glanced behind her as she walked away. The three men poured over their menus, naming out items that sounded good. Dean leaned over Cass' shoulder and pointed out food he thought he might enjoy. When the waitress returned they had made their decisions. Dean ordered a double cheeseburger with slaw and fries. Sam ordered a BLT and fries. It was Castiel's turn.

"Yes ma'am, I would like the fried chicken plate with french fries please." Castiel smiled friendly as he handed the menu back. The waitress seemed to get flustered as her hand brushed against his while taking the menu. 

"Is....Is there anything..else you need?" Her eyes were only for Castiel, much to Dean's annoyance.

"No thank you. That will be sufficient." Castiel nodded and went to talking to Dean about a song they had heard in the Impala on the way over he had questions about. The waitress seemed to pout then walked away with a slight huff. Dean had a slight look of indignation on his face at having witnessed this. 

"Man that was rude! I'm right here and she's throwing herself at you." Sam and Castiel both looked to Dean curiously." And you!" Dean turned on Cass. "What gives with the big blue eyes and the smiling? Don't you realize you were flirting with her?"

"Dean, don't be an asshole. If this had been a year ago I would be eating alone while you ran off with her and befouled the Impala. You have no moral high ground here. Besides, that was just Cass being friendly." Sam glowered at him, willing him to shut up. 

"Dean, it was not my intention to insinuate I wanted to have sexual relations with the waitress. You are the only person I wish to have those with. I would be glad to tell her I was in a relationship...if I knew what to call it." Castiel looked up at the ceiling before rubbing his neck and finding something fascinating to look at out the window. Dean looked hard at Cass with his mouth slightly agape. Did...did Castiel just roll his eyes?

Did..did Castiel just roll his eyes at HIM? He was absolutely not overreacting about this, he was sure. His Angel, who did not understand social cues, had just rolled his eyes because Dean would not discuss what to call their relationship. He was learning how to human a bit too well. He looked over at Sam, who had found something very fascinating to look at outside as well, but whose mouth was quirked up in a smirk. Dean sat there looking at the two idiots and then decided he could play this game as well. He clapped his hands together, stood up, and walked over to the waitress. 

Castiel turned and watched in horror as Dean was talking to the waitress, gesturing over at Cass. What in Heaven's name was he doing? Dean smiled charmingly at her and then walked off to the bathroom. The waitress looked quite flustered and her face was pink as she ran behind the counter to check on her orders. Dean came walking back from the bathroom and plopped down at the booth. He slid his hand behind Castiel's back, laying a relaxed hand on his shoulder and tucking Cass closer in to his side. Castiel tensed up, sensing a trap.

"Dean...what did you do?" Castiel croaked out, his blue eyes wide. Shit. He had forgotten how Dean liked to prank his brother. He looked over at Sam for reassurance, and found none. Sam looked equally as confused and concerned.

"Oh nothing. I just asked the pretty waitress you like so much to add something to our order." 

It was a few minutes later when the waitress came scurrying over with two trays full of food for the guys. She placed the food in front of each of them, never looking over at Dean or Cass. Her face was pink and she gave her smile only to Sam as she left. They ate in relative silence and were just finishing up when the same waitress brought over three pieces of pie, one with a lit candle in it. She stood at the head of the booth

"Your boyfriend told us it was your birthday and said he wanted to give you just desserts...But the only dessert we have is pie. It's pecan! Here! Happy Birthday!" She placed the pies in front of all of them then almost ran away in embarrassment. 

Castiel stood staring at the pie with the lit candle in front of him. Dean leaned over in his ear and said "My obnoxious, Angel boyfriend should make a wish on his just desserts." Castiel glowered at Dean to hide his racing heart. Boyfriend..while the term was not accurate, he was very satisfied with the title. He leaned over and blew out the candle, winking at Dean. Sam stuffed his face with the pie and pretended not to see anything.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The ride home was lighthearted. Sam allowed Castiel to ride shotgun and Dean let Sam choose the songs on the radio, even if they weren't as good of choices as he would have made. They let the windows down and sang along to all the songs they knew. Castiel did his best but just enjoyed the feel of the wind through his hair. It was almost like flying. He felt much better, he was happy, and Dean Winchester was his boyfriend. 

Dean stole glances at Castiel in his Led Zeppelin t-shirt and the leather jacket he had insisted he bring so he would not get cold. Damn. Watching the wind whip through Castiel's hair took ages, maybe eons of worry from his face. It was breathtaking to watch an Angel lose all their cares, even if but for a moment.

When they got back to the bunker, Sam noted how well Castiel was getting around and wanted to look at the stomach stitches again. Castiel tugged his shirt up as soon as Sam asked, ridiculously hopeful he could get the horribly itchy stitches out. "I know it hasn't been long enough for them to be healed but if your grace is restoring, it could be..." Sam said as he poked and prodded Castiel again. He hesitated. "I..I think your healed enough for them to come out Cass." Sam said quietly and headed out of the room. "I'll go get the suture scissors." 

Castiel looked over at Dean and smiled wickedly. "Time to keep your promises Dean."

Dean stood a moment, confused, then remembered what he had promised they would do when Cass' stitches came out. He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked one eyebrow up."Well a man's gotta keep his promises. His word is his bond." 

Sam walked back in about that time and guided Cass to sit in one of the library chairs. Sam got down on his knees and begin to remove them. Dean walked behind the chair and laid his hands on Castiel's shoulders. Sam smiled to himself as he removed the stitches. It was like Dean could literally not stop touching Cass now. It was amusing and endearing at the same time to the younger Winchester. As he removed the last stitch, he ran his hand along the ridge where the stitches were. As he watched, the tiny suture holes closed up on their own. "Um Cas, I think your grace is back."

Castiel looked down at what Sam was looking at and stared thoughtfully. "Hmmm..I do not FEEL any different. However, I have not tried to smite anyone or heal any grievous wounds today." Dean looked down at Cass stomach and smiled happily. 

"So how do we know if Stella got her Groove back? I mean, without blood or demons being involved." Dean leaned down and talked into Cass' ear. 

"My..my wings...I could attempt to reveal my wings, well their non-ethereal form, as you saw them that time Dean..well, they are much different now..” Castiel looked at both Winchesters as he said the next, almost as if bracing them for what was to come. “They are useless to me as a form of travel. If I was in Heaven, I believe their current state would be painful but they cause me no pain.” Sam and Dean exchanged a glance and nodded at Castiel. Cass sighed and closed his eyes, concentrating. He was feeling for that spark of energy his Grace felt like. He felt a tickle of it and concentrated on his wings. He kept his head bowed and his eyes closed so it was only the shocked gasps of Sam and Dean that let Castiel know his wings were visible. He opened his eyes, which were glowing the blue of his grace, to see the horror on their faces. 

Dean had tears in his eyes as he saw what Cass’ once beautiful wings looked like now. Castiel's whole form glowed a bright blue and illuminated the shadow of Cass’ wings. Were all angel’s wings like this now or just his angel, Dean wondered. Was this from Metatron’s spell? WHY had he never thought to ask Castiel what happened to his wings. His poor angel had suffered with this burden alone because the Winchesters were too caught up in their own troubles to ask. Damn it. When Crowley had joked about Castiel’s wings being Kentucky Fried Dean should have asked…Stupid. Selfish. Castiel had been looking straight at Dean’s tears rolling down his face. Dean watched as Castiel’s head suddenly snapped to the left, behind Dean and Sam... “Hello Mary.”


	13. Not a Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary thinks Castiel is a monster. Dean and Sam have to come to defense and try to make her understand. Things get worse when Mary finds out that Dean and Cass are more than friends.

Dean and Sam whirled around to see their mother standing there. She was staring wide eyed and terrified at Castiel but neither brother understood her expression. Sam quickly walked over to her to hug her and Dean was going to do the same when he heard a thump behind him. He whipped around to see Cass kneeling on one knee. His head was bowed as if in prayer, looking more like an angel than he had ever seen him. Castiel’s blue glow subsided slowly, like a dimmer switch. He looked up from his place on the floor and looked at Dean. Dean stepped toward him when Mary yelled from behind him. 

“Dean! No!” Dean whirled around, confused as to why Sam had a hold of Mom’s arm, restraining her and trying to get her to listen to him. She looked almost hysterical and Dean was confused as to what her behavior could be credited to. He took a step toward his mother. 

“Mom listen! Please, he’s not..” Sam was trying to reason with her and holding her back.

“It’s a monster! He’s a monster! Dean get away from it!” Mary was fighting to loose Sam’s hold on her. Realization hit Dean like a ton of bricks and his stomach dropped. She was talking about Castiel. Shit. 

“Mom, no.” Dean wanted to comfort his mother and try to explain, but his first instinct was to back toward Cass. Mary was a hunter. Hunters killed monsters, and no matter how wrong he knew her to be, he saw her as a threat to his lover. “He is not an it, and he is not a monster.”

“Mom! Listen! He’s our friend. He wasn’t attacking us! Please listen! Cass would never hurt us.” Sam pleaded with Mary, fighting to keep her from running toward Dean. Dean was reminded of his father and his blind hatred of anything remotely “not human” . As he watched Mom’s face, Dean stepped closer to Castiel. Castiel had remained immobile as the events unfolded. He was still kneeling on the floor, staring up at Mary. He did not look toward Dean or Sam at all. His grace reformed inside him as the fight began, now only appearing as a human in Dean’s Zeppelin shirt, jeans, and sneakers. His hair was disheveled. He looked decidedly nonthreatening in his current state. Castiel began to speak soothingly and patiently, as if to someone standing on the ledge of a building.

“Mary. I need you hear and understand my words. I am no threat to you or your sons. As you would…and have…died to protect them, so would I…and have. I see the fear and revulsion inside of you when you look at me. I apologize that this had to be the way you first see a fraction of my true form. I know my human vessel is much easier for you to accept.”

Dean, Sam, and Mary stayed frozen, listening hypnotically to Castiel’s words. Dean’s brain felt warm and safe. He believed Castiel was using part of his Grace to dissolve the tension and let his words be heard. He felt drugged, but happily so. Castiel’s voice surged with power. Dean realized he had never heard him speak this way. It sent chills down his spine, and none of them were from fear. Damn it. Now was DEFINITELY not the time.

”I understand that your perception of Angels and my appearance are not what you expected, and I apologize for that. There was a time I might have exceeded your expectations. I was a Warrior of God. My appointed name means Shield of God. However, you must understand. That is no longer who I am. What you see before you now, is an Angel that has turned his back on God, on his Family of Angels, on Divine Prophecy, and all his Heavenly obligations, to debase himself here on Earth. I serve the Winchesters. I am their warrior and shield. You have no reason to fear me unless you mean to cause them harm.” Castiel slowly stood up as he said the last, and Dean took that moment to stand beside him fully. The gesture was not lost on Castiel...or Mary.

“Mary, much has changed in the thirty years since you have been gone, I know. Not all hunters hunt anything and everything that is less-than-human anymore. Everyone in this room has qualified to be hunted at one point in their lives if you go by those black and white standards….You will not find another Angel such as myself, Mary. No other has chosen to walk the path I walk, and only one other angel is as reviled in Heaven as I am for the choices they have made. I say that only to say this. My choice that resulted in my exile was to remain here with your sons, to protect them above all others. I am despised by other Angels for that choice, but your sons have earned my loyalty. I stand by them. I have done monstrous things, and most of them in the service of Heaven, but I am not a monster.” 

Dean wanted to reach out and hold Castiel’s hand, but he thought better of it. This was revelation enough for one night. Dean was in awe of the Angel standing beside him. Dean looked over to Sam who, he swore to Chuck, was blinking away a tear, still holding onto Mom’s arm. Mary was still staring at Castiel, her eyes as big as saucers. She looked up at Sam and nodded her head at him and he released her arm hesitantly. She walked toward Cass slowly and cautiously. Dean tensed beside Cass and took one step toward his mom, putting himself slightly in front of Castiel. 

“Dean, he just said he was your shield. Why are you trying to shield him? He could easily kill me if he wanted to, right?” 

“He could, but he wouldn’t. He’s family mom, and I know him. He would allow you to hurt him before he would lift a hand to defend himself against you. He knows it would kill me..us..if he hurt you.” Dean spoke softly but calmly, trying to learn from Castiel how to defuse instead of escalate. See, he could still learn new tricks. Mary stopped a few steps from Dean and Cass. She narrowed her eyes for one moment at Dean then looked back at Castiel with sharp eyes.

“I’ve heard a lot of stories from a lot of monsters Castiel. You seem more sincere than most, I will give you that. I understand I have not been here for most of my son’s lives, and you have been…helpful to them for some time now. However, I am not naïve enough to trust you as blindly as my sons have.”

“Mom enough!” Dean’s voice rose higher than he intended. 

“I’ve had my say…for now, Dean. However, I certainly did not come here to fight with anyone. I came to see my boys…” Mary reach a hand toward Dean and one toward Sam. They both walked toward her tentatively. “I am sorry I did not call first. I wanted to surprise you. I guess I did….” Dean and Sam filled the space between them and came to stand beside their mother, who wrapped Dean in a hug. Dean hugged back, but he was still tense. He did not see the look Mary gave to Castiel over his shoulder. No one did. Castiel stared back at her, unblinking. Castiel was the only witness to the confusion and fear in Mary’s eyes as she looked at the fallen angel. 

Mary finally turned to hug Sam and Castiel took that moment to turn on his heel and head to his room. He would not be expecting Dean to join him tonight. 

\---------------------------------------------------  
Dean had noticed Castiel’s absence almost the moment he had turned the corner out of the library. He had wanted to immediately follow him but his mother pulled him away to tell him about what she had been doing since she left. They sat around the library table talking for quite some time before Dean excused himself to go to the bathroom. He walked past the bathroom and straight to Castiel’s room. He pushed on the door. It was locked. 

“Cass, what the hell? Let me in.” It was only a moment before the door swung open and Castiel was facing him, dressed in his typical dress shirt, pants, trench coat, and tie. There was a duffel open on the bed. Dean’s eyes narrowed. “Where the Hell do you think you’re going?” Dean’s voice had lowered to a dangerous tone. 

“Don’t over react Dean. It’s quite obvious your mother is uncomfortable with me here and you need to spend time with her, you both do. I am not leaving you, Dean. I can’t. However, I do think it would be best if I found a hotel room to stay at for a day or two. Your mother needs to time to adjust to the idea of this. I do not think us showing affection toward one another in her presence would be at all well received at this point, and I can’t trust myself not to touch you at all for the duration of her stay. I’m not sure I could bear it.” Castiel’s eyes were wild a moment before returning back to normal, turning his back to Dean to continue to place items in his duffel. “It’s cruel to ask me to Dean.”

Dean walked into the room and closed the door, leaning against it and pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. “It really is always something with us isn’t Cass? It’s no wonder Sam and I were oblivious to all you’ve been through. It’s always one crisis after another. Well, I’m sick of it.” Dean stomped over and grabbed Castiel’s arm and whipped him around to look at him. He knew Cass could have remained immobile if he had chosen to with his Grace rebounded. However they were now nose to nose with one another. “I’m fucking sick of it Cass.” Dean leaned their foreheads together so there was only a whisper of space between their lips. “I just wanted to come home and make love to you and now I’m knee deep in family drama again. Why does this keep happening?” Dean whispered softly.

“God Is a fan of trials and tribulations Dean…” Castiel mumbled back. “Seems he enjoys them with you, your brother, and myself in particular.” 

“Well Chuck needs to butt out for a while.” Dean filled the space between them and pressed their lips together in what started as a chaste kiss. “You know you’ve got me ready to swear my undying devotion to you after that speech you gave earlier right? My Warrior and Shield.” Dean molded himself into Cass, letting all his stress melt away as he pressed against his angel, deepening the kiss with tongues. “My beautiful, mesmerizing, fallen angel.” Dean pushed his hands under that damn coat, moving his hands over Cass’ shirt clad back. Cass had his hands in Dean’s hair, lightly digging his nails into his scalp. Dean moved his hands to cup Castiel’s face and he felt Cass’ hands on his shoulders right before he heard Sam yell from down the hall. He barely made out the words as he heard the knob turn.

“Mom! Hey wait! I can get him....HEY DEAN!” Bless his heart, Sam was trying to warn them but Dean’s brain was not acting quickly enough, drunk on Cass’ lips. Castiel however, was sharp with his renewed grace and he had enough time to use his arms on Dean’s shoulders to push him forecefully away before Mary pushed the door open without knocking.   
Sam came through the door, practically chasing Mary. They all four stood there frozen. 

Castiel was still beside the bed, his duffel open, trench coat and tie ruffled and in disarray, with lust blown pupils and kiss swollen lips. His hair was in disarray. Dean may have been feet away from Cass now but he was in a damnably similar state. It took Mary only a moment to figure out what was happening. She covered her mouth with her hands, like she was watching a horror movie. 

“Oh God!” Mary whispered before pushing past Sam and running out of the room. Sam looked between Castiel and Dean, like he had started the apocalypse all over again. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I tried to get her to wait. She got worried when you didn’t come back fast enough Dean, and then when she went to your room and you weren’t there. I didn’t expect her to run down here...and I thought the door would be locked if…Shit. I’m sorry.” Sam put his hands in his hair and leaned his head back. “I’ll go talk to her.” Sam steadied himself and went to find his mom. 

Dean looked over at Castiel, who stood frozen beside the bed, staring at the floor, his shoulders slumped. Dean stood frozen as well, unable to move toward Cass and unwilling to walk away. Suddenly Castiel dethawed and looked up at Dean. The pain in Cass’ eyes made Dean gasp. “Go to your mother Dean. I believe I have done quite enough damage today.”

“Cass, no.” Dean walked purposefully over to Cass and grabbed his hand. “Come on. I’m tired of this. So, so tired.” 

Dean dragged Cass behind him. He was a silent figure at Dean’s back but he did not resist Dean’s pull on his hand. Dean walked with newfound purpose down the hall, looking first in his own room then finding his mother and Sam in Sam’s bedroom. His mom was sitting on Sam’s bed sobbing. Sam was standing in front of her, arms crossed with a mixture of anger and sadness in his eyes. 

“Mom, we are having this conversation now. I’m not going to see my family ripped apart. You’ve had your say. Castiel has had his. It’s my turn, and Sammy’s if he’s got something to say about all of this. It’s time for a family meeting. War Room now." Dean turned his back to the room and walked toward the War Room. He felt resistance as he began to lead Cass. He turned toward Cass, who had frozen in the hall, still in front of Sam’s door in view of Mary. “I said Family Meeting. Now, Cass. The WHOLE family.” Castiel tilted his head and gave Dean That Look. “No Cass. No arguments.” Dean continued to pull Castiel toward the War Room and he sat Cass at the war room table. He stayed standing with his arms crossed over his chest, pacing. A few minutes later Sam came in, with a puffy faced Mary coming in behind him.

While Castiel was sat at one end of the long table, Sam sat in the middle of a long side, facing Dean. Mary sat at the far end, Castiel and herself looking at one another over the long expanse of table. Dean stayed standing, ready to say his peace. 

“Mom, I’m about to tell you some things you are not going to want to hear, but I expect you to listen. If at any time you feel it’s just too much, you are free to leave here.” That sentence pained Dean to say but he knew it had to be said. 

“I know you didn’t ask to be brought back. I didn’t ask for it either, but I was...AM thankful for it. I never dreamed you being here right now was even conceivable, yet here we are. I know how lucky I am to get a second chance to know my mom, and I don’t take that for granted but when you left…it broke me. You don’t know enough about me to know this mom, but I’m already pretty broken. It’s not your fault. It’s just facts. I push people away. I blame myself for the problems of others…When you left, I blamed myself for not being good enough for you. I mean, hell mom, you said you missed your kids while we were standing in front of you. We didn’t ask for this!” Dead paused for a moment and took a breath. He looked around the table at his mom, whose eyes were downcast. Sam was staring at his hands, which were twisted together nervously. Castiel was staring straight at Dean, looking proudly at him, urging him to continue.

“Sam and me, we did okay for ourselves. We had a few friends. We had Bobby. We got along okay. We got hurt, we both even died a time or two. I went to Hell after I made a deal to bring Sammy back from the dead…” Mary glanced up in alarm as Dean continued as if he was reading a story out of a book, detached. “Then I get my ass dragged out of hell, out of the most horrific experience of my existence, by Castiel. The man you call a monster, literally saved me from Hell.” Mary glanced down the table to look at Cass, who felt her eyes on him and looked over, tilted his head and nodded. “I did a summoning ritual to find out who or what pulled me from Hell. I was suspicious…just like you. Then he” Dean jerked his thumb toward Cass. “comes walking into my life. I stabbed him the first time I met him. Still, he just pulled the knife out and kept talking. Never could get him to shut up..” Dean winked at Cass, who rolled his eyes. 

“Mom, Cass defied Heaven to stop Sam and I from being forced to kill one another in a Biblical Knock Out fight. He died, TWICE to help us stop it. Any time I needed back up, Castiel was there. He and I spent a year in Purgatory, fighting real monsters. He spent most of that year running from me, to keep the biggest monsters chasing him and off my tail. He offered to die by my side only a month ago when I thought that was the only way to stop Amara…” Dean smiled a soft smile at Cass before continuing. “He’s not perfect. He made mistakes and bad choices. He wouldn’t fit in with this family if he had not…” 

Sam added a quick, “Amen.”

“I love you mom but you do not get the right to come in here and push him out or judge him. I know you didn’t ask to leave us, or to come back. However, Castiel has been there for us when there was no one, and when you left us, I asked him to come home. This is his home, mom. Here, with me..and Sam. He is family, and...”Dean coughed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, the first hint of insecurity peeking through his bravado. “Castiel and I have recently become more than friends. It’s been a very long time coming, Mom. I had a hard enough time accepting it, and if you can’t or won’t, I will accept your choice. I won’t have to like it but I will accept it. I want you to be in our lives in whatever capacity you can be. However, I will not ask or allow Castiel to leave because you don’t like it. You don’t have to, but it’s not going to change anything. I love him.” Dean felt Cass’ eyes on his back but he looked solemnly at Mary. 

“Dean….I….I don’t know what to say. I’m going to need time to…digest all of this. I just dont know what....” Mary stammered out, trying to think her words through slowly.

“I understand mom. If you need to leave, we get that.” Dean said with an edge of sadness in his voice as he looked at the floor. 

“I….would like to stay…If I can. I’m willing to...to try to understand.” Mary looked between the men. “I don’t want to cause strife. I didn’t mean to…” Mary stood up and went to Dean. “I love you too you know. I don’t have quite the resume as your Angel, but I am your mother and I love you. Give me some time…” Mary hugged Dean tight, and went over to Sam and kissed his forehead. She walked a few steps toward Cass but not close enough to touch. She looked Castiel in the eyes. 

“I’m sorry Castiel. I don’t understand any of this, but thank you…thank you for having kept my boys safe when I couldn’t. Thank you for being there to protect them. For that, I am forever grateful…I…will try to work through all of this. I will try to understand.” At that, Mary walked down to the bunker bedrooms to the room the boys had set up for her when she first arrived, which lay on the other side of Sam’s room. 

The three men looked to one another and Sam rose first. “Glad I didn’t have to add anything. You said it all Dean.” Sam walked over and clapped a hand on Dean’s shoulder and then walked over to Cass and put a hand on his shoulder in a similar fashion then he too, headed back to his room.   
Castiel sat seated and Dean was still standing when the room emptied. The silence was thick.

“Damn it Cass. Say something.” Dean grumbled as he scuffed the toe of his shoe on the floor. 

“Words escape me Dean.” Castiel stood slowly and walked toward Dean, looking much the same way he had the day he first met him. 

“Then let your hands do the talking.” Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and marched him to Cass’ bedroom. He flung Cass in the room, softly closed the door and made a grand gesture of turning the lock before stalking over and peeling off clothes as he went. He flung his shirt, pants, and boxers all over the room in a devil-may-care fashion. Castiel stood there in shock for only a moment then began extracting himself from his trench and jacket. Dean began to unbutton Castiel’s dress shirt as the angel began to loosen his tie. “Leave that damned tie on.” Castiel swallowed hard and moved his hands to his pants, pushing down the pants and boxers in one motion as Dean pushed his shirt off his arms. Castiel stood before Dean in nothing but that damn blue and white tie and smoldering blue eyes and Dean was lost. 

“No stitches, no hypothermia, no bed rest. No Crowley. Now fuck me Cass. I need you.” Cass gasped at Dean's words and fell to his knees, looking up at Dean. He felt like Cass' eyes were staring into his soul...again. Dean’s dick hardened just at the look in his eyes. “My fallen angel…” Dean moaned as Cass bit Dean’s thighs, running his tongue over the bites. Castiel growled against Dean’s skin and grabbed him hard and threw him onto the bed. Dean oomphed as he rolled on the bed. He heard Castiel mumble something as he nipped at the back on his thighs this time. “What was that?”

“Worth the fall.” Cass said right before he pushed Dean down on his back and hovered himself above Dean’s body. Castiel leaned down and pushed his tongue into Dean’s mouth, and Dean let him in. Castiel nipped at Dean’s lower lip. He gasped loudly and Castiel moaned. “Damn it, Dean. Your mother and brother are down the hall. You must be quiet if you wish me to fuck you.” Dean whimpered as Cass moved his mouth off Dean’s and nipped at his neck before peppering kisses down his chest. 

‘The lube..my room” Dean gasped out as he could make a coherent thought. 

“I got that and put it in my room while you were with your mother. I had plans to make love to you before I left, if you wanted me to.” Castiel’s tone was becoming more gravelly and deep. Dean felt the first finger press against him, already slick. That angel did not waste time. Dean sighed contentedly as Cass slid the finger in, long and deep. Dean pushed himself deeper onto the finger as soon as he was adjusted, eager to be loosened up and receive Cass. Dean and Castiel locked eyes, heat swimming between them. When Dean began to moan, Castiel would swoop in and swallow his sounds into his mouth. Dean was squirming and impatient beneath him.

“More Cass. Please!” Dean almost shouted and he heard Castiel swear. 

“Damn it Dean! You’re going to get us interrupted again!” Dean felt Cass lean away from him and then he saw through lust filled eyes as Cass whipped off his tie and then in a blur of movement, stuffed it in Dean’s mouth like a gag. That made Dean roll his eyes back in his head as Castiel decided at that moment to shove a second finger in. The moan Dean let out was greatly muffled but Cass still grumbled and flipped Dean back on his stomach. He rammed Dean with the two fingers and Dean pushed back on them, moaning into the mattress now that he could not be overheard. Dean was coming undone just on Cass’ fingers and was afraid he would cum on the sheets when he felt himself stretch more with a third finger. Cass only gave him a moment to adjust before gripping Dean’s hip and pulling him back on his fingers, encouraging him to fuck them. Dean took the hint and began riding on Cass’ fingers, digging his nails into the mattress. Dean was going to lose his mind. He pulled the impromptu tie gag out.

“Damn it, Castiel, if you do not fuck me right now I am going to burst into flames!” Dean whispered fiercely. Cass chuckled darkly. 

“Well it is my sworn duty to protect my Winchesters, and that includes from spontaneous combustion.” That was the only warning Dean got before Cass was sliding his dick into him. He buried his face in the mattress, screaming his pleasure into it. Castiel moved onto his haunches and pulled Dean into his lap, fucking up into him. Dean leaned his head back on Cass’ shoulder and rolled his eyes over at him, biting his lip to fight back his groans. Castiel saw Dean’s pleading eyes, fighting to maintain control, and clapped a hand over his mouth, allowing him to let go and moan into his strong hand. At that problem solved, Castiel began a punishing pace on Dean’s ass, ramming into it over and over. Dean was drunk on the combination of pleasure and pain. If not for Castiel’s previous preparations this would have been painful, but it was nothing but a bit of stretch and burn mixed with the pleasure. Castiel was whispering the filthiest things in Dean’s ear, things no angel should ever consider saying. However, this angel was fallen in every way and Dean was enjoying it far more than he should be. 

Castiel’s pace was getting erratic and Dean heard him start speaking in Enochian. Damn if that wasn’t hot. Suddenly a warm, strong hand clapped around Dean’s dick and put him on all fours. Dean’s dick was suddenly being pumped at the same pace as his ass and Castiel’s other hand gripped Dean’s mouth tighter as he began gasping and moaning Cass’ name around his hand. Suddenly, with a gut wrenching jolt, he was spilling his seed all over the comforter and Castiel was pouring his into Dean, filling him with wet heat. Dean saw a brief flash of blue reflected against the wall and he collapsed on the bed to the side of the wet spots he had left on the bed. Castiel collapsed on top of him for a moment but recovered quickly and flipped them over so Dean was lying on his chest. Castiel used his restored angel mojo to clean them without any effort so they would not have to part.

They both lay wrapped up together, Dean panting and listening to Cass’ heart, which was beating a little fast still. “Hmm, you may not sweat but I can make your heart race. I’ll take it.” Dean smirked.

“Dean, if anyone could make me sweat as an Angel, it would be you…and that damnable moaning. I’m afraid no one will be speaking to us at breakfast. I am quite surprised no one came to save you from me….” Cass smirked with only a bit of bitterness in his tone. 

“Can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” Dean said softly to Castiel’s chest. 

“Throwing my own words back at me are you Dean Winchester? Are you doing penance for past deeds as well?” Castiel kissed Dean’s hair as he said it softly. 

“I am, actually.” Dean sat up a little, even as Castiel almost growled as he pulled away. “I’m trying to make it up to my idiot past self for not allowing myself to have this sooner…I think we would have been much happier channeling all that frustration into sex instead of beating each other up all the time…” 

“I cannot argue with that logic.” Castiel said with a smile on his face. They both lied there in companionable silence for so long that Cass thought Dean had fallen asleep until he spoke again.

“Cass, when you were sick, did you dream?” Dean whispered, in deep thought. 

“Yes, but looking at it now, much of it is lost in a fog of illness.” Castiel hesitated. “I really was very sick that first night. I’m sorry I would not let you take me to the hospital. I’m afraid there are some…fears that I harbor under the surface from my experiences over the years. Ridiculous, an Angel being afraid of hospitals.” Castiel scoffed at himself. 

“I’m scared of airplanes, well, flying in general.” Dean looked up at Cass, smiling with a lopsided grin. “Sam thinks it’s hilarious.” Castiel looked down at Dean thoughtfully.

“You were not afraid of flying when I removed you from Hell. You were brave and courageous, even as broken as you were.” Dean sucked in a breath and looked away.

“I wish I could remember. I saw you, the real you, didn’t I?” Dean looked back, rubbing his hand under his eye like a tear might have been there.

“As close to it as anyone other than angels can physically perceive, yes. I would not wish those memories on you though, Dean. Seeing you in that way, it plays back in my brain often at night when you have all gone to sleep.” Castiel whispered as if telling a secret, something he had never spoke aloud. “It was my first time going to Hell you know, and they sent me alone. Looking back on it now, after all I know, I believe they hoped I would fail, that they would relieve themselves of one of the broken Angels and be able to blame it on destiny. I believe they thought I would die trying to save you. They were right…Their plan worked. I just didn’t ever stay dead, and I kept coming back to protect you from them.” Castiel sat up and pulled Dean right up to his chest, whispering softly in his ear. “It angered and perplexed them. Angels are not capable of love.” Castiel kissed Dean’s neck as he said it. “Or loyalty.” Another kiss. “Or sacrifice.” This kiss moved to Dean’s mouth. “But I kept doing that…I’ve been broken from the beginning of time.” Castiel laughed softly.

“Not broken. Better. It just took you a while to find where you belonged.” Dean pressed his lips to Castiel at that, and kissed him deeply. Castiel wrapped his strong arms around Dean’s back and pressed him into him. 

“This is my Heaven.” Castiel whispered against Dean’s lips. 

“Mine too Angel, Mine too.” Dean whispered back.


	14. You have a what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel reveals a big secret about himself. Shower Smut ensues. Breakfast turns into Mary seeing that Castiel is no monster and might be helpful to her.

The next morning, Dean awoke in Castiel’s arms and looked up at him. His Grace was definitely restored, as he looked down at Dean with clear, wide awake eyes.  
“Good morning Dean. I venture that you slept well?” 

“Very well Cass. I kind of miss us falling asleep together though..” Dean scooted up into a seated position. “Don’t miss you being hurt though.”

“I am surprised that I too miss being able to fall asleep with you Dean. I was so ready for my grace to return and now I find myself a bit despondent. However, as long as I am allowed to share a bed with you, I cannot be too unhappy.” Castiel quirked up the side of his mouth into a lopsided smile. He bent down and kissed Dean softly on the lips.  
Dean stretched his stiff muscles like a cat after parting lips. 

“Well, I mean, I am a damn delight first thing in the morning. I’d like waking up next to me too.” Dean looked over Castiel, who was rolling his eyes again, exasperated. “You sure got the hang of the eye rolling thing now.”

“I had an excellent teacher.” Cass said back, lifting one eyebrow and smirking.

“True. So, it’s breakfast time and no one has come to get us for breakfast. That probably means Sam is babysitting mom so she will not come back here and demand you stop holding me hostage...” Dean winked, trying to make light of his mother’s feelings about Castiel. 

“Dean, I do not need to be a source of strife. I still think if I left just for a day or two…” Castiel began trying to reason with Dean.

“No.” Dean cut him off with a glare. “This was your home first Cass. You’re my…” Dean swallowed hard.

“Boyfriend.” Castiel said helpfully, stoned faced.

Dean nodded back. “Yeah, that. You’re not leaving the bunker because my mother doesn’t like this. I’m not 14. She can’t forbid me to see you…This ain’t Romeo and Juliet.” Dean sighed. “You know, boyfriend just sounds weird in relation to you…”

“It is true I am not a boy but I am your friend. I could suggest a few titles if you wish.” Castiel looked innocently over at Dean, who cocked his head to the side curiously. 

“Sure man, fire away.” Dean smiled. Castiel pulled Dean closer to him and whispered in his ear. 

“There is lover,” before dipping his tongue into his ear. “Or beloved could work equally well.” Castiel said this as he gripped Dean’s earlobe with his teeth and barely bit down. Dean sucked in a breath and trembled. “If we are going for more formal we could say significant other or partner.” Cass slid down Dean’s chest and began to leave tiny red hickey’s on it, licking them after he pulled away. “Sweetheart sounds a bit too school age to me.” Castiel dipped his tongue in Dean’s belly button, and was rewarded with Dean’s erection growing before his eyes. The pajamam pants did nothing to hide it. “Companion is another but that feels a bit too Dr. Who doesn’t it?” Cass ran his nails down Dean’s chest and Dean arched his back in response. “We could just go with…soulmate.” Dean gasped under Cass as he came back up and pressed his lips to his. Their tongues slotted together perfectly as they fed on each other’s kisses. Dean’s hands slid across Cass’ back, digging his nails down it, leaving faint red marks that immediately began to fade thanks to Castiel’s grace.

Castiel sat up and looked possessively down at Dean. “I have one now you know, so I could be..” Dean, confused by his train of thought, looked puzzled.

“A what?” Dean asked drunkenly, trying to pull Cass back down to kiss him but Cass resisted.

“A soul, Dean. I have a soul.” Castiel’s eyes roamed over Dean’s face, waiting for his reaction. Dean’s face was a frozen mask before he gasped as it sunk in what Castiel was saying.

“When did that happen? How can you have grace and a soul?” Dean sat up as the realization hit him. Castiel leaned back and sat Indian-Style on the bed while Dean mirrored him. Their knees touched and Cass leaned his head forward, pressing their foreheads together conspiratorially. 

“When Metatron stole my grace and made me human, I received a human soul. That’s just how it works. Nothing and no one can be devoid of that spark. However, when I found my grace there was such a small amount of it left that apparently my essence could contain them both....” Castiel waited for Dean to say something, anything. 

“How long have you known?” Dean said quietly, not moving from their close proximity.

“Since the day it happened. However, it wasn’t a conversation I thought you were ready to hear, and you were always so busy with your own problems...” Castiel trailed off, sliding a hand down Dean's arm. 

“Cass, I promise I will never be too busy to hear you ever again....I’ve done that too much to you. So, what does that mean for you?” Dean shivered under Cass' touch but steadfastly remained focused on the topic at hand.

“Well, I don’t really know…I had hoped to ask my Father when he was here but I was not able to get a moment to do so. My questions were unimportant compared to stopping Amara. However, as far as I know, there’s never been another known case such as mine. I’m an anomaly.” Castiel laughed lightly, only a twinge of bitterness prevalent in his tone. 

“Well, I knew you were unique.” Dean smiled brightly, trying to lessen the heaviness of Cass’ confession. 

“Dean, you make my soul happy.” Castiel all but nuzzled into Dean’s neck, laying kisses on his pulse point.

“You make mine happy too Cass.” Dean whispered.

“I know. I can see it.” Castiel said softly, moving to kiss Dean's forehead.

“Damn it Cass. You keep bringing up more stuff I really want to talk to you about….but if we don’t leave this room soon I’m going to starve to death.” Dean frowned as his stomach growled and interrupted them.

“We have plenty of time for talk later, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.” Dean smiled at that then got a devious look in his eye. 

“You know, we both really need a shower before we face the family. Come on..”  
\-------------------------------------------  
Dean and Castiel had changes of clothes in their arms and they walked softly down the hall. Dean didn’t really care if he ran into his family but he’d prefer to avoid that awkwardness for just a little bit longer. They got into the bathroom without incident and Dean locked the door behind them. He began stripping out of the clothes as soon as the lock was turned and Castiel quickly followed suit.

Their hard bodies pressed together, notching together like they were made to fit together that way. Hell, maybe they were. Their dicks glided against one another, causing both men to gasp and grind forward. Dean grasped Castiel by the shoulders and guided him, belly first, against the bathroom wall, panting and notching his dick up against the cleft of Cass’ ass. “Need you. Want you. ” Those were the only words Dean could muster. 

Castiel gasped against the cold wall and panted out, “Yes Dean.” Dean grabbed Cass’ arm and drug him over to the shower. He leaned in and adjusted the knobs, waiting impatiently for it to warm up enough, then all but dragged his Angel in the shower with him. He immediately pressed Cass against the shower wall. The Angel gasped out at the abrupt coldness but that was quickly forgotten as Dean pressed his overheated body against his own. Dean angled the shower head so they were feeling the warm spray but weren't drowning in it. Dean pushed his pelvis into Cass’ and Cass pushed back. Castiel moved to wrap his hand around both of their dicks. Dean flinched like he had been punched and Cass began moving his hand up and down their shafts, pumping them together.

“Shit!” Dean threw his head back, panting. When he lifted his head back up, his eyes had gone feral and Castiel moaned as the water dripped down Dean’s face. Dean gripped Castiel’s shoulders and whipped him around, pressing his stomach to the wet shower wall. He glided his hands down the other man's body as he slid into a kneeling position behind him. 

“Damn! No lube in here.” Dean groaned out in frustration.

“Improvise love.” Castiel panted from above him. “Conditioner ought to work. I won’t die…Just do it already.” Castiel growled out. Dean leaned over and snatched up the conditioner bottle from the tub ledge and squirted a dime sized amount on his finger, rubbing it on his fingertips. It should work. Not ideal. 

“If it hurts let me know..”Dean trailed off.

“Dean..” Dean snorted a little. That was Castiel’s warning tone. 

“Patience love.” Dean quirked back as he slid his finger around Castiel’s hole. Cass arched his back and moaned into the tile wall. Dean worked the finger in and out of Cass until he thought it was safe then slowly added a second. Cass was softly moaning Dean’s name and Dean was panting against Cass’ leg when the knock came on the door and they froze.

“Dean! It’s Sam. Mom wanted to know if you and “the Angel” were coming to breakfast today….Where is Cass anyway?” Dean could hear Sam’s humor in his voice. 

“Umm, he’s in here. With me. We’re conserving water. Going Green. Be out in a few!” Dean's voice only had a small strangling sound of panic in it, Dean was proud to say.

“Uhh yeah…I’m just gonna go…” Sam trailed off. Dean could barely hear him over the spray..”Idiot.”

“Dean maybe this is not the best time…” Castiel said, gasping as Dean continued to slide his fingers in and out of Castiel at an increasing pace.

“Never is. Grab the moments when you can get em.” Dick slicked his cock up with the conditioner and lined himself up with Castiel’s stretched hole. Dean sucked in a breath as his Angel's tight heat enveloped him. He’d never get used to it. He felt such a possession over the body he was impaling that he’d never felt before. He snaked his hand to Cass’ stomach and gripped his wet, hard cock and pumped it. Castiel bucked up and that caused Dean to slide in deeper. 

Dean panted Cass’ name in his ear as he slid in and out of him, pumping Castiel’s cock as he slid. “Not gonna deprive myself of this anymore. Wanted this. Wanted you, for so long.” It didn’t take long for Dean’s words to slide in Castiel’s ears and cause his cock to spurt his load onto the shower wall. Dean didn’t have to worry about the blinding part since Cass was facing away from him, but he noted the thin shimmer of blue against the white tile before Cass’ hole clenched down on him, milking him from the inside. Dean whimpered and his eyes saw stars as he came. He held tight to the strong shoulders of his Angel, using him for support until he recovered. They both were panting and the water was slowly cooling as they recovered.

“Shit! The hot water’s going. Quick! We gotta shower before it goes out. Cold showers suck…even though I could benefit from one with you around.”   
\--------------------------------------------------------  
When Dean and Castiel finally made it to the kitchen, they were sure the food would be cold. Dean was dressed in his typical way; A demin shirt and a green over shirt with jeans.   
Dean and Castiel had discussed what Cass would wear at length. It wasn’t vanity. It was strategy. They were trying to decide how to make Mary see him as the non-threatening ally he was. They decided to compromise and meld their two tastes. Dean had insisted Cass wear jeans, for purely selfish reasons. Castiel had insisted on a dress shirt and tie. Dean had no objections as long as he picked the color. Dean vetoed the trench, though he loved it. Mary was a hunter and hunters looked for places for weapons to hide. She couldn’t fully appreciate how iconic the trench was because she was going to be worried about Castiel pulling a weapon and killing them all, no matter how ridiculous that notion was to Sam and Dean. 

Castiel walked into the kitchen wearing faded jeans of Dean’s, a sky blue long sleeved dress shirt, and his typical dark blue and white tie. Castiel opted to wear simple dress shoes. Cass’ hair was still slightly damp so he had used a bit of Dean’s hair gel to get it to behave in its typical way. He had had to drag Dean out of the bedroom to go to breakfast. Cass insisted they could not live by sex alone. Dean was willing to give it a shot. Castiel had lovingly rolled his eyes and given him a chaste kiss before leading him to the kitchen. They dropped their hands away from one other down the hall and Castiel fidgeted with his tie before they walked in. They had discussed not being overly touchy. They weren’t ashamed, just trying to be thoughtful. 

Sam smiled as they walked in. He was frying up fresh bacon. Mary was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and an empty plate, dad’s journal next to her. She seemed to take it everywhere with her. She frowned as they walked in together. “Good morning. I was wondering when you would join us.”

Dean walked over to the coffee pot and poured a cup. “Sorry. I’m not the morning person Sammy is.” Dean sat down next to his mom while Castiel sat at the chair farthest from her. 

“I’m making some more bacon. Mom and I ate it all since you had to take a shower.” Sam smiled and lightly rolled his eyes. 

“Thanks Sammy! I do love bacon.” Dean nonchalantly looked over at Castiel, who was finding the table very interesting and actually blushing. Did other Angels blush? Damn. Dean shifted in his seat a little, telling his dick now was ABSOLUTELY not the time. 

“Did you sleep well Dean? I….I went to your room to talk to you last night but you weren’t in bed yet. I guess you came to bed late…” Mary let the sentence fall off into the now deafening silence. The only sound was the bacon grease popping in the skillet and the sound of Sam fumbling with plates. 

Dean sat there in silence, not knowing what to say. His lover sat across the table from him, fidgeting adorably with his tie. If he lied and said he went to his room late, Castiel would forgive him and he would understand. If he told Mary he had stayed in Cass’ room he would be risking another fight. Oh Hell. 

“Sorry I missed you mom. I stayed in Castiel’s room last night.” Even as he said the words, he wanted to be able to shovel them back in his mouth. He knew it was the right thing to say, even as his mom’s eyes tightened and she shot a glare over at his Angel. Dean looked over at his angel as well, who now looked incredibly uncomfortable. He didn’t regret saying it though. Had to be done.

Sam briskly walked over and put a plate of fresh, hot bacon in the middle of the table and placed some warmed up biscuits next to those. “Here! Cass would you like some coffee?” Castiel looked at Sam like he was his savior. 

“Yes Sam thank you!” Castiel’s eyes were wide as he stared at the plate of bacon, like a deer in the headlights. His mind went back to the last time he ate bacon and his stomach tightened low. Shit. 

“Do you eat Castiel? You’ve informed me you don’t sleep or sweat. What else don’t you do?” Mary asked, keeping a friendly tone, but everyone in the room could hear the implications. Monsters didn’t sleep. Monsters didn’t sweat.

“I can eat, yes. It is not necessary to my survival but I do enjoy the social aspect of it.” Castiel leaned forward and tentatively grabbed a biscuit and two pieces of bacon. Unfortunately Dean picked that exact moment to reach as well. Their hands touched and Castiel yanked his back like he’d been electrocuted.

“You don’t have to eat either? You must be a very easy houseguest.” Mary smiled at Castiel across the table, her tone dripping with aggression her face didn't match.

Dean coughed and mumbled to the table, “Not a guest mom. He lives here, now please back off.” 

“’I’m just getting to know him Dean. You two seem to know him well enough to trust him with your lives. I would just like to know him a bit better. You don’t have to come to his rescue.” Mary looked over at Dean, trying to understand what was going on in his head to trust a monster so much he’d defend him against simple questions from his own mother. At that moment Sam came to sit at the table and sat next to Cass. Mary noticed that too.

“It’s okay Dean. I would be more than willing to answer Mary’s questions. I am sure she has many.” Castiel tried to assure Dean as he took a bite of his bacon. Dean stared at Cass’ mouth, licking his lips, and Castiel willed him to behave, staring him down with his eyes. This was not the damn time, Dean!

“See! Castiel doesn’t mind. Now, I do have a question about something I found in John’s journal. I thought you could tell me more about it.” Dean’s forehead scrunched as Mary pulled out a black and white photo. Dean’s face filled with horror. He had never shown Sam or Cass that photo. He’d forgotten he tucked it in Dad’s journal. 

“MOM! Cass can’t tell you anything about that photo. We can talk about that one later.” Dean stood up and reached for the photo but Castiel had already come around the table to look at it. Mary handed it to Castiel and pulled it out of Dean’s reach. Dean came around the table to take it back but Cass had already looked at it. It was a black and white photo of five men with guns. One was Bobby in his wheelchair. Another was a very human looking Castiel. Sam came around to look at it as well. Dean tried to snatch the photo away but Sam grabbed it and he and Castiel looked carefully at it. Castiel looked lost and looked to Dean. It was like the worst version of Keep Away ever. 

“What is this Dean? WHEN is this? Is this something else Naomi took away from me?” Castiel asked, panic rising in his throat. 

“Dean…what is this?” Sam looked up. “I don’t recognize the other people in this photo.”

Mary, Sam, and Castiel, who were all standing together now, looked to Dean. Dean grabbed the photo back while they were all looking at him and he gripped it in both hands. His hands were trembling but only Castiel noticed it.

“Mom, this photo has nothing to do with dad. I tucked it in the journal a long, long time ago. It’s not…it’s not anything relevant. This photo was from...Okay…This photo is from an alternate future. God, that sounds insane.” Dean ran one hand through his hair. Castiel understood at once.

“Zachariah right?” Castiel and Dean locked eyes and Dean nodded solemnly and gave Castiel a look, a subtle nod to Sam. He didn’t want to talk about this photo in front of Sam and Mary. 

Mary was looking between the two of them, frowning again. “How do you two do that? You just had a whole conversation just now…I don’t know what about but I saw it. You do that a lot.” 

Sam laughed, trying to break up the tension, even though he was just as curious about the picture as his mom. “Mom, they’ve been doing that since they met. Eight years of silent conversations. It’s their super power. Their annoying super power.”

“I still want to know about…” Mary continued. Castiel was standing very close to Mary as he spoke. She actually realized how close she was standing and took a step back, but was staring straight into his sincere blue eyes. 

“Mary, you can ask me anything you want. If I have the power or knowledge to answer it I will be more than glad to do so. However, I have no knowledge of this photo or when it was taken. When Dean feels the need to enlighten me, I will gladly do the same for you. I trust Dean to reveal info as it is needed. If it was important he would do so.” Mary studied Cass’s face. Castiel nodded then gave a tiny glance at Dean who nodded.

“You…you have as much faith in him and he has in you don’t you?” Mary says quietly, as if Sam and Dean aren’t there. Castiel had eyes only for Mary. He actually put his hands on her shoulders, though she flinched slightly. 

“I used to put all my faith in God’s plan. I’m sorry to say that didn’t work out so well for me, or for those I cared about. However, now I put my faith in Dean and Sam. I put my faith in family and trying to do good. I truly believe I do more good fighting alongside your sons than I ever did serving Heaven.” 

“But that’s Blasphemy Castiel. You know for a fact there is a Heaven and a Hell. Aren’t you afraid…” Mary began, still staring awed at Cass, truly curious as to his answer. Castiel encouraged Mary to sit down and he scooted his chair close to talk to her. Sam and Dean remained frozen. 

“I used to be very afraid Mary. I still am sometimes. However those fears are not for myself. Whatever repercussions I meet in the afterlife are my own, and I have come to accept that. My fears are that my choices will hurt those I love. However, I do not believe God will punish me for making the choices that have lead me here. As a matter of fact, I do believe he encouraged it.” Mary pulled her face back as if she had been hit. 

“You can’t possibly believe God, your Father I guess, would want this for you. Wasn’t it easier in Heaven?” Mary asked, but Castiel could read more into her question.

“Mary, I only recently met my Father in person. He didn’t have much to say to me considering there were more important things going on. However, I know he saw inside of me. He saw who I had become. He didn’t smite me on site, so I consider that a form of acceptance. He also kept bringing me back to life after I died, several times in fact. I like to believe he did that because he believes I am still doing his work, even if I am not the Angel that I used to be. I have faith in that. As far as easier, is the easy path always the right one?” 

“Touche, Castiel. I…I would like to speak with you more if you would let me some time, about Heaven…and other things. These two never give me a straight answer about their lives.” She looked up at the boys once again, as if remembering they were there. “It’s refreshing, your honesty. I like that…and I’m working on accepting a lot of things right now too. I am.” Castiel stood and offered a hand to Mary to help her up. Mary slowly gave Castiel her hand and allowed him to help her up. Dean let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. Mary put her other hand over Castiels. 

“You know, you remind me a bit of Heaven you know. I can’t explain it. It’s just a feeling…You’re not a monster. I see that now. I’m sorry.” Mary got her coffee cup and headed for the kitchen door. “I’m going to go read in my room for a bit. You know where I am if you need me.” Mary kissed Dean and Sam on their cheeks and walked out. 

A few moments passed before Sam said, “Cass, I think she likes you.” Castiel smiled proudly at Dean, who had walked over and put his hand on the small of his back and pulled him into a sideways hug.

“Of course she does. Who couldn’t like Cass?” Dean smiled happily, a weight lifted as he clapped Castiel on the shoulder proudly.

“Actually Dean, there are quite a lot of people who want me dead or at least wish very ill of me.” Castiel said seriously.

“Not helping Cass, not helping.. Come on. Let’s finish breakfast.” Dean said as he sat Cass down next to him in the chair his mom had vacated. “You barely touched your bacon….”


	15. I'll tell you but it's gonna hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean overhears Mary and Castiel talking. He's jealous he's sharing these things with Mary instead of him. Castiel does share, but warns Dean it is going to hurt him what he has to say.

It had been several days since the faithful talk in the kitchen. Castiel had let the talk of the photo drop but had told Dean he wanted to know, and soon. Dean and Castiel had fallen into a comfortable routine of sharing Castiel’s room together at night. They had discussed sharing Dean’s room but it had been brought to Dean’s attention that Castiel’s was farthest from Sam and Mary’s rooms, so sound would not travel as well. Dean was sold on the idea. He really was happy they had avoided any accidental walk-ins up to this point and he was aiming for a perfect record. 

In the evenings, Cass would talk Dean to sleep, or they would watch Netflix until Dean’s eyes grew too heavy. They had gone out and bought another tv for Sam’s room so they could keep one in Cass’. On this night however, Dean had awoken to Castiel’s side of the bed being empty. He got up and padded down the hall in his pajama pants and t-shirt. He peaked into his own room first but it was empty. Sam’s door was closed and quiet. He walked down further to his mother’s room, and he could see the door was open and the soft light of the lamp was casting a glow into the hallway. He heard voices talking. He knew Castiel’s deep, gravelly tone within the first few seconds of hearing it. 

“I understand your struggling Mary. The Angels put you in your own personal Heaven, with everything you ever needed. For you, it was your family. It was your safe space. It’s different for everyone. I always found that so interesting….”

“I was there, holding a sleeping baby Sammy and then suddenly I was here. I was cold and scared and….lost. I…I can’t talk to Sam and Dean about this. They take it so personally. I love them, but I don’t know them. I know they are my babies…but I just left those babies in Heaven. My mind can’t wrap around the fact that those two dangerous, smart mouthed men, are my babies.” Mary said softly to Cass. 

“They are trying to understand too Mary. They…haven’t always been very good about listening to what others need. It’s not their fault though. They’ve had a heavy weight put on their shoulders. They, both of them, are learning that not everything that happens is a reflection on them. The world does not revolve around them, well not always, and that is hard for every human being to learn…and every Angel too. I think if you tried to talk to them, they would be receptive to you. “ 

“You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s just easier to talk to you….Maybe because you’re not my son. You said you died before too. Did….Did you get to go to Heaven?” Dean held his breath in the hallway. His own mother was asking his…Cass..questions he had not thought to ask him.

“The first several times...” Dean heard Castiel laugh at a facial expression Mary must have made. “Yes, I stopped having the best of luck at staying alive after I met your sons. The first several times it was nothing. I was devoid of being. I had died a cast-out Angel. They would never have let me into Heaven, and Hell certainly didn’t want me there either. The King of Hell and I were on a first name basis by the time some of those deaths rolled around, and we tend to annoy one another you see…Why are you laughing? His name is Crowley. He is a small, annoying man whose sole purpose in life is to vex me. Anyway, the last time I died…I was human. I was only dead for a few minutes. Dean and Sam brought me back…but yes, I went to Heaven. You know, no one’s ever asked me that before.” 

“What was it like? Your Heaven?” A silence fell in the room. Dean could sense that Mary and Castiel were sharing a look. 

“Do you want to ask that Mary? You know I will tell you if you truly want the answer but it may not be something you want to hear. I know your discomfort with…..Hello Dean..”   
Castiel’s voice got louder as he sensed Dean in the hall. Dean tensed and walked the last few steps to the open doorway, acting like he had been walking down the hall to the bathroom. 

“Oh…uh hi! I was just going to the bathroom and um, heard voices.” Dean shuffled his feet and rubbed his neck. “I’m just heading back to bed…” Dean used his thumb to point back down the hall and started to walk out. 

“I’ll be back to bed shortly Dean. I got up to stretch my legs and saw that Mary was awake.” Castiel explained before Dean had to ask. 

“Castiel has so many interesting stories Dean! No wonder you…like him. He’s fascinating! I know my dad would have loved to have gotten to talk to a real life Angel. I mean, if he didn’t try to kill you first..” Dean almost considered telling his mom he had gotten to meet her dad and hunt with him…but that had ended in blood and was a story for another time. Castiel knew that story and looked to Dean and gave a minute head shake. 

“Oh yeah…Cass’ a regular open book, if you ask the right questions.” Dean raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes. I’m going to head back to bed….” Dean grumbled as he left the room and stopped at the bathroom on his way back. 

Dean was feeling petulant that Castiel might tell Mary what his Heaven had been like before telling Dean…but in Cass’ defense, Dean had never thought to ask. There were so many things Dean had never thought to ask his anciently-old Angel with a soul boyfriend. How self-absorbed could he be? He actually considered being immature and going to his own room and locking the door. It would serve Cass right for telling secrets to his own mom he hadn’t shared with Dean. However, maturity won out and Dean walked down the hall to Castiel’s room, which was dark. He closed the door behind him and made his way to the bed to crawl in when Castiel spoke from the chair in the corner. Dean jumped.

“I knew you were there the entire time, Dean. I just thought you needed to hear what Mary had to say. This whole family swims in a sea of self-loathing and miscommunication. I might drown one day if I had to breathe.” Dean sat down on the bed and waited for his eyes to adjust so he could see Cass.

“You know..I think I’m mad at you Cass.” Dean huffed out, cringing that he sounded like a 14 year old girl. That whole being mature thing had not lasted very long.

“Really? What did I do, Dean? I would like the opportunity to defend myself.” Castiel smirked back. Was that bastard smiling in the dark?

“You went to Heaven, like your Heaven, and you never told me.” Dean said quietly.

Castiel sighed. “Dean you are going to make this a painful conversation. You are a masochist.” Dean heard and then saw Castiel stand up and walk over to the bed. He sat down beside him. “Is this something you truly wish to bring up? You know I will tell you, but it’s going to hurt. You know I would do anything to avoid causing you pain.” 

“Cass, I have avoided asking you a lot of things over the years because I didn’t really want to know the answer. I’m trying to grow here. I want to know the answer, even if it hurts." 

“Do you not recall the events that occurred immediately after I died? I was here with you in the bunker….and then you told me I had to go. There were so many things I was going to tell you. So many things I finally understood….about myself. Dean, you broke my heart. I was human and at my most vulnerable and you turned me away. I was so angry with you, for so long. I hid it well I believe. I didn’t WANT to be angry with you. However, I was human, and I could not control my emotions.” Castiel sighed quietly and reached out to find one of Dean’s hands, feeling it tremble. “Are you sure you want me to go on?” 

“No…but say it.” Dean whispered.

“Dean, when I became human and got all of the Angel programming out of the way, I knew for certain I loved you. I’d known for a long time but I couldn’t get past the Angel part of me. When I became human I had the ridiculous notion you might see me differently. You might finally want me. I even….with that reaper because I wanted to impress you. I wanted you to see me as a sexual being, not the sexless creature you imagined me to be. Do…do you want to know what my Heaven was Dean?”

“Shit Cass. Yes. Please…..tell me.” Dean said quietly.

“Dean, my Heaven was here, in the bunker, with you. This was literally my Heaven. I told you that night we laid here what my Heaven was. You just didn’t understand I was being truthful with you. You thought I was simply being romantic. When you cast me out, it was the second time I was cast out of Heaven. I did not believe I could bare it again, but I survived.”

"Oh, Cass. I’m so sorry.” Dean whispered as he clung to Cass in the dark. He finally let the tears fall he had been holding back for so long over what he had done to his Angel. “I’m so sorry. I hated myself for it. I still do. Jesus, Cass. You died and then I sent you away. I didn’t even give you much money to live on.” He cried while Cass held him, rubbing circles on his back, shushing him with soothing words Dean couldn’t hear. “Cass, why don’t you hate me? I hate me. I left you there, working at that stupid shop. I knew you were homeless when you didn’t let me take you back to your place that night. I knew but was too pigheaded to say anything. I told myself you were doing good. Cass, how did you live out there on your own?”

“Dean, your making this worse than it has to be…” Castiel said, pain evident in his tone.

“Tell me Cass.” Dean said.

“Oh Dean. How does any other homeless person live? I made do. I slept where I could find safe places. I ended up sleeping in the convenience store storage room for a while. I got food from garbage cans...I did what I had to. There are others that have it far worse than what I lived for that short time. The night the reaper found me was my low point. I was stuck out in a rainstorm and freezing. Now I know, looking back, I would have died anyway, frozen, in that cold alley. I would have called you…but I didn’t have even enough money for a phone call. Then the reaper came…”

“Cass…so sorry….forgive me….” Dean whispered into Castiel’s night shirt, which was damp with years of Dean’s pain. 

“Dean, you don’t have to ask for that. I forgave you long ago, just as you forgave me for all my vast past misdeeds. If we weigh them, mine still far outweigh yours.” Castiel said, holding Dean tighter to him.

“I don’t see it that way.” Dean said sadly, letting go of Cass and holding his head in his hands. 

“You never did see yourself very clearly. It’s okay Dean. It’s okay. I’m here now, with you. We’re both safe. We’re both alive, and we are together. Nothing else matters.” Cass snaked his arm around Dean's shoulders, pulling him closer to his side.

“What will you do if I start acting like the old me again?” 

“Smite you, lovingly.” Castiel smirked, hoping to lighten the mood. Dean sniffled in the dark then let out a soft laugh. 

“Deal. Now, please...let me be selfish again and ask for something from you.”

“Anything Dean.” Castiel said, turning Dean toward him. 

“Please…hold me, and don’t leave me again tonight. I need you here with me.”

“Gladly Dean.” Castiel lied down on his side of the bed on his right side and stretched his arm under Dean’s pillow. Dean laid down and scooted his backside into Cass, snuggling into his warmth.

“If you keep doing that Dean Winchester, there will no sleep tonight.”

“When you say it like that….” Dean rolled over and kissed Castiel hard on the mouth.   
\----------------------------------------------------

Castiel’s phone vibrated against the nightstand. He looked over at the clock. It was around 6:00 am. Crowley. Castiel snatched the phone up.

“Do you simply enjoy calling me before the sun is up?” Castiel snapped out, already feeling Dean move against him. It was damned distracting considering neither of them had bothered to get dressed after they made up last night. It hadn’t really been a fight, but Dean had said to take make up sex where they could get it. Castiel was not one to argue. 

“Well, glad to know your not dead. I assumed I would get a call from the grieving widow if you’d died, inviting me to the funeral.” Crowley snarked back. Was he offended no one had told him Cass was healed?

“My grace returned about four days ago. I did almost die from hypothermia prior to that though.” Dean elbowed Castiel in the side and smiled as Cass smirked at him and winked.

“Oh I bet your boyfriend was a terrific nursemaid. Did he wear the costume and everything?” Crowley said with a sliver of teasing in his tone.

“Oh Crowley. You’re jealous. How cute. As matter of fact he took Very. Good. Care. of me.” Castiel enunciated every word even as Dean was trying to yank the phone from him. Cass held him down with one arm. “Thank you for your concern, now what do you want?”

“We need another meeting. Mother has been going through her books and has has a few ideas. Are you willing to drop the warding long enough for us to meet? I don’t think it’s wise to discuss spells and Lucifer out in the open."

Castiel looked over at Dean who was looking very disgruntled but nodded his head, as he heard the conversation. "Yes, we can do that. When? a decent hour would be preferable...."

"Well, I don't have any pressing social engagements. Let's say noon. Mother and I will...pop in." 

"I expect you to wait at the entrance and call us.We will let you in then." Castiel said calmly but Dean could hear the command in his tone. 

"Oh very well. We will see you then Cassie. Enjoy the rest of your morning. Toodleloo boys!" Crowley said louder, knowing Dean was listening. Click.

"Cass, why do you insist on agitating crowley? " Dean said now, his forehead scrunched up, shaking his head.

"Because he takes great pleasure in bringing up what he calls, your summer fling, with me. Castiel looked over and raised an eyebrow at Dean, asking without asking.

"What?!....I mean, you really don't think we...I didn't...with CROWLEY?!" Dean sat up in bed looking alarmed.

"Dean, It was not my place to ask, but you did spend a lot of time alone with him and he kept saying...." Castiel said calmly but unable to finish the sentence.

"He kept saying WHAT?! Jeez, Cass. Ugh. No! I mean, I did...things..with girls. But...no...never with..ugh!" Dean looked nauseous.

'I am very glad to hear that Dean. I would not think less of you if you had." Cass gripped Dean's hand as he said it.

"Cass, your the first guy..I mean in a male vessel...whatever....I've ever been with...The next time I see Crowley I'm going to punch him in the face, " Dean stated with surety. 

"it would give me great pleasure if you let me...." The way Castiel said pleasure had Dean's full attention.

"Make you a deal, we can take care of your pleasure now, then I get to punch him..." Dean smirked in the dark, grinding his ever-growing cock on Castiel's leg.

"Mmm...you drive a hard bargain, but I concede." Castiel rolled on top of Dean and thrusted forward, letting their hardness grind together, nothing between them.  
Their dicks slid together all warmth and smoothness. Castiel kissed Dean on the lips, then slid his tongue in his mouth, claiming it. Dean kissed back hard, letting their tongues dance. Cass slid down and ran nails down Dean's chest, leaving light red trails in their wake. 

"I am feeling very happy Dean," Cass said, a smile evident in his tone.

"I can tell that Cass. It's bumping me in the thigh." Dean laughed softly.

"No Dean, my soul is happy." Castiel nudged against Dean's neck, almost catlike.

"Mmmm, I'm glad Angel. I'm happy too." Dean gasped as Castiel bit his inner thigh. "Uuuh. You're really a sadist Cass." 

"Not the first time I've heard that." Castiel nipped higher up Dean's leg, near his hip, leaving a red mark.

"I'm going to put that mouth to good use if you don't stop biting me.." Dean's voice was gravelly now.

"Oh no. We made a deal. My time for pleasure is now. However, I will endeavor to stop biting now." Castiel dipped lower in the bed and planted kisses on Dean's inner thighs, then pushed Dean's legs up to lay them against his chest.

"Thank you...Hoooooly shit." Dean gasped out as Castiel did stop biting, but had hovered his mouth above Dean's entrance, and his tongue was doing equally wicked things to his hole. "Cass!" Cass dipped his tongue in shallow, smirking as Dean squirmed and called his name. 

"Yes Dean?" Cass said, muffled between Dean's legs, then dipped in again, running his tongue over his hole several more times. 

"..trying...to...kill...me" Dean gasped out, thighs trembling.

"Not at all Dean." Castiel reached over to the nightstand and got the bottle of lube out and put a tiny bit on his finger, and slid it in and licked at the same time.He worked his tongue and finger together and used his Angel strength to keep Dean's legs out of the way with the other arm. Dean was beyond words that didn't include Fuck, Shit, Damn, Cass or Oh at this point. He was all but writhing on the bed when Cass slid in the second and third fingers, never relenting with his tongue. 

Without warning, Castiel withdraw his fingers and tongue and Dean cried out at the loss. Castiel growled Dean's name and slid into Dean's tight heat with his now achingly hard cock. He pulled Dean onto his lap and had him straddle him, moving him up and down. Dean's head was thrown back in agonizing pleasure with how deep Cass was. He pulled his head up and locked eyes with him. They were pressed nose to nose, drowning in each other's pleasure. Cass' moan would set Dean moaning in an endless loop.

Castiel was in no hurry this morning. He made love to Dean at a steady pace but was not pressed to hurry it along. The feel of Dean in his lap, Cass buried deeply inside the man he loved, was enough to drive him mad. They panted into each other's ears, whispering tender thoughts meant for no one else to hear. When Castiel felt he was nearing his climax, he brought his hand to grip Dean's cock that had been forgotten between their stomachs till now. He pumped Dean's member a bit faster than the pace he had been going, feeling the urgency that Dean get his pleasure before he did. Castiel felt Dean falter and tighten around him as he came in his hand. Feeling the hot liquid on his chest pusehd Castiel over his tipping point and he slammed his eyes closed and buried his face in Dean's chest, filling him with his heat. 

They lay there wrapped around one another for quite some time, neither one willing to part. Castiel had taken care of the mess with a snap of his fingers so they had sat there, holding one another until the clock read that the sun was coming up and Dean's stomach growled. They both laughed softly and hesitantly parted and began pulling on clothes to begin the day.


	16. One of a Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley lays out his plan and it's a pretty good one, much to Dean's dismay. Crowley reveals just how important Castiel actually is in the hierarchy of angels, and Dean of course, freaks out.

The clock said 11:50 and Castiel, Dean, Mary, and Sam were all in various stages in sitting or standing at the war room table. Cass and Dean stood near the table, talking quietly about Crowley and Rowena. They weren't touching but they always stayed within touching distance of one another. Mary whispered to Sam about it as they sat on the other side of the table together. 

"Oh, yeah. They've done that forever. The not touching but always really close in each other's personal space thing. It's a thing they do. I dunno." Sam smiled softly at his mom and she grinned, watching them. 

Castiel abruptly walked over with Dean at his back. "Mary, you deserve fair warning that the man and woman coming in are not what we would call allies. The man is the former King of Hell, a demon. The woman is his mother, and she is a 300 year old witch. Trust neither of them."

Mary was taken aback by the bluntness. "A...a demon? Like yellow eyes?"

Sam put his arm on Mary's shoulders. This was why they had decided to tell her ahead of time. "No, not like him. You'll see the difference. Crowley is not a good guy, but he's not completely evil either. It's hard to explain. We think it's got something to do with..."

Castiel's phone rang and he had it up to his ear before it could ring a second time. "Very well."

Castiel looked to Dean. "They're here." He smiled secretly at Dean. "After you love."

Dean and Cass went up the stairs to let Crowley and Rowena in. Both looked very grumpy to be coming inside the bunker together. "What, no hello? Nice to see you?"

"This way Crowley. Rowena." Dean led them down the stairs while Castiel followed behind, his hands behind his back. 

When they got to the bottom of the stairs, in view of the War Room table, Dean rounded on Crowley and punched him in the nose. Crowley fell back, stunned. Rowena darted off to the side, not willing to come to his aid. Castiel stood on the last step of the stairs, smiled very slyly and clapped Dean on the shoulder, laughing.

"Dean what the Hell?" Sam had jumped up.

"What the bloody Hell was that for?" Crowley said while clutching his nose. When he pulled his hand away there was blood. He snapped his fingers and it was gone. "I say again, what the bloody Hell?"

Dean stepped closer to Crowley and stuck a finger in his chest, while Castiel stayed put on the stair step, still smiling proudly, one eyebrow raised." THAT, is for starting rumors that you and I had...ugggh...a thing...when I was a demon. Cass told me what you had been telling him. Cut it out. If not, I promised Cass he could do the punching next time. I had to bargain with him to get the privilege myself."

Castiel leaned against the stair railing. 'I won, either way." He practically sneered at Crowley. Crowley acted like he was gagging then straightened himself.

"Well, it was fun teasing Cassie about it while it lasted. Anyways, no harm done. I deserved that. Now on to business. Oh! We have a new member of the Scooby Gang? Let me introduce myself." Crowley swept a low bow at the stunned Mary Winchester, still sitting shocked in her chair.

"Crowley, former and future King of Hell. Ally and Enemy to everyone in this room at one point or another. And you are, lovely lady?" Crowley came around the table and extended his hand.

"Mary Winchester" Dean said. "Our mother." Sam said in unison. Crowley's hand snaked away into his pocket without being touched.

"You birthed the Winchesters? Thanks for that..." Crowley rolled his eyes. "Your sons have been a thorn in my side for seven years now..."

"Your a demon? You don't look...or act...like one." Mary didn't realize it but Sam, Dean, and Cass had all come to stand at her back as she stood to get a better look at Crowley. Rowena had come up behind Crowley, looking over his shoulder at the Winchester matriarch.

"I take that as a compliment. Most demons are so blah blah blah with their angst and their moping. Constantly flashing their black eyes and possessing people. Boooring. I like to think more out of the box than that." Crowley began to ramble.

"Mom, don't get him talking or he'll never shut up." Dean said with an annoyed tone.

"Indeed." Castiel grumbled.

"Rude...Well, then let's get to business." Crowley sat down next to Mary, who tensed and slid her chair over closer to Sam. Rowena sat to Crowley's left, still saying nothing. Dean and Castiel sat next to each other on the other side of table, their chairs angled toward one another mindlessly. 

"It really is sickening, seeing you two together you know. All the demons and angels had a bet going if you’d kill each other first or fuc…." 

"Shut up Crowley." Dean and Cass said in unison.

Crowley leaned back in his chair, looking dramatically shocked. "Did...did I miss the wedding? My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. You two really are an old married couple now. Where are you registered? I'll send a gift." Crowley smirked.

"Shut it Fergus. Tell them the plan so we can get out of here. You may be comfortable here, but I am not."

“Patience mother…Well, what are you three hovering over your matriarch for? Sit down so we can discuss the plan. I won’t bite her…unless she asks.” Crowley winked at Mary. 

“Crowley!” Castiel growled. 

“Oh very well. Anyhoo, Mother has been looking through her many, many books and has discovered a spell that might work. An Empowering Spell. For Angels.”

“Your gonna empower Lucifer?” Dean asked cluelessly.

“No Einstein, we’ll empower Castiel to make him strong enough to fight him.” Crowley explained as if he was talking to a toddler. Castiel’s eyes tightened.

“What book was this spell in?” Castiel asked with a slight tilt to his voice.

“Oh..well..you know…Book of the Damned..” Crowley said casually. Dean abruptly stood up and pushed his chair back.

“Annnd we’re done here.” Dean said with no room for argument in his tone.

“What would the spell do and what would the consequences be?” Castiel asked without looking at Dean, no inflection in his voice.

“Cass! You can’t actually consider this?? It came from the Book of the Damned. I mean the warnings right in the title man, Damned!” Dean was gesturing wildly as he spoke. 

Crowley ignored Dean and continued. “It would boost your powers beyond your normal capacity, but not permanently...well at least we don't think so. It would not be enough to fight off a full blown archangel but for one as weakened as Lucifer, it should do the trick.”

“Should?! So you’re telling me you’re not even sure it will work?!” Dean laid his palms on the table and leaned toward Crowley as he spoke. “Risk your own neck with that spell, not Cass'.”

“What are the consequences?” Castiel asked quietly. 

“Cass!” Dean shouted again.

“At least let the demon lay his plan out before you shoot it down, Dean.” Castiel growled.

“Why thank you Castiel. Anyway, as we ALL know now, using any spell in the Book of the Damned has a consequence or a cost. This one’s a cost, surprisingly easy to come by though. Just takes drawing out the warding trap in blood…Angel blood…a loooot of Angel blood.” 

“Aaaannd again I say, we’re done here. All I here is Castiel risking his neck, using his blood, and taking all the risk and you contributing nothing.” Dean snarled.

“Oh, I should also mention the warding has five points that need living entities as anchors to them. You know, the rest of us. See, I do contribute!” Crowley said with a grand sweep of his hand.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “And just how big does this trap have to be that has to be drawn in Angel blood?”

“Well you know, he and Lucifer would need room to spar inside of it, so I don’t know, half a football field?”

Dean’s eyes would have bugged out of his head if they were able to. “He’d die before he could collect that much of his own blood…”

“No, a HUMAN would die. He’s an Angel you idiot. He’ll make more as soon as it is taken. You have always underestimated Angels, Dean." Crowley explained annoyed.

“The process would weaken me though. Typical dark magic trade off. To receive strength one would need to weaken oneself.” Castiel was deep in thought.

“You aren’t actually considering this are you?!” Dean said, exasperated, standing up and pacing the room.

“Dean, a word? ”Castiel growled out, trying to remain calm. 

“Oh yeah, I’d like a few words as well…”Dean said and stomped off into the tv room adjacent to the war room. 

“Mommy and Daddy are fighting. What are the children to do?” Crowley sassed as they left the room.

"Shut up Crowley," Sam barked as Dean and Cass left the room.

\----------------------------------  
“Have you completely lost your mind Cass? This plan is completely insane.” Dean yelled as he turned toward him as they entered the room. 

“My mental capacity is as strong as it ever was Dean. I believe you are not thinking with your head. Would ANY plan Crowley came up with involving me be satisfactory to you? Honestly?” Castiel asked calmly as he put his hands on Dean’s shoulders. 

Dean closed his eyes and leaned his forehead to Castiel’s. “No.” 

“Dean, please. Let’s at least weigh the risks and hear the whole plan and look at the spell before we decide.” Castiel kissed Dean’s forehead. “Be reasonable and listen before we tell him no.”

“Okay but I don’t have to like it..” Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. 

“It be asking too much to expect you to. Are you okay now?” Castiel was calmly rubbing circles on Dean's back.

“No..but come on. Let’s hear what the jerk has to say.” Dean pulled away hesitantly.

Dean and Cass came back in, catching the last snippet of Sam telling Crowley to go to Hell.

“Would if I could…” Crowley said dreamily. 

Castiel and Dean stood standing and Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “Lay out the entire plan and the spell. Then we will decide.”

“Very well. The Empowering Spell would boost you, Cassie, to your full Seraph power once again. I believe the spell would be temporary but I cannot confirm that. You would once again have all the powers you once had available to you, though I do not know if your wings are part of that deal I’m afraid, since they are an organic part of you, not power induced.” Crowley explained academically and continued. “We both know even you at your full Seraph power would stand no chance against an Archangel such as Lucifer at full power, but he is significantly weakened. Mother has a few other spells she could use to help level the playing field in our favor as well.”

“So why does it have to be Cass? Couldn’t it be any angel?” Dean asked hesitantly. 

“Deano, how many Seraphim do you think are left?” Crowley looked at Dean, confused. Dean shrugged. Crowley looked over at Castiel, flabbergasted. “Have you not explained?” Castiel looked uncomfortable and paced a few steps away from Dean, sensing a fight coming.

Castiel crossed his arms over his chest and stared Dean in the eyes. “Dean, I am the only known Seraphim left in our world. As far as I and Crowley have been able to ascertain I am the strongest and highest ranking Angel left in existence minus Lucifer and Michael, who is still trapped. The remaining angels are in charge of keeping the order in Heaven, Bureaucrats I believe you call them. They were not created to fight.”

Dean sunk down in his chair quickly. “Shit Cass. You never told me. You’re…you’re like a really big deal huh? Like..almost like top dog big…Holy Shit...Crap I shouldn’t say that should I…Oh crap”

“This….this is why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d freak out.” Castiel turned his back to Dean and ran hos hand through his hair. 

“You didn’t tell him because if he thought he was screwing the most important Angel left in the world then he might push him to FULFILL HIS OBLIGATIONS instead of hiding in his bed!” Crowley shot up out of his chair, red faced. “I do not have the stomach to listen to Dean “The righteous Man” Winchester whine and cry that Castiel “I hate being an Angel but I’m the only Warrior of God Left” isn’t the low-ranking, unimportant Angel he thought he was. I have a plan, a damned good one, and you will BLOODY well listen to it!!” Crowley stood standing 

Dean and Castiel sat down in unison, Dean side-eyeing Castiel like he might sprout a third head. Shit. Could he do that? Dean heard Castiel sigh beside him. “Dean I’m not going to sprout ANY new appendages. Now please stop screaming at me in your head..”

“Oh man..” Dean put his head down on the table.

“Dean is currently having a crisis about my Angel Status. Thank you so much Crowley..now explain the warding trap.” Castiel glowered then glanced at Sam and Mary. He silently encouraged Mary with his eyes to help Dean. Mary got the message and drug a chair over next to Dean, patting his back while staring wide eyed at Crowley.

“There, there Dean. Consider yourself lucky. You’ve got the biggest, baddest Angel in the world on the shortest leash ever.” Crowley crooned. 

“CROWLEY!” Sam yelled. “Tell us your brilliant plan or go.”

“Very well, Moose. The Warding is a mashup of the traditional Devil’s Trap and an Angel Warding. Our bodies at the five points of the star help strengthen the warding, and it will also serve as a summoning circle to contain Lucifer. We all agree we can’t go down to meet him again. Best he comes up here. Mother can also cast spells against Lucifer easier, but not be in danger of him attacking her and canceling them out. It’s our best shot to weaken him and send him back to the cage. Back up plan if Cassie started losing would be for Mother to banish him back to the ocean floor. The back up to the back up plan would be to use an angel ward to blast him away, but it would send Cassie packing too…temporarily. “ Crowley said, smiling proudly. “See, well thought out right?”

“It really is…” Sam said reluctantly.

“Dean.” Castiel looked over at Dean. “DEAN!” Castiel all but shouted, causing everyone in the room to flinch. Only a hint of his true power snaked through. He hid it so well normally.. “Please. Look at me.”

Dean lifted his head from the table, looking hesitantly at Cass. 

“Dean, this is a good plan but I need to know you are on board with this. We can talk about everything else later. I promise.” Castiel tried to talk soothingly but knew he might have lost Dean with this new revelation. Cass wanted to take it all back and tell him weeks ago, but he couldn’t. 

“Yeah, Cass.” Dean rubbed his face with his hands, his mom still holding onto his shoulder and looking at Castiel with actual sympathy. “Yeah. Okay. So, how long will it take to take enough blood to draw a damn giant Devil’s Warding thing?” Dean looked up, resigned.

“Well, I’d say if we get to bleeding him now and let him stop for breaks as needed, won’t take but a few hours. Then we can get to making this masterpiece. Mother can stay here and study up on her spells, if you are not opposed. I can scope out the location for it, and that would leave you to bleed your Angel. Sorry, you drew the short straw, unless one of you can teleport? No. Okay. I’ll get you what you need and then I’ll be off for a bit.” POOF and there was nothing left but sulfur.

“Wow, he really is a bossy one huh.” Mary said in the silence. 

“My dear, you have nooo idea.” Rowena finally said. “Dears, is there a place I can study in quiet? I don’t want to be a bother.” She smiled sweetly and picked up her books. “The sooner we get this done, the sooner I’ll be free of Fergus.”

“I’ll…I’ll show you a good spot.” Sam said and walked Rowena out, glancing back at Dean and Cass. 

“I’m going to go set up a place to…you know…bleed him..umm” Mary wandered off, uncomfortable.

Dean and Castiel sat in silence in the War Room, not looking at one another. Castiel finally looked over at Dean, his eyes pleading. Dean thought his heart might actually break. 

“Dean, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I was…afraid. I was afraid of this. You’re…you’re afraid of me now.” Castiel leaned forward and tried to grab Dean’s hand and he reflexively moved it away a fraction. Cass slid his hand back as if he had been shocked. “Dean it’s still me. I’m still me.”

“How much of your power have you hidden from Sam and me over the years, when you weren’t possessed or crazy?” Dean asked quietly.

“Dean, I told you when God brought me back the first time I was new and improved. God chose to enhance my powers…and I was ashamed of what a mockery I made of it. Dean, I’m the last of my kind due in part to my own actions. I’m not special, just the last to die. Have…have you forgotten all I could do when we first met? You saw it as an intrusion so I stopped. I guess along the way you forgot about all of that.I did not hide anything from you in the beginning, but it made you hate me. When this is done, if I survive, you can choose where we go from here. If you wish me to leave, or just no longer be my….other, I will accept it. I want you to be happy. That has not changed.” Castiel began to roll up the sleeves of the white dress shirt he was wearing. 

Dean was so torn. He was staring at his Angel. His Angel was compassionate, kind, dorky, sweet, and the best lover he had ever had. However, he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that this same Angel was the strongest Angel left in the world that wasn’t trapped or insane. This powerful Angel wanted to live his life here in the bunker with Dean, fighting simple monsters instead of potentially ruling Heaven...which he had the juice to do. He simply didn’t want to. Shit. Castiel was rolling his sleeves up and Dean’s brain went foggy. He was in love with the most powerful force of good in the world. Holy shit.

Crowley chose that moment to pop back in. Castiel and Dean both jumped back as he had managed to teleport directly between them. “Kinky. Alas, no time for playtime.” Crowley smiled, holding an armful of supplies. “Now, where do you want to drain your Angel?”


	17. Planning Strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel begins the process of blood collection and finds out what more is required of him. He and Dean "plan some strategy" in a quiet room in the bunker (much to Crowley's disgust), and they head out to set up the spell.

Dean was standing beside Castiel, who Crowley was hooking up to equipment he must have stolen from a hospital.He just thought it best not to even ask. It was everything they would need to draw countless bags of blood from Cass. They'd come a long way from cutting themselves with knives to draw sigils... “Dean, you need to be watching me do this. Once I leave you’ll be running the show.” Crowley called him to look more closely. 

Castiel was laid out on the recliner in the tv room, all the miscellaneous equipment that would keep his blood draining and not clotting circled around him. He had both sleeves rolled up on his arms, giving Crowley and Dean open access to his veins. He had his head laid back in a posture that stated relaxed, but his eyes were tense. He laid there quietly listening to Dean and Crowley, stealing glances at Dean's face when he didn't think he'd notice. He might not get to see that face again after today and he was going to let it be burned in his brain. 

“You have to slide the needle in bevel up you see. You’ll have to change the bag as it gets full. I’ll show you then I really must go and find a location. There, there Cassie. We’ll get you hooked up and bleeding soon!” Castiel sighed and closed his eyes,not even bothering to snark back at the annoying demon. He intentionally tuned out the conversation around him until his blood started flowing. He could feel it spilling out of him through the needle in his arm. Quite a curious sensation. It felt like his very life force was slipping away through those plastic tubes but,unlike humans, he could make more rapidly. How did humans donate blood all the time? Didn’t it feel like they were going to die? Very odd. Such brave things humans were. 

He slid his eyes back closed and daydreamed, a very human thing to do he supposed. He thought back to all the times he could have told Dean about his new ranking in the order of Angels, but he could never see a time to tell him when it wouldn’t have led to this. Quiet fear coming was off of the human he loved in waves he could feel. He smelled sulfur and knew Crowley had gone but he kept his eyes closed. He felt a gentle pressure in his mind of Dean saying his name. 

Castiel sighed out loud. Here came the pain. “Yes Dean. I can hear you. What would have of me?”

“Shit. I’m sorry Cass. I guess I was just testing it..” Dean said quietly. He looked over at Castiel, hooked up and bleeding. His face was the picture of peace…to anyone but Dean. Dean had seen that face in every manner of emotion; ecstasy, rage, fear, sadness…He noted the slight scrunching up of the crows feet beside Cass’ eyes, the hard line of his mouth. He was sad. Dean had done that by not being able to accept him even though Castiel had accepted everything about him.…Well, no surprise Dean had fucked it up. He’d had a good run. This was the longest relationship he’d ever had, and he’d well and truly fucked it up. 

“Cass…” Dean pulled up the stool they had brought from the kitchen and sat down next to Castiel’s makeshift hospital chair. “Cass, I’m sorry I freaked out. I fucked up.”

Castiel laid there still, cracked his eyes open and looked cautiously at Dean. “I don’t believe you are the one who, you so eloquently put it, fucked up. I’ve tried to ease you into all the big things I haven’t told you…I just…didn’t get the opportunity to get to that one before it became something you had to know. I didn’t choose or want to be in this position, the last of the Seraph. I killed so many. I didn’t realize…I just wanted to watch humanity as I had always done. I wanted to leave all of it behind…Dean, the Angels left in Heaven loathe me.”

“I know Cass. You’ve told me, because you chose to be here, and cause you know, killed a lot of them.” Dean cringed as the words fell out of his mouth. Man he sucked at this today.

“Well yes there’s that,” Castiel laughed darkly, a sad edge to it. “But they also fear me. They fear I will decide to overthrow Heaven as Metatron attempted to do. They know they could not withstand me if I wished to take it, if I was at full power that is.”

“Do they not realize that you are…” Dean trailed off.

“Having trouble getting it up, as you humans put it?” The corner of Castiel’s mouth quirked up in the softest of smiles.

“Well, figuratively obviously, but yeah.” Dean laughed lightly and shared a knowing look, feeling more like the couple they were two hours ago. 

“No other Angels have been near enough to me lately to know that. The last time they saw me, I was inhabited by Lucifer. Hard to get a reading on another Angel’s mojo when they are being ridden around by an archangel.” Castiel shivered and Dean looked down at the bag hanging from Castiel’s arm. 

“Shit! Bag’s getting full. Hold on.” Dean did as Crowley had showed him to do to stop the blood flow, unhook the bag, and hook up a new one. Once the blood had started flowing into the new bag, Dean sat down again.

“ Why are…why are you not at full power? It seems like you should be like the Incredible Hulk.” Dean put his hand over Castiel’s that wasn’t hooked up to the machine and squeezed lightly. 

“Metatron spent most of my grace on that spell to make the angels fall, but even before that I felt my grace weakening. I do not know for sure, but I believe it has to do with me spending so much time away from Heaven. Heaven feels kind of like a cellphone’s charging dock to an Angel you see...” Castiel explained in a non-feeling voice, like he was reading a book.

“So…if you stayed in Heaven you could be a big shot Angel? You’d have your powers back?” Castiel moved his head to lock eyes with Dean, tilting his head to the side and staring. 

“Yes, perhaps Dean, but that is not where I wish to be.” Castiel explained succinctly, tilting his head to the side  
.  
“But Cass…” Dean began to question him again. 

“No Dean. I don’t want that type of power over Heaven. I had good intentions once and thought I could do it. I thought I could make the world better. Make Heaven better, but I screwed it up. Terribly. I don’t want nor deserve that type of power. I am more useful serving on Earth, away from other Angels. I..I don’t want to serve Heaven any longer. All I have done is bring it heartache and ruin.” A tear slid down Castiel’s cheek and he looked at Dean with such sorrow. “Please Dean. Don’t cast me out again for being what I am. I’d change it if I could…I can…but then I’d be nothing but human and useless to protect you…but if that is what you wanted I would do it...remove my Grace....”

Dean gasped beside him and came to kneel beside him on the floor, gripping the arm of the chair tightly. “No Cass. No! I would never make you go. I had a stupid freak out because the man-Angel-celestial being I love is more important to the world than I knew…kind of stupid when you say it like that….but I’m over it. It’s okay Cass. Everything’s okay. I’m not asking you to change who you are. I love YOU.” Dean kissed Castiel’s hand, and then he smelled sulfur and his back went rigid.

“Very touching.” Crowley looked down at Dean on the floor and raised an eyebrow. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything. Well, I really kind of hope I am…anyway. I have found a good location for the summoning spell to be done and the ward to be placed. It is an old warehouse near one of the more secluded beaches. It’s going to be a spectacular show! I don’t think there’s been anything like it since Lucifer was getting cast out of Heaven! It’s really quite exciting.” Crowley clapped his hands together and rubbed his palms together. Dean tensed and looked down at Castiel, frowning and not looking at all excited. 

The next bag was getting full so he changed it out and hooked up a new one. “How many more will he have to fill up of these Crowley?”

“Oh I don’t know, three more ought to do it.” Crowley said thoughtfully. “While he’s stuck here bleeding for the team I’ll get mother to come talk to him about the spell and what ingredients she will need from him. We have all the basics already of course.” Crowley walked away to speak to Rowena.

Dean reached over without speaking and gripped Castiel’s hand. Neither said a word, just sat in companionable silence until Cass whispered. “I feel afraid Dean.” 

Dean gripped harder to Cass’ hand and laid his head on his shoulder. “Me too.”  
\-----------------------------------  
Rowena walked into the room a few minutes later, clutching the Book of the Damned. 

"Fergus asked me to come speak to you about what I still need to complete the empowering spell. I have all the more basic ingredients but I do need one thing from you." Rowena asked rather politely. 

"What?" Castiel croaked out, sitting up in the chair, being careful not to pull the line out of his arm. 

"Well, it will require a bit of something that makes up your Angelic essence Castiel. I..I thought it could be a hair or blood, but those were...are not really your true self. It is very difficult to find research on spell components for Angels but it is clear, it must be something purely Angelic."

"What then? I can't give you my Grace..."

"Oh nothing as dramatic as all that..I believe a feather would do."

"A feather? But my wings are..well I mean, there are a few left, but they are damaged." Castiel mindlessly reached to his shoulder and rubbed it like talking about them made him hurt. That gesture was not lost on Dean.

"It could be nothing but the quill and it would suffice. It is still purely Angelic even if it is damaged. I will need it soon as well...not to pressure you." 

Castiel sat up in the chair and sighed. Dean clenched his fists as he looked at his Angel, hooked up to tubes and now being required to give more. "This is turning out into a very stressful day." That was all Cass said before he concentrated and the shadow of the remnants of his wings appeared as they had in front of Mary, just a shadow. Dean didn't understand how he could get an actual feather from shadow but then saw Castiel reach back and his hand disappeared in the shadow. He seemed to jerk in pain. When he pulled his hand out it was holding two small black feathers. They were frayed on the ends, but mostly intact. Castiel rolled the ends of them in his fingers a moment before handing one to Rowena. She bowed politely, though her eyes had grown wide at the wing display. She hesitated while looking at Castiel, then nodded to herself.

"You should know, Lucifer's wings remain intact. I...had the displeasure of seeing them recently. I am hoping using a feather will restore your wings with this spell as well, or I am afraid you not have as much as an advantage as any of us would like. I..will go work on it now." Rowena walked elegantly out of the room. 

"Hmm.." Castiel was still holding the other small feather in his fingertips, gazing at it almost longingly. The look on Cass' face made Dean ache. He had to look away from Castiel's face or his heart would break. He ended up staring at the feather in rapt fascination. That was an actual Angel feather, one of Castiel's wing feathers. Dean's fingertips ached to touch it. 

"Would you like to see it Dean?" Castiel held the feather out in the palm of his hand. Dean reached out and plucked it up, running his finger tips over it.

"It's beautiful Cass..I always envisioned Angels with white wings though." Dean suddenly realized that might be rude to say but it was out there now.

To his relief, Castiel smiled lightly. "Yes Christian paintings seemed to favor that imagery. However, each Angel's wings are uniquely different. Some are indeed white, some gold, some black, and some look similar to different species of birds........ What you saw as me disappearing back when we first met, was actually flight you know. You just weren't on the same ethereal plane as me to be able to see it...I miss them sometimes. I often ponder if one can truly be an Angel without one's wings." Castiel continued to stare at the feather in Dean's fingertips. 

Dean went to hand the feather back to Cass, but he held his hand out in a stopping motion. "No, you keep it. If I don't make it through today I would like the thought of you having the only piece of me left in the world...." Dean and Castiel held eye contact, neither knowing what to say. Suddenly Castiel rubbed the arm that was still filling up blood bags..."You may want to empty this one."

Dean looked down at the almost full bag and quickly laid the feather down on the table, changed the bag, then snatched it back up, like it was a powerful talisman. "Cass...you'll be fine. This will work. We'll lock to devil away, and then we can..."

"Do all those things we whisper about at night?" Castiel sighed, looking like he didn't believe that would ever happen.

"Hell yeah. I mean, yeah. We'll start by going on vacation...somewhere. I dunno. We'll get Sammy to research some places and.."

'That sounds wonderful Dean." Castiel was staring at him smiling softly, his head tilted to the side. 

"Are you..reading my mind?" Dean said nervously. 

Castiel laughed, a tone of tired frustration. "Dean..seriously. You knew I could do that. Prayers remember? When you think of me, it's like a prayer. It's not like I kept it a secret..I always come when you call remember?"

Dean looked at Cass, his mouth in an o shape. He held us his finger as if to ask a question, then shut his mouth. "Huh. I really am a moron."

"I prefer forgetful. You are quite brilliant in most regards.I am actually quite flattered that you forget all I can do. I actually toned down my Angelic Presence when I saw how uncomfortable it made you so many years ago. All for nothing. I'm afraid even if I do survive the day, you will have a very difficult time convincing your mother I am not a monster after it is over."

"Cass, please. Stop saying that. You made the plan sound great an hour ago..And mom will understand."

" It is a good plan, but I am afraid I'm going to lose you either way."

"What do you mean?"

"Wait and see. You've never seen me as you will see me today."  
\-----------------------------  
Another hour had passed and they had taken all the blood they would need to draw the Empowering Sigil that Rowena had designed and modified to serve as a Warding to prevent Lucifer from leaving the circle.

Dean was putting the bags of blood and weapons in a box to take with them when he overheard Rowena talking to Cass about how the warding would work. "Now you know once the warding is sealed you will be sealed in as well until....."

"He'll be stuck in the warding as well? What if he needs to escape?" Dean looked up, still clutching a bag of Castiel's blood.

"As long as Lucifer is an active threat within the circle, I have instructed her not to drop the warding. Until he can be killed or neutralized I cannot leave the circle." Castiel said calmly, laying a still hand on Dean's shoulder.

"This plan is getting worse all the time!" Dean grumbled as he again started shoving items in the box. Sam was standing beside him and clapped a hand on his back, trying to comfort him.

"So...what is the plan if the plan doesn't work?" Mary piped up quietly from the corner.

Castiel got a very commanding tone and looked around the room at the five standing around him. "Then you all run, as fast as you can. I will keep Lucifer at bay as long as I will be able." Castiel whirled and got right into Crowley's face, his eyes glowing blue."And Demon, if you leave even a single one of these people behind to save your own skin, I will smite you myself before I die. Your mother is included in that. You will need her help to try again. "

"Well he just won my vote for leader of the group." Rowena piped up, smiling at Castiel. 

"Finish the final preparations. I need to finalize and discuss strategy with Dean." Castiel gripped Dean's hand and pulled him out of the room, down the hall and back into the depths of the bunker no one really used. It was a dark file room of boxes that Castiel finally pulled Dean into. 

"Man, what kind of strategy.." but Dean's words were cut off by Castiel kissing him like he was on fire. His hands were all over Dean, as if he had grown several pair. His hands were in his hair, cupping his face, running under his shirt. Dean could feel Castiel trembling against him, with fear or need he didn't know. 

"Cass, it's okay. Just let go. I've got you." Dean said through gasps and moans."I got you." 

"Dean, please. I'm so..." Castiel mumbled into Dean's shoulder before pulling his shirt off and kissing Dean's overheated chest. 

"I know baby, I know. Me too.." Dean whispered.

Before Dean knew what was happening, Castiel had unbuttoned and yanked Dean's pants and boxers off. He stood there, him the one trembling now, and not all from the chill in the room. Castiel's beautiful blue eyes were wide and mixed in a combination of fear and lust. Dean began taking Cass' clothes off, smiling at the trench coat Castiel had insisted on wearing today. He let it fall to the floor and stared at it for a moment before Cass had unbuttoned his pants and thrown them off. He was in nothing but his dress shirt and tie, that Dean was moving to remove when Castiel tugged them off hurriedly and crushed him against the wall. Their lower halves pressed against one another and they rutted against each other in a blind heat.

Castiel slid his fingers into his own mouth, sliding them out sensually as he locked eyes with Dean. Dean's dick twitched as Cass pulled his fingers out and moved them to between Dean's legs. He parted them eagerly but his legs shook. When Cass glided his finger in a little roughly, Dean whined. The pleasure/pain helped him. Pain and pleasure was real. They grounded him in the now and not in what lay ahead today. Dean began moving on his finger quickly, knowing time was of the essence. Soon Cass had slid the other wet finger in, rubbing Dean's prostate as he panted and moaned against the wall. They went on like this for several minutes until Cass looked wildly in Dean's eyes and Dean nodded. 

"Do it Cass." Cass spit into his own hand, a crudely erotic sight from such an eloquent creature. That made Dean's eyes roll up in his head then he saw Cass spread the spit on his cock before placing it at Dean's hole. Dean knew this would not go as well as with lube but there was no time. Castiel gritted his teeth as he slid in, the friction and heat making him gasp Dean's name and bite down on his shoulder. Dean grimaced just slightly. It hurt but not unbearably so. It felt amazing too. Castiel began to move slowly inside Dean, gripping his hips and wrapping Dean's legs around his waist. Cass had Dean pinned against the wall, held in his strong arms. Castiel did not falter as he pushed his cock into Dean, stealing kisses through ragged gasps.

"I love you Dean." Castiel gasped as he moved the other man's body over his, pumping into that precious body he loved so much. 

"I love you too Cass." Dean moaned, wrapping his arms around Castiel's neck. Castiel felt his release coming all too soon, but knew they had to get back to the others. 

"I've got you Cass. Come on. Come for me." Dean whispered into his ear. 

Castiel frantically came inside Dean crying out his name until he was panting. He continued to hold Dean until his breathing calmed down and then he looked down at Dean's hard dick, which was trembling and had precome glistening at the tip. He looked at it a moment, cocking his head to the side as he was apt to do. He laid two fingers on it, and slid up. Dean gasped and came hard with a look of utter shock and his eyes rolled back in his head, his hot seed spilling onto Cass' chest.

"What...the..fuck...Cass?" Dean panted as Cass slid him down the wall to settle on his own feet, steadying him while Dean swayed.

Castiel smiled as brightly as Dean had seen in some time. "I healed you with my grace."

"You..you healed my horniness? That's messed up." Dean laughed and ran his hands through his hair, looking on the floor for his clothes. 

Castiel looked over at him, shining with mischief and delight now instead of fear and worry. "I've wanted to try that for a while but was afraid you would freak out...I figured why not today since..."

"Enough of that talk. You can experiment with me any day, and we will." Dean winked and helped both of them get dressed but they rushed at the end, knowing they had been gone longer than they intended to. They walked very quickly back to the main portion of the bunker, hand in hand.

"Well here comes our fearless leader and..Bloody Hell what kind of strategy discussion causes one to button their shirt wrong and put their tie on backwards?" Crowley gestured at the two of them. Dean's shirt was indeed buttoned incorrectly and Castiel's tie was backwards and askew. They looked at each other a bit closer and both of them could have used a hair brushing as well. They actually looked at one another and started laughing. There was so much tension in the room, neither could help it. 

"I'm going to vomit in my mouth." Crowley groaned. 

"I think it's kind of sweet." Rowena smiled at Crowley.

Sam and Mary did in unison eye rolls. 

"Well does anyone ELSE has some "strategy" to plan" Crowley even did strategy in air quotes,"or can we bloody well get on with it?" 

"Let's go." Castiel said, words strong and powerful. The fear was gone from his face now.

Crowley gathered everyone together, holding their supplies, and they vanished.   
\-------------------------------------------------  
Well this feels ominously familiar." Castiel said without emotion as he looked around the empty warehouse with it's tall ceilings. 

"You thinking of that time you went up against four other angels? Cause I am." Dean leaned over and spoke into Cass' ear. Castiel nodded without a word. 

"Come along. Let me show you how we are going to draw this out. It must be precise, and please don't spill the blood everywhere. Neat and tidy!" Rowena chirped as she brought out her sketch of the spell. Mary, Sam, Dean, and Crowley huddled around Rowena as Castiel hung back, pacing. Dean looked back at him as Rowena was explaining and Dean was struck by how much he looked like the Castiel he first met, complete with his backwards tie.He sighed and went back to listening to Rowena. 

Rowena gave the three humans and Crowley each a bag of blood and they began to spread out and used the tubes from the blood bags to begin drawing the outer circle. Rowena had instructed Castiel to stay out of the circle while it was being drawn, so he had found some old metal stairs that led to nowhere to perch upon while he waited. He felt Dean's eyes on him every few minutes and he always raised his head to meet them, but he sat there in quiet contemplation otherwise. When they had drawn the inner five pointed star and the angel sigils, Rowena called for Castiel. He gracefully leapt down from the steps and walked over. Dean was mesmerized as he walked over, all power and confidence. He knew better though.

"You can enter now but once you do, that is it until we break the ward," Rowena explained, looking to Dean mechanically, who stood a few feet away, before backing away and going to her spot on the sigil and looking through her supplies. 

Castiel nodded his head in understanding, but stood just outside the circle, looking at the line drawn with his blood. He looked over at Dean, who was the only one to witness the panic in his eyes. Dean ran over, not caring who saw or what they said. He stood beside Cass and they stood nose to nose. Dean grabbed his hand and said, "See you soon." 

Castiel leaned over and kissed him softly on the mouth, and to everyone's credit, no one made a sound. Dean didn't let go of Castiel's hand till he had entered the circle, then they both dropped their hands helplessly to their sides and Castiel turned his back and walked away into the middle of it.


	18. Don't Keep Me Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle and the Afttermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh! I can't believe we've made it the end on the next chapter. I started this story for NaNoWrimo and I have surpassed my goal. There will definitely be some mini-series from this one to come. I may upload the last chapter tonight or tomorrow. It's done..just needs to be uploaded.

"Dean, take your place please." Rowena nodded at the empty point of the star as the others went their places as well. Dean hesitated, staring at Castiel's back, then going to set his place.

She began to chant as soon as everyone was in place, the spell components already combined in the bowl she had before her. The group saw a red rush of the line of the Ward sealing Castiel in. Castiel followed the line of it with his eyes. Nothing happened for a moment. Everyone but Dean was looking at Rowena, but she and Dean had eyes only for Castiel. Dean felt the hairs on his arms stand up right before the jolt of lightning appeared out of nowhere and struck Castiel. Dean gasped and went to leave his spot.

"NO!" Rowena screamed. "This is part of the spell Dean. You must let it do it's job." Rowena commanded. Dean clenched his fists at his side and willed Castiel to be okay. Hell, he prayed for it. 

Castiel had gone down on one knee as the lightning struck, trembling. As he looked up and around the room, he felt it. Power. 

In a very dramatic show, Castiel's ethereal wings appeared. Not the shadow of them. Dean could see the burnt, charred wings, how a few feathers hung on but otherwise were broken and frayed. Then he saw blue light emanate from Castiel's core and spread out over him, to the tips of his wings. As it spread, Dean saw the feather's grow and expand. Where one moment there had been nothing but the burnt husk of wings, now Dean could see the magnificent spread of black feathers. Castiel apparently could feel what was happening as Dean watched him turn to look at them. He gently moved to spread them and that brought a gasp from the five witnesses. Castiel's eyes glowed a bright blue and a white hot, burning light emanated from him. When he spoke, it hurt Dean's ears, and apparently everyone else's as well. Crowley seemed to be having the most difficulty even looking at Castiel, his eyes squinted almost shut as if in pain.

"I am restored. The enchantment has worked. Summon the Light Bringer, witch." Dean looked at Castiel, puzzled as to the change in his tone..

Rowena raised an eyebrow as well but began the second half of her ritual, summoning Lucifer into the circle. They all held their breath, their eyes burning as they stared at Castiel in the center of the circle. He burned like a small sun. Dean thought he would be seeing it behind his eyelids for weeks, but he couldn't look away. Another light began to appear on the other side of the circle. Castiel braced in the direction of it and waited. Lucifer's form appeared, weak looking and shriveled, but they could all feel his power vibrating in the room. He looked around the circle first before looking at Castiel.

"Oh look it's a reunion! Witch Bitch, Dean, Sam, Doggy, aaaand doesn't matter." He gestured at Mary as he said it. "And my little brother Castiel! You are looking well. Must be an enchantment. I remember how weak you were...I was inside of you remember?..Well I guess I'm not the only one in this crowd eh?" Lucifer tapped his head to indicate he could hear him. "When I was inside you I saw the weak, sniveling, fearful thing you were. You've grown a little since then, but how much of it is just smoke and mirrors?" Lucifer spit on the floor, "You;'re love for humanity is really, truly, disgusting. You'll stand before me and die for them? I never understood how you and Father doted upon them so. Now your' ready to...attempt.. to destroy yet another Angel in their defense? The last, great defender of humanity..Pathetic..They're screwed you know. You are too stupid to stay out of my way, and they will pay the price for your arrogance once I've killed you. I'll start with your boyfriend." Lucifer ran at Cass, weilding his angle blade, his wings appearing behind him in shadow as he ran. Even as shriveled as he was, it was truly a sight to behold as Crowley had said. Castiel charged at him and they clashed in the center of the circle, Cass stopping Lucifer's blade with two of his own, one in each hand. After stopping the blade, Castiel slashed out, catching Lucifer in the leg, grace shining through. He hissed and retreated a step before coming back to swipe toward Cass' face. Cass whipped his wings around, emanating a blue glow that blocked the blow completely. Castiel stepped forward and whirled around to try to slash at Lucifer's stomach, but he dodged in time. Castiel's assault was punishing and relentless. Lucifer seemed to be one step ahead of him though.

Dean stood mesmerized. Shield of God. Castiel could literally use his wings as a shield. He had never seen another Angel do that. Watching him was like watching Castiel dance, though if you had asked he would have said he didn't think Castiel could. He was hypnotic, beautiful, and terrifying. Dean looked around the circle for a moment and saw everyone else as entranced as he was. 

Castiel launched himself in the air on his wings, knowing this would give him advantage. Lucifer followed but was slightly slower in his injured state. They looked like two predatory birds, swooping and diving upon one another, the clank of angel blades piercing the otherwise silent warehouse, sparks of silver appearing when the blows were deflected. 

Suddenly, Lucifer began to speak as he battled, trying to rattle Castiel. The voices shook the warehouse. "You really think your better than me don't you Castiel, but your just the same. You've defied, you've killed, you've sinned, but you think you're better than me. Free will isn't for everyone Castiel. At least I DID something with it. You pathetically hide away on Earth acting like you are helping anyone but yourself. The other Angels hate you just as much as they hate me."

Castiel never faltered in his attacks even as he spoke. He was calm but powerful. "We are similar, that is true. However where we differ is that I choose to protect that which you seek to destroy. That is why God has stood by me throughout my disobedience. He has resurrected me multiple times to continue his work, while he locked you away. He rewarded me for standing up to you when I was at my weakest and punished me when I was wrong. However, he continues to allow me my freedom, which he does not wish for you. I am stronger than you. I am stronger in that GOD IS WITH ME! " Castiel used his wings to push Lucifer down to the ground, pinning him. He then swiftly took both angel blades and dove them into Lucifer's wrists. Lucifer's vessel screamed and his grace began to leak out, seeking escape. Castiel's voice echoed throughout the warehouse, shaking it as the ground trembled beneath them more.

"EVERYONE SHUT YOUR EYES NOW! ROWENA SEND HIM NOW!"

Everyone threw their hands over their eyes as Rowena chanted the spell to send him back. No one but Castiel saw as Lucifer's true form appeared before him, screaming and afraid as black chains of smoke appeared. His form was beautiful yet twisted and deformed. As he rose, the black smoke began to punch through and wrap around him, dragging him down, screaming and writhing. Castiel attempted to step back and Lucifer took one last shot at his glowing form. As he swung, his giant fist partially wrapped in the the black ropes of smoke, lightning struck again, emitting a white glow and protecting Castiel. The glass in the windows all shattered, a piercing ringing screamed throughout the room, and the ground shook like an earthquake. Wind whipped through the warehouse as Lucifer was dragged down, down until he disappeared. 

The humans and Crowley cowered on the ground, waiting for the sound of calm, too afraid to look. The ringing finally subsided and the ground stilled. No one moved. Another minute passed and Dean was the first to brave his eyes. He stood with his back to the center of the room, dusting off glass and turned slowly. Castiel stood alone in the center of the Warding, staring up. He was emanating a blindingly white light still, and speaking in Enochian to...someone. His wings were still visible and Dean..well Dean didn't know what to do. He took one step off his spot on the Ward and Castiel's head immediately turned to him, a blinding ocean blue light emanating from them. 

"Release me from the Warding. Now." Castiel commanded, his voice sounding like two voices overlapped, making Dean's ears ache. Dean looked to Sam and Mary in turn, who were brushing themselves off, looking equally as nervous. Rowena had backed away from her spot on the Ward as well and was trying to make herself small. 

Dean bent down to wipe a spot in the ward when he heard Crowley shriek." NO YOU BLOOD IDIOT!" Dean froze and Crowley came running over...and Dean wasn't sure he'd ever seen Crowley run. 

"I said release me!" Castiel commanded again, his voice shaking the foundation."The demon is afraid. I can sense his fear. He should fear." Castiel said again in the same voice. Dean's ears were beginning to ring again. Sam and Mary walked over together as well, dodging glass and rubble. 

"Make it fast Crowley. Why shouldn't we release him? Lucifer is gone. Castiel did it."

"Yes, and he's still pumped up on his Enchantment. He could smite us all." Crowley talked through the side of his mouth, as if Castiel couldn't hear him. 

Castiel laughed, a very disturbing sound in the double timber. "it's not the enchantment, Crowley. God has a mission for me. If you will not release me, I will do it myself."

Dean bent to trace a line in the warding. "Crowley, get everyone else back to the bunker. I'm not leaving him like this. You should be there safe there for now." 

"Are you mad? He could kill you!" Crowley shrieked. 

"Yeah, he could. But he won't, and I made him a promise. Now go." Dean nodded to Sam and his mom. "I'll be back soon. I promise."

Mary ran to his side, “Dean you trust him not to..”

“I trust him. Go mom. I’ll be back soon.” Dean kissed her on the cheek. 

Crowley hurried everyone over, constantly looking back at Castiel, whose eyes stared the demon down. “Time to go. Time to go. Try not to die Dean.” Poof. Gone. 

Dean swallowed hard looking at the still, pulsating form that was his lover. Was it still him in there? He took a ragged breath and drew a line through the warding, watching the shimmer of red dissipate. He shot his head back up, but Castiel’s form remained the same. Dean took a tentative step toward Castiel, trembling. 

“Do not be afraid, Dean.” Castiel spoke as he took a step toward Dean.

“I might be a little less afraid if you would turn off the surround sound and took your wattage down a notch, Cass.” Dean said as he shielded his eyes with his arm.

“My apologizes.” Castiel said as he tilted his head and the light surrounding him absorbed into his core. He walked toward Dean, the only sound in the room the clicking of Castiel’s shoes on the broken glass. Dean found the strength to walk forward and meet Castiel on the left side of the circle. When Dean got within touching distance of Castiel, he stared wide-eyed up at his wings, still towering above him, the black feathers seeming to shudder and move as if alive. Dean’s pupils dilated as he stared at Castiel.  
Castiel chuckled, a hint of himself shining through. He cocked his head to one side and his eyes still shined blue flame. He looked up as if hearing voices. Hell maybe he was. “I have to go for a short time Dean. I have to return to Heaven to fulfill a promise. All will be revealed in time. Until then..” Castiel leaned over and kissed Dean softly on the lips, making all the hairs rise on Dean’s arms like he was in a lightning storm. Castiel pulled back then laid two fingers on Dean’s head.  
\---------------------------------------  
Dean was standing in the middle of the library in the bunker, surrounded by his Mom, Sam, Rowena, and Crowley. Sam and Mary ran to grab Dean’s arms as he swayed. 

“Damn it! I forgot how much I hate Angel Airways.” Dean muttered as he rubbed his head.

“Castiel sent you back here?” Mary asked, clutching Dean’s arm.

“Yeah, he said he had to go back to Heaven for something…but said he’d be back. He’ll be back right?”

“Well I’m out. The most powerful Angel currently free on the planet thought I was banging his boyfriend. That is definitely my cue to not be here when he comes back. Shall we, Mother?” Crowley extended a hand to Rowena. 

“Very well, Fergus, but we have to discuss how you’re going to reward me when you take back Hell.” Crowley and Rowena poofed away. 

Dean, Sam, and Mary stood staring at one another. At once Mary outstretched her arms and hugged both the boys to her. 

“ Your friend are all quite frightening. Do you have ANY human friends?” Mary said quietly.

“Yeah mom. You’ll like Jody. I promise we’ll let you meet her soon. She’s 100% Butt Kicking Human.” Sam laughed lightly. 

“Dean, is Castiel going to be okay?” Mary looked to Dean. She had worry etched in her face. “He was amazing today. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him…”

Dean smiled, a little bit of pride slipping through. “Yeah he kicked ass….and yeah, I think he’s okay. He said he had to fulfill a promise. I don’t know what. I trust him. He said he’ll come back. I know he will.” Dean nodded his head more to himself than to Sam and Mary. “I can’t believe the little nerd did it. He sent Lucifer packing back to Hell. That was…”

“Amazing.” Sam finished. “Seeing Cass like that. I never realized…”

“Yeah neither did I…Man I don’t see why he put up with the crap we gave him over the years. He could have just smited us.” Dean laughed softly.

“Because he’s kind, and good.” Mary said with determination. “Dean, he really is good isn’t he?”

Dean tilted his head to the side as he smiled. “Yeah mom he is. Everything he’s ever done wrong, he did trying to make things right. He has a truly good heart.”

Mary yawned as she smiled. “I’m exhausted and really need a shower. It’s exhausting watching Angel death matches, but you definitely lead interesting lives.” Mary smiled as she went off to shower after hugging the boys. “Goodnight boys.”

Dean flinched at his mom’s words, remembering those coming from another mouth. Castiel, where are you? Are you okay?

“Dean, I’m sure Cass is fine. Why not try to get some sleep?” Sam patted Dean’s shoulder. 

“Nah, Sammy. I’m gonna stay up a while. You go on to bed.” 

“Okay Dean, let me know if..when Cass gets home.” Sam smiled and headed to bed.

Dean decided to go to the kitchen and grab a beer. He pulled one out of the fridge and headed toward the bedroom. He walked on autopilot to the room he’d grown accustomed to sleeping in. He found himself staring at a closed door with Enochian writing and angel wings inscribed on it. Dean ran his hands over the wings. They’d gotten the shape of them all wrong, though he wasn’t sure an artist alive could have captured them and shown them any justice. 

Dean pushed open the door to Castiel’s room and snapped on the desk lamp. No Cass. Not like he’d expected him but…Dean sighed and put his beer down on the dresser and stole a shirt and pajama pants out of Cass’ drawer to wear. Some of the clothes in the drawer were his anyway. He realized they had been mixing their clothes together for a while now. He smiled at that and went to sit on the bed, beer in hand. 

Dean plopped down on the bed and turned on Netflix. He found the show they had been watching together and he almost clicked to the next episode when he thought….No, Cass will be mad I skipped ahead without him….I’ll wait. Dean sighed. 

Don’t keep me waiting too long love, Dean prayed to Castiel. He found another mindless comedy and clicked on the first episode, sipping at his beer.


	19. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel returns back to the bunker, but can he stay?

Dean awoke in the middle of the night, Netflix asking if he was still watching. He reached over for Castiel but found the empty bed. Oh. Right. He wasn’t here. Damn it. Where the hell was he? Dean rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and went and got out the black feather where he had tucked in the drawer. He sat back down and rolled the quill around in his fingertips. Would he even be the same Cass when he got back? Stupid Crowley and his stupid ideas. Sure the devil was back in his box but what if he lost Cass in the process? No, Cass had told him he would come back. Dean had faith in Castiel..but just in case, Dean said an extra prayer to someone else, hoping they might be listening.

Breakfast the next morning was a quiet affair. The quiet, playful banter of the previous morning was gone and the elephant in the room was Castiel’s empty chair. They ate and talked quietly, but the clink of dishes and scrape of chairs was deafening compared to the low volume of their voices. Dean excused himself from breakfast and went to the tv room. He could not sit in that empty bedroom without Cass another minute. He had just clicked back to the comedy they’d been watching together, considering watching the next episode without him out of spite when he heard a rustle of feathers. Goosebumps ran up his arm. 

“I thought you said we would watch the next episode together,” came a familiar, if slightly annoyed voice from behind him. Dean whirled around. It was Cass. Normal, non glowly Cass. 

“Cass!” Dean yelled, coming around the couch. He hugged him tight and Castiel wrapped his arms around him as well.

“I told you I’d be back, but your prayers made it hard to stay away this long.” Castiel whispered.

“Cass!” Came a yell from Sam. He had heard Dean yell. Mary came in a hurry from the kitchen and smiled. “Castiel!” 

“Hello everyone. I am sorry if my absence was worrisome. My Father requested my presence in Heaven. It took…longer..than anticipated. However, all plans are now in place and I have confirmed that Lucifer is indeed confined to his cage in Hell. As we speak, Crowley is rallying forces to his side to retake Hell. He has let no time go to waste.”

“Well you’ve had a busy…wait what? God..Chuck went back to Heaven?” Dean sputtered out, pulling back and looking with curiosity.

“No Dean. He is still away but he used me as his mouthpiece to explain the new way of things to the remaining Angels. He has grown tired of the strife amongst us all. He interceded in my fight with Lucifer when I was about to be struck down...Oh right...You didn't see that..Well..no matter!" Castiel smiled awkwardly at the very alarmed look on Dean's face. he spread his arms out in front of him. "He also saw fit to restore my wings.” Castiel changed the subject quickly and Dean almost thought he could hear the proud ruffle of wings. 

“But why you Cass? Why choose you as his mouthpiece?” Sam asked, truly curious.

“We spoke at length. It is quite a lot to tell, but Father has allowed me “off leash” as he put it. I am the first Angel to ever choose free will, to fall, and still serve God and the greater good. His words...not mine.” Castiel smiled shyly, sticking his hands in his pockets. Dean sighed, the nerdy,shy angel was still in there. “I am the last of the Seraph and I have a duty to uphold but Chuck has seen fit to free me of my tether to Heaven, and restored my wings, as long as I continue the task he has now set before me.”

Dean’s stomach tightened. He was going to leave. “And what was that? An exciting new mission?” Dean tried to act casually as he asked.

“Oh it's very exciting, but most certainly not new Dean...I am to protect “his” Winchesters,as he called you.” Castiel rolled his eyes at that. “We did have a small argument about his wording of that…he won. I mean, he IS God.” Dean’s eyes grew big.

“He WANTS you to stay with us?” Dean stared, not believing his luck could change so dramatically.

Castiel nodded his head once. “Indeed. You are to be protected and no Angels are to harm you. He has called them off on their hunt for me as well….They weren’t very happy about that part.”

Dean laughed out loud and smiled at his family. “Well, any other instructions or is that all?”

“Well…He told me not to smite Crowley..that, and I quote “His purpose will be revealed in time.” Dean smiled at Castiel’s almost pout. 

“Sorry Angel. I’m sure that put a damper on you having your powers back.”

“Well I cannot complain very much. He did just give me everything I ever wanted…besides Smiting Crowley…”  
\--------------------------------

Dean lay in bed with Castiel, wrapped up in one another, nude but not from sex. After the excitement had died down, Mary and Sam had found their own reasons to leave the bunker for the day. Dean and Cass had headed straight to the bedroom but neither found any urgency in having sex, wanting just to hold one another. 

Dean shuddered and he was covered in goose bumps as Castiel laid a kiss over his anti-possession tattoo though it felt like soft lightning crawling beneath his skin. “Cass, if you don’t quit that…”

“I’m sorry Dean, but I am excited to try new things with you with my renewed power….”

Dean gulped and looked into those slightly glowing blue eyes. “Me too love, but that’s something for another day.”

There was silence for a few minutes as they kissed soft and slow.

“Dean, when I was in Heaven I thought it might feel like home again but all I could think about was coming back to my family; You, Sam...Mary.”

‘I admit…I was worried you might decide to stay with your Angel family…I mean, they’re your blood. I know you love me…us.. but…”

Castiel put one finger over Dean’s lips, leaned in and whispered, “Family is about more than blood Dean. It’s about sacrifice, love, and friendship. You taught me that.”

“Well, I do say smart things sometimes…” Dean smiled against Castiel’s lips.

“Don’t get cocky Dean Winchester.” Castiel growled softly.

“No promises Angel, not with you in the room.” Dean grinned as Castiel rolled his eyes and kissed him again.  
\------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was amazingly fun to write and I have some more ideas for lead-offs from the story if any readers are interested in me doing so. I also am open to writing prompts. 
> 
> Songs that Inspired this story:
> 
> Fallen Angel: Three Days Grace  
> Sad Song: We the Kings  
> Gasoline: Halsey  
> Only Human: Christina Perri  
> Halo: Beyonce


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